Jobs 2 Do - my 4,584th attempt at a chore chart

FINALLY!  Something that is somewhat working for chores!   We have tried charts, allowances, regular weekly chores, and nothing really worked.   Consistency.   Consistency is something I struggle with in making them follow through.  

So I turned to the Meca of Mommy ideas - Pinterest.    And hit gold.   (so far anyway)

Kirsten at Embellish designed the sticks and her sight features a free downloadable 'chore sticks' file and directions for making the sticks.    It is alot of pages with alot of chores.    I choose to print only the pages that I thought we would use and instead printed several pages of blank sticks for custom chores.

So with sticks, jar, and chore chart made - here's what is working for us:

• We try to have our 'draw chore' day on Sunday so that they have all week to work on them.  Chores have to be done by Saturday night to get paid.
• With three kids working at them, we have 40 main chores.   38 that are split into two piles (19 for every other week) and 2 extra that are in the jar every week (Freebee & Trade Chore sticks).
• The kids like the freebee and trade sticks.  Unless they are the kids that doesn't get the freebee or trade chore stick.
• So it works out with us to have 21 sticks each week, or 7 each.  I begin by having them each draw specific colors so the main jobs (like bathroom and kitchen) are split equally between them.  They place them in their pocket on the left and when it is done, move it over to the right, also where they store their 'chore bucks'.
• Chore bucks are in 5s and 1s - I just printed them off the internet as well.   The kids get $5 a week IF they have done all of their 7 chores well.   If they miss one or two chores, they are docked accordingly.  
• The reason I chose chore bucks vs. real money is that they tend to burn through real ones alot quicker.    Usually on dumb stuff like gum or chips.   With the chore bucks, they tend to save more.   The way we work it is with my debit card.   When we shop, they just know how many $$ they have and I just pay with my debit when they find something they want.   Eventually, we will move to them having real money so they learn the fun of taxes eating up more than the pricetag, but for now, this is working.  The bucks can also be traded for real ones if they need money for something at school or to give their tithe.
• The spare sticks - they hang out in the can all week and can be used at mom's discretion.   They are a little harder chores, like cleaning out the fridge, refolding all the clothes in your drawers, dusting all the dustboards.   "You were talking really mean to your sister - go pull a chore stick".   
• I also have chores that may be room specific that I can just add to their pockets when they need to be done - vacuum your room, put your clothes away, dust your room.   Things that aren't every other week chores, but need to be done asap. 
• If by Saturday, one of the kids hasn't completed one of the chores, I'll ask one of the other kids if they want to do the job and give them the $1 or $2 from kid #1.   "Congratulations, you just paid your brother to vacuum the TV room".  

So far, so good.   The kids think it is fun to draw the sticks and are happy to finally have a real allowance again.  Mom's just happy that I don't have to clean toilets for the time being.  
 

To Addis Ababa we went...

 So remember me saying that we had $2,000 + $5,000 = $7,000 for the kids plane tickets they had been praying so long for??     Half of what we needed.   Which would really have been sweet with a BOGO deal?

Ethiopian Air - if you booked by January 31st, and traveled in March of 2012 - you could get BOGO.    Slim to none chance as we had just gotten our referral on January 9th and court dates are usually assigned two months later.  

We got our call with our court date on January 31st at 1:30 pm.
Our court date was March 8th, 2012. 
Miraculously, our 6 plane tickets costed a little less than $7,000.  

And to sing the praises of my wise friend Farrah - we had been contemplating getting the kids shots 'just in case' (even though we didn't have their airfare) months prior and Farrah had said, "Get the shots.  Move like God has already put that money in the bank, have faith".  So we did.   Thankful that the Lord choose to show off a bit with minutes to spare, just so that we could laugh about his sense of humor and how it could only have been a loving God to provide such an awesome surprise.   

100's of dollars of shots in preparation, about 6 old and huge suitcases purchased from GoodWill, clothing sprayed down with the highest powered bug spray I could find online, and a TON of donations for the orphanages that I had been collecting for about, oh, 3 years.  

