The random thoughts of a mama bear fighting to make her family whole in 2012, and the bread crumbs since
Thursday, December 16, 2010
A child-like faith
So the other day I got schooled by my son. And it really makes me proud that he called me out.
But first things first - I need to announce that if you haven't noticed the side thermometer - we MET our goal of $5630 for our referral fee!! In little increments of $10-$30 from Olivia's store!! And a few sweet donations to boot.
A referral fee is the last amount of money you pay to 'seal the deal' when you get your baby's photo and history - THE CALL. The money helps pay court costs, medical costs, and everyday orphanage care for our child.
Anyway, you get THE CALL and then have to return your acceptance papers and $5630 in just a few days. So to have this money in the bank thrills me.
So when the boys found out that a holiday market at their school had pushed us to $5628 they were so excited and wanted to know - "NOW can we go get her!". Well no, not now. We still have to wait til we're number one and then we'll be able to give them the money to accept her. (which by the way, we are now #12, I think)
To which Seth asked, "so then how much more money do we need?"
Me: "Well, we need a minimum of about $10,000. And that's just for me and your daddy to go on the first trip and me on the second."
Him: (in a huff) "so you're just hoping that you'll get enough money for you and dad to go!!"
Me: "It's not really hoping Seth. I have faith that God will provide enough for us to go."
Him: (now mad) "so you don't have enough faith that God will give us enough money for us all to go see her! You should have enough faith that he can give enough for us all to go!!!"
To which I had to give it to him - yes - I would love for my kids to be able to go with us to meet their sister, play with the children at the orphanages, see poverty first-hand, and hopefully birth in them a desire and love for God's children who are so often forgotten. I would love for them to go on this trip so that they will never forget.
But no - I guess I don't have the faith that God would provide for those tickets too. Cause that's a lot of money. And He's already done so much for us. How much more can I ask Him for??
However, as I told Tony - what lesson will I be teaching Seth if I push him to dream small? Isn't this entire adoption a huge dream to begin with? And what if he really does have God telling his little heart that he will go on this trip? And I tell him he needs to just ignore that?
So the question is now - do we take that big leap of faith and tell him "come on buddy, let's go get that passport..." or do we sit back and wait to see if God moves on that front too?
Being an adult stinks. I wish I had the child-like version of this faith journey all the time..
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Bloggy Christmas Cookie Exchange
My adoption buddy at "My Crazy Adoption" just started her 1st annual Bloggy Christmas Cookie Exchange and hey, anything that does not involve me putting any brain cells into a real post, but keeps my peeps coming back to visit every once in a while - I can go for.
So here is the simple, but glorious, chocolatey cookie dessert that I promise you will thank me for. Cause every time I make it, everyone loves it and I get the credit, although my friend Amy actually shared the recipe with me. So go ahead, make it simple and then rake in the compliments for the easiest taste of Heaven ever:
Cookie Dough Heaven:
1 large refrigerated choc. chip cookie dough roll (or two regular size)
1 cream cheese (or low-fat version)
1 egg
3/4 cup sugar
Preheat oven to 350. Press 1/2 of the dough down in a 9X13 pan until covers most of bottom. Mix cheese, egg, and sugar and spread over the top of the dough. Drop crumbles of the remaining dough all over top. (it wont cover it all, that's fine). Bake around 30 min or until cookies on top are beginning to brown. Best when served room temp.
And.... as an added bonus - my famous homemade chocolate chip cookie recipe -
A few years back, I had a cute little questionnaire where I asked the boys questions about their mom. What do you love most about your mom? She makes us cookies. What does your mom do best? make cookies. What is your favorite thing that your mom cooks? Her cookies.
Mind you, they were interviewed separately. So I'm thinking that a little extra effort for the homemade variety has scored me a few brownie points. However, after typing the above, I'm preeetty sure that the first lady now has me on her hit list and will be contacting DSS to report my poor parenting - as everyone knows, we should not show our love through our food.
