Saturday, August 8, 2009

Adoption - So what's happening?

Nada. Zip. Zilch. Unless you count that we had another 'Movies in the Park' last night and all potty-related slash 'peeing in the woods' accidents were safely avoided.

The adoption - at a stand-still. Last Saturday we went to an agency meeting for Christian World Adoption. We arrived 10 min. early to anything for the first time in our adult lives. Sat for 30 min. in an empty parking lot, started realizing we must have went to the wrong church, called everyone in town asking them to check my email to see where I went wrong, and ended up arriving 45 min late. All I could think of was, "wow, aren't we showing how responsible parents we are??" Hey, anybody could mistake Shandon Presbyterian (itty-bitty church) for Shandon Baptist (huge mega church), right???? No, I know, most would have actually READ their e-mail.

So, on Sunday we make up our mind about agencies. After a long phone call with an America World (AWAA) parent, we decide to yes, go with them. Yeah!!! One step taken. Making Tracy's mind up. And that's a big time step.

On Monday I fill out all the paperwork for the application. Need $250 and a Drs. note for each of us explaining what medicine we are on. Go by my Dr., who never sees me because I'm usually healthy (or hate going to the Dr. one). No problem.

Tony goes by his Dr., whom he sees every other week (as he loves going to the Dr. for every sore throat and strained pinky finger) - they can't fill the form out without an official appointment. What???? Can you say money-hungry anyone??? (I can.) He makes an appointment.

On Tuesday, evil attacks our house. He's angry at the dust bunnies, spoiled milk, puppy poop, everything. I'm crying over spilled milk, papercuts, and excessive soap scum. (All completely fabricated, BTW). But you get the drift. I go into melt down mode. WE.... CAN'T.... DO.... THIS. TOO..... MUCH......STRESSSSSSS! And it's what, Day 2???? I cancel his appt. and decide to wait until the house is sold to actually begin the process.

On Wednesday. My glorious and God-given husband informs me about what a baby I am. How I can talk faith, and belief, and love... until it gets hard. Very gently he says, "Um Tracy, do you think God just decided to say, "Oh, hey, I was just kidding. I really didn't want you to adopt. It was all just a joke." HE knew it would be hard. HE knew that it would test our faith and our strength. HE still told us to obey.

So we are back on. Waiting on the Drs. letters. Just beginning the waiting process that will be the next 1-2 years of our lives. And what I did realize, was that for God to want me to step out in faith, and trust him - I have to be willing, and not scared, to actually take that first step. If I never take that first step and just wait until I think I have it all under control and planned out, I'm not really allowing Him to work, now am I??? Lesson #1 learned of about #4,658 I'm sure.

1 comment:

Hall Family said...

I completely know where you are coming from! I have learnt MANY lessons, and feel like I have not even began to scratch the surface.
Faith is easy when things line up like WE think they are suppose to :( I still have a long way to go on my journey! Can't wait to look back in 2 years to see how much I have grown!