So it was great the kids got to go - otherwise there is no way we could have taken all those donations - toys, diapers, clothing, medicine, you name it.  I wish I had charted how many hours I packed, weighed, repacked, weighed again, repeat.   50 lbs is easy to hit with heavy baby items!   We each got one carry-on and 2 suitcases.    (Our friend Mindy had also volunteered to go to help with the kids).  This is just a portion of our finished pile.

The kids actually have commented how they loved flying and miss the airplane food.  (I think it was the drugs I was giving them... had to be).     Breakfast consisted of a bread, more bread, and a fruit cup.   (can't help but think of the K & W Cafeteria ladies - "bread, bread, serve you bread??")  

We landed in Addis Ababa and collected our mountains and mountains of luggage.   It was frankly, hilarious.   To see these clumsy Americans trying to roll along carts of 12 large suitcases and 3 carry-ons, all with backpacks on their backs.   We looked like the Queen going on holiday.   I wanted to tell everyone staring, "really, this isn't all for us.  I promise!  We aren't this high maintenance!!"

Riding through the steets of Addis Ababa, it felt like I had come home.   Having been there in 2009, not much had changed on the ride from the airport.   The same maneqquins that hang out in front of EVERY store.  


The same charcoal / car exhaust smells in the air.    The sights of donkeys, goats, and sheep being led by children down the busy streets.

The city is such a mish mash of old vs. new.   Villas and tin shacks side by side.   Internet cafes but yet a jungle of power lines criss-crossing every which way.

 Half finished buildings are everywhere.  It's like they start a big project and run out of money before completion...

 Raw meat hanging for sale in store front windows.   Our guide said that it can stay there for a day and still 'be alright to eat'.   I'll take his word for it....

And those on the streets -  Kids on the streets just laying around, or flocking our van signing 'eat, eat, mama - eat??'.   Teens on the streets busy shining shoes or holding their boxes in hopes of a customer.  

Mothers with babies begging for coins.  

 Traffic is crazy busy with an unspoken rule of drive fast, pass quickly, and somehow miss the millions of walking pedestrians.   There is a lot of beeping going on as well.   Beeping your horn can mean a host of things - and somehow the drivers understand their meanings like a mother understands her baby's cry.   There are no stoplights, or stop signs.  Just speed and quick turns down the hundreds of little bumpy streets.   Paved and unpaved.  We were amazed we didn't see a hundred accidents with the way we sped down the streets and pushed the nose of the car into traffic until we gained right of way.   It is a finely tuned instrument I suppose.  One I hope to never have to play on my own...

  Disabled dodge in and out of this crazy traffic begging...

 And it wasn't unusual at all to see someone sleeping (or using the bathroom) in the middle of a median.   Thankfully, I think the kids missed the latter of the two... 

We kept seeing tiny boxes we assumed are living quarters.  

 And tiny patchwork tin shacks we know held entire families.   And wondered how they withstood the rainy season when sheets of rain flood the city...

 Gorgeous homes that seemed so out of place dotted the city as well.  Most had high walls with broke glass across the top as security systems.  And most were next door to the tiny tin shacks like above.

And over my 2 trips - what became my favorite landmarks -

The familiar Coca-Cola store

The 'Tupperware' store.

Again, I thank God my kids were able to see a world where everyone doesn't own a car, kids walk to school in torn and ratty uniforms, children lay around on the streets as their parents can't afford for them to go to school at all.    Because although my photos are interesting, there is no way I can describe or help you to picture such a land without seeing it.   As I once told someone, we see these photos and they are but snapshots of a land far away.   A photo in a frame.    But to realize that the reality is, they are not singular shots, but a moving narrative that continues on, and on, and on.   The pictures of poverty never ended.  Those in Ethiopia cannot just 'leave the bad part of town' and resettle, as this is their everyday life.   And yet, it has a rare beauty in it's simplicity.

We later left the city for the countryside for a whole other view.   The beauty of this land is amazing and the contrasts in city/country and new/old stood out even more with each mile our bumpy van raced down the mountain, away from the capital, Addis Ababa, and into the true country of Ethiopia.

But that is a story for later..... 

The Unwritten Story

This week has been a week of memories.    Remembering how depressed I was this time last year as we sat at #1 on the waiting list for 2 months, and had just missed another Christmas without our baby.   Remembering how many walks I went on on Friday afternoons, praying for that blasted phone to ring.  

