Saturday, September 19, 2009

2 down and 5478 to go

For the second time today I got the standard adoption question:

"So, you adopting like Angelina Jolie??"

Yeah, exactly like that. Except it will take us 2 years and probably took her 20 seconds. And it will take a good bit of our assets. It took her pocket change. But other than that, it's exactly the same.

I still have to say that I have been getting off easier than Tony has. Most everyone I have talked to has been very positive and encouraging. Some of the comments he has passed on to me:

"Why all the way to Africa when there are white kids you can adopt here?"

"You need to wait until you are making more money. Quit putting all your trust in God and man up. It's your job to take of YOUR family."

It's not about black or white. Yes, I do realize, here in the South, I will be getting some nice grocery store stares. I have even started prepping my oldest that he may have to face some prejudice of his own as the brother to a black sister. But as I read in another adoptive mom's blog today - it's not about us.

To have my children, my biological children, be inconvenienced because of another family member. To have them picked on because of our decision. To have them do without the latest and greatest gadget because of a larger family. That is not cruelty or thoughtlessness. That is a gift.

To have my children, my biological children, grow up seeing there is no difference in a person because of their skin color. To see that we are all God's children. Being white doesn't make one better. To see how cruel the world can be, and want to change it. To learn that life is not all about who has the most toys. To learn how blessed we are to have a roof over our heads, food in our cabinets, and clothes in our closet. To learn that God gives to us only so that we can give to others. That is a gift.

So yes, there are white kids here I could adopt. If I was only looking to adopt. And I have been told that it isn't about 'saving a child'. It is about expanding my family. And I agree to an extent. But I also think it is more about the path God is placing us on.

When I was pregnant I was addicted to "The Baby Story". Why I wanted to watch women push babies out while screaming in a pool of water, I don't know. Now that I am semi-paper pregnant, I am addicted to adoption blogs. To see babies who were referred as little scrawny and unhealthy infants, become little chubby faced cherubs in the arms of their mothers and fathers who love them. One such couple (who were not through my agency) recently went to pick up their first child and were handed their little girl covered in a rash and told "we think she has the measles". The baby was burning up and they immediately went to try to get her medical attention. It turns out the little 8 month old had 2 ear infections that were so severe that her immune system was shutting down and causing her rash. Thank goodness her parents were there to get her help. I haven't met anyone in America almost die over an ear infection.

Another picked their baby up and after a couple weeks, have found that her left arm and leg have trouble bending and moving. In the US, that baby will get physical therapy and early intervention. How would she have faired in Africa, where the disabled aren't fed or given a chance at an education? Where they end up in the middle of traffic, begging for coins while dragging themselves between the honking cars.

So that's why we are going all the way to Africa to adopt. That's why we are risking traumatizing my kids, putting us in the poor house, having Tony called less-than-a-man. That's why I don't care if I get stares at Wal-Mart like I just cheated on my husband and got caught. Cause it's not about me, as I've quoted before "this life is not my own." It's not all about me. Or Angelina for that matter. It's about these kids, and how they are just as deserving of having parents and love as the kids of my flesh and blood.


Hall Family said...

Great Post! I am definitely praying for your family, which includes Olivia too!!

Amy said...

Well said! Still praying for your family. You asked about the silent auction vs. raffle- check with your state if you are allowed to do a raffle. If so, might be the better route with it being worth so much. Trust me, thought I am NOT the fund raising queen- it's ALL God. I just lead where He tells me to go.

JG said...

Thanks for the comment! And I love this post. I guess it's just one of those thing that only those on the same path with you can really understand. Not many people understand when I say that ever sine I was a little girl, I *knew* I had a daughter in China. And still know. But to those who haven't experienced that yet, it really is like there is a veil on their eyes.

Beth said...

Hey girlie,
I added your chipin button on my blog! I hope you see answered prayers soon ;-)

The Beaver Bunch said...

Praying for you, your family and sweet Olivia.

Tari said...

Great post; thanks for it.