Home-Made Choc. Chip Cookies:
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1 egg
2 1/4 cups a.p. flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1-2 cups semi-sweet choc chips (1 if you want to taste the cookie, 2 if you are a chocolate addict like me)
Preheat to 375. Mix sugars, butter, and egg. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt. Batter will be stiff. Stir in chips.
Drop by rounded tablespoons onto baking clay, 2 inches apart. Bake 8-10 minutes.
**to me, the secret to a perfect cookie is the baking clay. It allows the heat to go through the cookie instead of charring the bottom or having hard bottom, soft top cookies. It's just perfect - thank you Pampered Chef...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Our Father Came
Ernest and Ronel Parker then slept 9 days on a hard Embassy floor - waiting to come home to their family. With disaster and death all around them - the son clung to his father, his hero father, asking "we go now?"
On his mother Debra's blog, she wrote of the day Ernest left for Haiti: "He did not have an ounce of fear in his body. He was more determined than I may have ever seen him before. The look in his eye was intense and his heart was beating just a bit faster. He was going to fight for his son. He did not care where he would sleep. He did not care what he would eat. He was not scared of what danger there could be. Nothing would stop him. A father's love was the drive behind the strength."
A Father's Love...... this time of year, as we celebrate the season - we see twinkling lights, wrapped gifts, and we picture the sweet, sweet picture of an infant in a manger.
And while that story should be celebrated, I think just as much, we need to focus on the impact of that sweet child. That it was not the birth of the babe that impacts us, but the arms of the Father coming to bring us home to our family.He did not care what he would eat. He did not care where he would sleep. He was not afraid of the dangers that he might face. He was coming to bring his children home.
But still, do we realize? Our world is no less broken than Haiti still is today. Broken by the sins of greed and hatred. Littered with the trash of immorality and perversion. Full of plague and pestilance, growing day by day. Spiritual death is all around us and increases every day.
And yet our father came to suffer through those days to bring us home.
And how often do we, instead, of being comforted in his arms, tell him, "just a moment, I need to stay outside and play in this rubble."
How often do we, instead of running and yelling from the roof-tops - "Our father is here to take us home, he will take all who come to him!!" Do we instead keep his gift to ourselves as we are ashamed of our status as his children.
How often do we, instead of talking to him and loving him, do we instead, stay pent up in our own rooms until Sunday, when we might emerge to tell him hello and then go back to our own cares?
Christ did not come to be a babe in the manger. Christ came to bring us home. To rescue us.
And he did not come to have us sing quick 'hello', but to worship him for the gift of our adoption. And to tell the world of his love. And to bring others into his arms and out of the destruction. To show love to those that have no one else to help them.
Spiritual death is all around. And you never know when the walls of judgement will fall down on top of you. When the plague of sin will destroy your joy, your health, and your life. Only through Christ can you have the peace that no matter how hard this world is, no matter how bad you may have once been, you are still loved, and it will be alright. And that he is still here, ever present, always watching - and doing miracles in the lives of his children. He is alive and active.
Do you know who your Father is? Because over 2000 years ago, he came so that he could take you home. All you have to do is run to his arms.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
3 'Mounth' DTE
Monday, November 29, 2010
It all comes back to chocolate or Charlie Brown
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I can't say I've ever had Egg Nog but just the thought of drinking eggs kinda makes me throw up a little in my mouth. You can also hold the hot chocolate. In the way of coffee, I'm in chocolatey heaven with just enough Mint Chocolate Truffle to turn the color from black to a beautiful caramel. A little coffee with my cream please. (with a Lactate on the side) And I have to say I am committing adultery on my old love affair with Peppermint Mocha. But Mr. Truffle now has my heart.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa declines to wrap the Wages gifts. Primarily because Santa is a cheap scape who buys most of her gifts from consignment sales. So if they are never wrapped but always open, one can always pass good-as-new as brand-spankin-new. It's just easier on the elves all the way around. Cuts down on production costs.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? white. white. white. On the tree, cause I love to lay on the couch, take a lactate, drink a mug full of mint flavored cream, and watch the stars twinkle. Stars just don't twinkle in red and green, it just ain't right. And that goes for outside icicles as well. If I saw ice hanging from my roof in shades of red, I would be wondering what nice Southerner shot Rudolf on my rooftop. It just ain't right..
