what's a girl to do??

yeah, since I have nothing else to do, right?? A small business, 3 kids, and a home to run really don't count much in the scheme of things I guess....

So on our date of the month, T and I were sitting outside of Starbucks solving the problems of the world and I told him that I just have this feeling that I am suppose to be doing something bigger. Don't know what that is though. And therein lies the problem. It just seems like SO many things are flying in my face and through my mind. Touching my heart. Pulling at my heart. So many blogs have hit home, so many news articles have gripped me. But where do you even start?

I have cried over a description of an African hospital's conditions; dirty bed sheets, unwashed instruments, babies brought in wrapped in dirty blankets that would be in the NICU in the U.S. Unresponsive and lifeless 6 year old brought in by her father to wait in the waiting room.

I have been upset over 'houses' or shanties bull-dozed in the slums of India, with children left to sleep under bridges or on the street. The father is sad that in the little shanty, they didn't get bit by the rats "as much". I have been worried about the rising food costs and increased rate of hunger all over the world, with children starving as I am seated comfortably outside a hamburger joint with a fridge full of food.

But where do you even start? And Compassion. I LOVE Compassion International's work and saw the amazing results that they are able to achieve, with God's help. But what if my trip to Africa with Compassion was just a springboard? Just to learn to open my mind up to the bigger picture - beyond ballgames and American Idol?? It just seems that something bigger is on the horizon that I can't see yet.

And remember how God seems to send me perfectly timed emails (and this one too)? Well, this morning I get this devotional:

"When God calls us into service, often the timeliness of our response is a measure of our faith. Procrastination is a sign that we are not trusting that God will lead the way and guide our paths. Procrastination leads to confusion and indecision, giving the enemy an opportunity to work at convincing us that we are unworthy, unqualified and incapable of carrying out God's will. As a result, we become paralyzed with fear, doubts and insecurities.

Stepping out in faith requires us to fully rely on God, and not on our own assessments of our abilities. Philippians 4:13 reads "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Do you believe it? Is God calling you to a task that is beyond what you think you are capable of; one that may require you to make sacrifices and choose God's plans over your own? Are you willing to say, "Pick me!" and then depend on His strength and sovereignty to carry out His will?

Dear Lord, give me ears to hear Your voice and to know when You are calling me to serve. Help me to put my faith in You, and not in my own abilities. Fill me with a desire to serve in whatever way You have ordained for my life, and bless me with the opportunity to use the spiritual gifts that You have equipped me with. Help me to have confidence to move forward in faith because of who You are, not because of who I am. Pick me Lord! In Jesus' Name, Amen." (Tracie Miles, Encouragement for Today)

So now I am convinced I am suppose to DO something, just waiting on another email to clear that something up (which I guess would be the definition of procrastination - 'waiting'). Any helpful suggestions would be great!!

In the meantime - step out in faith yourself by starting small. Under the age of 18 to be exact. Start by letting God 'pick you' to be part of the bigger picture and touch the heart of a little child. Help to make that one less baby to die before the age of 5. One less child to grow up without an education. One less mouth for a struggling family to have to feed. Sponsor now.

Even in this economy, Compassion's sponsorships have still increased when compared to last year. That IS the hand of God at work. He loves these children - be the hands of Jesus and help to show that love, one child at a time. Don't procrastinate...... that's my job.

Year To Date PAID SPONSORSHIPS:

This time 2008 = 6,924

Current 2009 = 8,706