And then Sunday, our pastor mentions taking that first step.  Walking in faith.   When God says move, making that move so that you don't miss the story he has for you.   And I wanted to jump up and run to the front to say "that was us!!  that's our story!!!  It was hard, it was long, but it was worth it to take that step!"  

And then another friend asked our story and I wanted to point her here - until I realized that in all the hard, long days of last year - I really didn't write our story.    Sure, I wrote the prelude but our actual story was lost in the excitement of 2 trips to Africa and bringing a new baby home.  

So here is my attempt to journal the story I forgot to write.  And if I have 2 readers still left after my months of no blogging - here ya go.
 --------------------------------------------------

During the months and months of us waiting, the kids had been begging to go with us to Africa.   Knowing that tickets are around $1,400-2,000 a piece, I told them what any mom would tell a kid asking for $2000 X 3.  PRAY.

Pray for God to give you the money to go.  Because we sure don't have it.  So they prayed.  Like every night.   They even set up little lemonade stands asking for donations.   (I pity anyone on our block who received a dirty little cup of cheap Minute Maid Lemonade - but thank you for being sweet and helping my kids fly to Africa).    I told them, "if God wants you to go, he'll provide the money.   IF he doesn't, then we'll know that HE knew that if you were to go, you might get sick, or really sad, or hurt.   And we'll know he wanted to keep you safe at home."  

A couple months before our referral, we got the most unexpected gift from precious friends who donated $2000 specifically for our kids plane tickets.   They were saving for their own adoption but felt the Holy Spirit telling them to donate toward our kids as it was 'investing in their spiritual growth'.   Who knows what our kids will accomplish with this knowledge of missions so early??  

And $2000 was wonderful, and unexpected, and so, so generous.  But a far cry from the $6000 we needed just for them.   $14,000 for all of us to go. 

And then we found out Tony's job had an adoption stipend for adopting state employees.   For $5000.   So, work with me here - $2,000 + $5,000 = $7,000.    Half way there.  

Half way.   Which would be perfect if tickets were half off.  Which they were, IF you booked by January 1st and traveled in March.    What were the odds??  We didn't even have a referral yet.    (hold that thought)

Tomorrow is our one year anniversary of our referral day.   And looking back, in my frenzied state, I didn't set up the scene well enough for you.    

I get the call, miss the call, call her back and we can't get Tony on the line.  
I race to the courthouse where he was working.   Race up the front steps and run through security.   Seeing another deputy I tell her I need to find Tony because I have big news.  She lights up and asks, "THE news???"   I nod and try not to cry.   We run from room to room in the courthouse looking for him - no dice.   She says he must have walked a judge out so we head downstairs and out a back door.

Now I'll set this movie scene up for you - one year ago - I open the door as my husband is walking up a long handicapped ramp.   I run and jump in his arms and whisper in his ear, choking back tears, "we got our girl".    It was so Hollywood it is crazy. 

Until he had to go on a top secret job interview to change police departments.   15 minutes later.   So no going home just yet for Daddy.

Have I reminded you yet that it's about an hour since I got the call and I still haven't seen my baby's picture or know her name yet??

I race to Seth's school where I ask to sign him out.   I go to the front and wait a stinky for.ever when he comes walking down the hall.   He sees me and mouths 'a referral????"    He runs and jumps to hug me.  

We both go to the elementary school and I ask to sign Braeden and Addison out.   Addi arrives through the door first and I hug her and say "we got your baby!"  To which she says "Where????"

Braeden comes through the doors with HUGE eyes.    He takes one look at me and says, "Did we get a referral??"  When I nod yes - he jumps to hug me and for some reason (I later see on the video), I lift up my arms and he completely hugs thin air.  Whoops, middle child.   I completely stiffed you of your hug and I will forever hate that when I smile at your face when you found out.   

We go home, set up the video camera and about 30 minutes later Daddy FINALLY arrives home.  New job in hand, and we all sit together on the couch and open the emails with her photos.   These photos:  

She looked so sad.   And SO big.   A week before, a friend of mine had told us she saw them taking pictures of a 3 months old with long, curly hair.   I had just sent a 3 month outfit in a care package to Ethiopia with a friend.    This was NOT that tiny 3 month old I had pictured in my mind.  

