Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When is enough, enough??

My heart is beating like a madman just writing this. Not sure why, this is just a computer, with a keyboard attached. It's not like I'm talking to the Queen of England.

But here's the deal - we are sending the application for the adoption agency off this week. We are also sending off the application and fee to apply for a home study to begin. So this is for real. What is also for real is that more money owed will be right around the corner once this train leaves the station. And a home study is only good for one year. So starting it and waiting for 6 months is not an option.

And I go back and forth - faith = "believing in that which you cannot see". Well, I can see my house is not on the market yet (although soon). And I can see that my bank account will be good and low after the above fees. I also have a wonderful blogger friend in the same position we are with adopting and she is also struggling with when to begin, what to do, what to trust in. I want to be faithful but I also know you have to have wisdom. And I'm needin some wisdom.

So I need some advice and feedback - PLEASE. (that being said in a completely whiny and irritating voice). After prayer, I just know I am suppose to step out in faith. But is selling the house and forfeiting all our equity enough? Is having an apple juice jar to collect all our coins enough? Is putting mounds in my garage to yard sell enough? Or do I ask others?

Guilt tells me that wouldn't be fair. I just asked for support last year. And God provided mightily. Embarrassment also says we should just try on our own, it isn't anyone else's burden. But am I keeping God's blessings from others by not asking them to help bring our little girl home? And would it be a burden or a blessing? I just found out recently I had offended someone with my last support letter asking for money, and I felt horrible. I know that many families send out support letters for adoption, but usually they haven't just asked for support one year prior.

Just looking for input, feel perfectly free to comment anonymously. I can take it. But I really need some back up on what to do. Just keep praying for the house to sell or elicit help??

1 comment:

Beth said...

ASK OTHERS! As I have said before... if people are not called to adopt orphans than they should be supporting people who are called. With prayer and finances! This is a ministry and Christ wants His church to be actively loving the fatherless.

If people are offended, than be praying God will open their eyes. Tracy, you are honest in your writing, and I know you would be able to eloquently and humbly ask for support.

With the agency you chose, do they ever set up accounts so that people can "donate" money designated for your adoption? I know CWA does this and we "donated" for the McNeely's adoption... makes it nice for tax purposes (of course I forgot to include it on our deduction list).

Or, maybe send out email support letters with a link for your paypal account and keep track of your "goal" on the sidebar of your blog. I am sure there are lots of ways to keep people involved both in prayer and finances.

Would your church consider doing a silent auction? People can donate items or services... just think of all the fund-raising possibilities :-)

You can to ALL things through Christ, who will strengthen you!