But then I printed her photos out.  And took the middle one to my room that night to place on my dresser.  I placed it right beside a painting an adoption friend had sent to me ONE week before to try to cheer me up. 

And once again I knew that God had this all under control. 

And this my friends, is just the beginning of the rest of the story.... 

.....to be continued......

Seamless Transition

"it is so, so rare that I see a child who transitions so seamlessly" -- these, my friends were the words of our social worker at our first post-adoption visit.

Oh.my.word.  I was all smiles, all day.   As I told Tony, yes - I knew she was doing good.  But to hear it from a professional, that made it so much more real!

(and in answer to the question I am getting quite frequently - 'why more home study visits, she isn't yours yet?  can they still take her away?'  NO.  She is legally ours, although we needed this homestudy report to re-adopt in the states to change her name to Olivia as it is still Selamawit legally.   The visits are more to check on us and see if we have any questions, need any support - and more importantly - will be sent on to Ethiopia to let them know their child is in a loving home.)

Our social worker also kept saying "I am just in shock!" at her bonding, her words, her following any direction we gave her.   And I think we have been a little in shock as well.   And don't think for a second this is due to us being great parents, because there are tons of parents way more patient and wise than Tony and I who are still having difficulties adjusting with their little ones.  I just think God knew that we needed an easy adoption, as I had thrown enough temper tantrums during the 3 years leading up to her!  I think he may have been tired of hearing me whine.   

So back to our rare child... and rare she is!! 
(these facts are more for my future reference than yours but feel free to read on or scroll down for some videos of our little ham!)

- At one day in my care, she would not go to my sister or mom and would scream outside my bathroom door or at the door of the shower.   How did she know I was hers and not my sister??
- On day two, she pulled away from the nannies who have been taking care of her for 5 months when they reached for her.

At 4 months:
- she is toddling - everywhere!   Climbing steps, sitting on her bum to scoot back down them.    Climbing up on stairs.
- she is eating - everything!  Fruit, pasta, pieces of meat, some veggies.
- she is signing - A TON!   She is using the signs:  milk, dog, eat, cold, bird, water, music, butterfly, please, cookie, sleep.   And for the first time today, looked at me and signed "LOVE + YOU"!!!
- she is talking - ALOT.   She can say on her own:  dada, mama, (ba)nana, Addi, Nana, cookie, baby, water, up, down, Papaw, dog, no, ow, diaper, hat, hot, hello (for the phone), book, bath.

- I kinda gave her a speech test to see where she ranked and she was above average.  At 2 months home :)

Lil sis is just so, so much fun.  And so, so loud.   Her words are loud enough for the neighbors to hear.   ESPECIALLY in a restaurant or church.   If it's quiet - she feels it is her duty to be loud.  

We have still seen a little bit of 'adoptive child' reactions but they are getting better.  She was originally scared to death of average sized men.  She would climb me like a scared cat if a young guy came in the room.   This hasn't happened in a while.   She had done great for 2 Sundays in the church nursery so on visit #3 I didn't check on her after 5 min of her doing fine.   I came back to find her doing her 'sniffling' really, really upset cry.   The remainder of that week she was SO clingy and didn't want me to leave the room.    And she is sort of that way after a week of me working a lot.  In the evenings, she just wants me to hold her - which is kind of hard with 3 others who have homework and need to eat.   Showers have gotten better with her now sitting at my feet vs. screaming at my feet to be picked up.  Ever try washing your hair with one hand and a toddler on your hip??  Not the easiest thing ever!!

Here are a couple videos to make you smile :)  Cause we do most of the day and we ought to share a little....

'You outta write a book....'

.... except for the minor fact that I haven't been able to effectively write a simple blog post since bringing home Lil' Olivia - much less start a huge undertaking such as a book.    Lil' Miss HATES the computer.   If I sit down in front of one, it doesn't matter what she was doing - her mission is to do her little drunk lady walk over to me and whine to be picked up. 

But, I've now been told I should write a book around 7 times in the last several months.   Usually it is right after I hear the question 'What made you decide to adopt from Ethiopia?' and I commence to exhibit diarrhea of the mouth with my 5 minute prepared service announcement regarding how we got on and sailed down (in the rough waters) our path of adoption and God's provision on getting us there.. See 'our story' to the right for said announcement.

(oh, and 8 people if you count Braeden, out of the blue, telling me I should write a children's book.  Which is a little more tempting as 10 lines vs. 4,587 lines just seems a little easier...)

SO.  With that said - I am here to make amends and write a simple blog post.   Just to show myself I still can.  

Olivia and the last 2 months --- what can I say besides amazing, miraculous, surprising??

To adopt we (as in me) had to read a couple books (and then give Tony the Cliff notes version), take a web course, and go through about 12 hours of training with our social worker.   Nothing prepared me for our little princess..  because she is completely a horse of a different color.   So far anyway.

Princesses First Birthday Pics - 1 Month HOME

I expected long nights of her up screaming and refusing to be comforted by us.  Kicking or pushing us away.   I didn't expect, from night one, her searching for us and waking just to make sure we were still there.   Wanting us to pick her up and cuddle her back to sleep.

Our Gotcha Day - May 7th, 2012 

I expected battles over food with bottles and spoons being pushed away.  I didn't expect this child to eat anything I put in front of her.  Even salmon cakes.   And spinach.   And no, you do not need to call DSS on me.  I've given her french fries and she had her first taste of cotton candy yesterday as well thankyouverymuch.

I expected the need to 'cocoon' and limit our outings for a couple months.  I didn't expect her to be completely at ease at church, sleepovers out of state, at the beach or movies.   As long as we are near her, she is at home and perfectly content to be there.    Now those first few days, me walking into the bathroom or shower resulted in complete melt-downs.   And I currently still usually have a little one at my feet in the shower or face to face with me while I'm in the bathroom.   A little TMI?  Hey, every mother reading this knows what I'm talking about!

Our happy little American citizen in Washington, DC

I expected the need to make sure we were the only ones to comfort her, feed her, attend to her needs.  The need to make sure she knows that WE are her mommy and daddy.  And not every other adult.   I didn't expect her to reject the nannies on our second day of having her, or push away from every Ethiopian that spoke to her on the plane.   I didn't expect her to plaster herself against me when someone puts out their arms to hold her.   Or to now, 2 months later, be comfortable enough to go to others for brief moments before wanting me again.

Our airport welcome crew, minus the photographers I absolutely love for dragging their children 2 hours just to show us some love - Keely and Farrah.

I guess my biggest surprise is how I expected how HARD the adjustment would be.   But once again, God showed me that 'He's got this'.   He knew that with 3 other kids, and my lack of the patience he had been trying to teach me the last 3 years - I might need a tiny bit of 'simple'.   If you can say mothering 4 children is simple.   (I expect the tougher times to begin hitting around this time next year at age 2.)  And yes, we have had the adjustment of getting up earlier, adjusting to a new baby and all the related paraphernalia..  but really, it's just like we woke up on May 13th, the morning after we came home - and our one year old baby was standing up with her cheesy grin in the crib beside us.   As if she had been there forever.   She knows we are hers, and we know she is ours.   And it just fits perfectly and is more beautiful than I could describe in a simple blog post anyway.  

Miss Personality at 10 days home.

As a post script, let me say that NOT all adoptions work out this simply at first.   And it doesn't mean they aren't God-willed.  And it doesn't mean that they are any less of a parent than I am or that their precious new one is any less of an angel than ours.   It just means that God knew they had more patience than I and could handle the more complicated cases while we still needed the preschooler's course in adoption.  

30-some years old

In the early hours of my 30-somethingish birthday,  someone may have over-indulged on my brew of choice and drank a little too much Mt. Dew with her cheap pizza tonight.   A party animal I am..

So reflection/confession time. 

Things you may not know about me:

• I HATE my birthdays.  Like really hate.   I don't know why but I am so uncomfortable with the attention and would rather the day went by unnoticed.   I think it is because having a summer birthday, most of my friends were usually at the beach and it was all the expectation of presents or 'Happy Birthday, I just miss you soooo much!' calls that never came and the downer after.  
•  I also HATE singing the 'Happy Birthday song'.  My children have been blessed to have their Daddy sing it or it would never be started and nobody would know when to blow the blasted candle out.   Thank goodness I make really, like really, good cakes.
• I have yet to see a psychiatrist for my Happy Birthday phobia.   And I'm dealing with it fine, thank you very much.
• Voted 'most changed since junior high as I went from a homely little one who was said to look like 'a little owl' and had never been given a boy's Swatch watch to wear (HUGE let-down in the day), to the Vice President of Student Council.
• Worked at Sonic as a car-hop, without the skates.   It was required I learn in 2 weeks after hiring but after falling on my tail too many times, I risked firing as I turned my white skates in with a 'no thank you note'.    Thank goodness I was hot so they let me stay on and drink free Cherry Lime-Aids to my heart's content.
• Did the beauty pageant wave in 3 home-town parades on the back of a convertible mustang.   
• Participated in 2 pageants - one of which I won (with only two competitors) and was crowned 'Miss BBQ Queen'.  The other of which had to be rigged cause I didn't even place runner-up.   Still a little bitter bout that one.
• If I show you my owl pictures and my pageant pictures you would swear I was a liar.  I can promise you that.   I was a reality make-over show before reality make-over shows came on every other hour on cable tv.
• I fell in puppy love with a jock who was my bus driver and sat behind him drooling over his shoulder every day of my sophomore year.   Shocker is that my pageant days had not yet hit and he still flirted with the little owl anyway.
• Even more a shocker was that the bus driver turned Navy Sailor would come and visit the non-skating-Sonic-carhop who was now hot on his weekends off.    
• Even more a shocker was that we got married between my Junior and Senior years of college at a party school.   Was I trying to throw away my free pass at being-an-idiot-years??

So in my last 15-17 adult years I have pretty successfully:

• married my high school crush, and stayed married to him - SCORE
• Made it through graduate school as a married student who never saw her new husband, and still stayed married to him - SCORE++
• Been pregnant and gave birth to 3 beautiful children.  Each through the magical moments of epidural deliveries.   And do not regret never doing it naturally.  Not one iota.   And my hair and make-up still looked good for after birth photos.   So there.  Another +. 
• Did my tour of duty in the public schools before starting my own business.   Loving the work I do but hating every minute of the required paperwork and labor it takes to get paid.   I think I need an epidural drip for my office chair. 
• Made three trips to Africa.  The first completely 'on my own' with a group of strangers who were to become life-long friends.  My longest (and only) plane ride prior had been approximately 45 minutes to Florida.  On my honeymoon.
• Fell in love with Africa and began the short, but turned out to be long, process to adopt our daughter from there.   And realized that natural labors are bound to be much easier than adoption pregnancies.   Why is there no option for medication in adoption labor??  oh wait, there is - it's called anti-depressants....  
• Have realized anti-depressants are not the enemy.  They help me to curb my desire to yank my eyebrows out if I have to wait too long at a stoplight during my week when Tony feels compelled to ask 'are you PMSing!!!!'   Why yes, hubs, yes I am.   Did the chocolate ring around my mouth give it away??
• Have realized that said chocolate doesn't fall off my thighs as easily in 2010's as it did in the 2000's.  Dang it.

I have also realized that I am the daughter of a King.  A fact I think I somehow missed in my early years.   I thought I was good to go to the party but really was one of the virgins stuck outside the gates with a lamp with no oil.   (Matt 25:9-11 for an explanation of the virgin reference)  

And my only regret (besides letting Dave Ramsey advise us to move our deductibles really high before a hailstorm which wrecked our cars and roof..) is that I started it all so late in the game...

How much more could I have done if my passion, or light, had been lit earlier?   How many more miracles could I have been able to witness had I opened my eyes earlier? 
How many more friends, true friends, could I have made if I had searched them out sooner?
How would my life have changed if I had let loose and given it over to HIM at a younger age?

Somehow I don't think things would be much different because one thing that it did take me 3 years in the adoption race to learn is that HIS TIMING IS PERFECT and patience is hard learned.    So I guess He has me right where he wants me and the above bullets are exactly where he wanted 'em to be...

just wondering where the next 20 years may take me.   Cause my fire is lit now, and I pray that my path will be as well. 

Happy Birthday to me... if I celebrated birthdays that is.

Not all adopted kids have AIDS... but so what if they do??

Olivia has been home now a month and a half!   She is so healthy, so happy, and just exudes such joy to everyone who meets her.   She's gone to the farm, to the beach, to the mountains, and even (gasp) to the grocery store since she has been home.   I had expected it would be harder... and I know I should  be knocking on wood here.  But I thought her  transition would involve many more tantrums and the feedback from our little Southern town would be less than enthusiastic.  

But it hasn't been that at all.  Strangers (black, white, old, young) have frequently stopped us to comment how beautiful she is and we haven't had a single negative public comment as of yet.   Again, knocking on wood.  I'm still expecting to meet that idiot at Wal-Mart who starts out with 'Where's her real mama?' (ahem, I am her real mama.  I have thousands in dr. bills to prove it.)

The one comment that has knocked me on my behind is 'well, she doesn't have AIDS does she??'    Because obviously, she is from Africa.... and well, everyone knows AIDS comes from Africa. 
 So all black African children must have AIDS.  (insert eye roll)

And let me start by answering - no, adopted children are tested before, and often after, adoption to find out any conditions that may be present.    There have been cases of false positives, but not negatives.  If they don't have it, it does not 'mature' and exhibit itself at a later date.   Decades of research, decades.

But let me also say, if my child did have HIV - #1 it wouldn't really be anyone else's business but ours.. and #2 your child would most likely be the dangerous of the two when they play together as it would be your germs that could hurt my child's fragile immune system.   Just sayin'.

It is pure idiocracy that the media has ignored this issue for so long.  No new information has been publicized since the 1980s.  And that is a crime.  HIV/AIDS is no longer a death sentence.  Especially in a country as affluent as the old US of A.   Medicines have made great strides and the condition, and treating it, has actually been said to be much easier to manage than childhood diabetes.   So why hasn't the media told us this???    Children diagnosed with AIDS can now be medicated to the point that they would actually test negative their counts are so low.  They can marry, and have sex, and have children without passing the disease along.   Didn't know that did ya??

Why is there still the stigma put on these children, who had no say in the matter anyway as to whether they contracted the disease or not??  Why are they the ones that parents don't want their kids to play with on the playground - when no cases have shown casual contact like hugging, wrestling, or swimming can transmit AIDS??  There are even no cases of an adopted child passing the disease along to their parents or siblings - even with contact with blood from accidents or scrapes.

So IF my child WERE sick:
The facts are that unless your toddler is planning on having sex with my toddler, they can't get it.
Unless you toddler is breastfeeding from my toddler, they can't get it.
Unless your toddler is sharing needles under the plastic slide with my toddler, they can't get it.

And let me take another wild guess that your child would not be giving birth to mine as that is the ONLY other way to get it, and happens to be the way that the majority of orphans abroad contracted the disease. 

So back to Africa - yes - the rates are high.  But they are also high in the Ukraine and Russia, worried about that little blond boy at the playground lately??   His mom has dark hair, he might be adopted?  Who knows?  

These orphans in other countries have a very good chance of dying from childhood illnesses they contract in the crowded orphanages.  These children in the US have a much better chance of leading long and healthy lives.   These children were orphans, and throughout scripture it says to defend the orphans, so how Christ-like are people who call themselves followers of Christ who are shunning these children like they have leprosy??   I'm pretty sure a guy I look up to ate with them as well...  

So NO, not all black, adopted children from Africa have AIDS. 
But if they did, so what?   My children have played with children with HIV in America and in the African orphanages, and you know what, I don't know which ones had it and which ones didn't.  And my kids could have cared less either.  So, so what?  

This awesome video explains the above in a much more friendly way - without the aggravated tone I was unable to hide:

Truth Pandemic


There is no excuse for ignorance.
Get the FACTS: 
take the time to browse Project Hopeful's website.  They have been making tremendous strides in trying to educate the public and defend the orphan.