4. Do you hang mistletoe? There is no need. We needed medical intervention to stop this baby producing mill.
5. When do you put your decorations up? The weekend after Thanksgiving. Although at the moment half opened boxes are littered all around my house as my children have decided that their mother is either too lazy or too slow to actually get the house decorated. So the children's rooms are decked the halled. The rest of my house, not so much. Unless you count two empty Christmas tree boxes in front of my fireplace and bubble wrap sprinkled all around.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? turkey stuffing. Yummmmm. Why we only make it 2 times a year is beyond me?
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? making the rounds at all the grandparent's houses and being given MnMs and chocolate covered cherries. Due to divorce and healthy grandparents, we were able to know 3 sets of grandparents and 3 sets of great-grandparents. That's a lot of MnMs to be had.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I thought I had things figured out in 4th grade until we were in the middle of building a house, living off of hot dogs and bologna sandwiches. When I got a new bike from Santa - I KNEW he had to be real cause that bike must have costed at least $500!! (says the 4th grader with no concept of money)
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Not normally. Although I've picked up the tradition of giving the kids p.j.'s on Christmas Eve. Just cause I like cute Christmas morning pictures vs. pics of my scrawny boys hanging out of hand-me-down boxers.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? I've given each kid's room it's own tree to reduce all child interaction with my piece of art. Hey, don't judge me. I can smile at their Charlie Brown trees and smile at my carefully spaced holiday masterpiece.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Loved it as it makes it's way to the Carolinas so infrequently that it is awesome to see how much joy my kids get out of a few stray flakes. Even better, last year's South Carolina blizzard came in one night, was enough to make snow men out of - and was gone by the next afternoon when the kids were playing in short sleeves. It's like a drive thru version of Frosty the snowman.
12. Can you ice skate? Coordination is not my strong suit. If you count standing up and then skidding on your rear, yes - I can skate. Just not on my feet.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? a couple years back Tony gave me a charcoal portrait of Seth drawn by our artist friend Noah. He was about 3 and it made me cry. First present to ever make me cry but I loved it.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? the babe in a manger that grew up to be my Daddy. The answer is always Jesus.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? do I have to choose just one? Although you can't go wrong with anything chocolate - I love the icebox fruit cake rolls my mom and I make. It's fruit cake with no cake involved, but lots of powdered sugar, graham crackers, and cherries.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? giving my kids ornaments every year that reflect their interests. They could care less, but I love doing it. And they love their personalized, self-decorated Charlie Brown trees.
17. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Mercy Me's version of Angels we have Heard on High. It's a song headache all season long.
18. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? could really care less. Unless they are ground and mixed with chocolate. Chocolate makes everything happy.
19. Favorite Christmas Show? Charlie Brown's Christmas. His tree makes me smile. Can ya tell??
Your turn!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
An infestation!!!!!
They were everywhere.
In my jean drawers...
In my p.j. drawer....
Even on my bathroom ceiling....
And a week later, they haven't moved at all....
And why do I allow these miniature critters to continue to greet me every morning??
Because it cracks me up that such a plot could have been orchastrated by such a sweet little thing as this.... it just isn't possible.....
Or such an angelic face as this.... no way would HE have planned such an attack...
Angels. My little angels. That crack me up.
Although I may need to take down the bathroom mice as visitors may not find it as funny as I do that rodents are stuck to my ceiling. Real or not.
(And Braeden's black and blue forehead and cheek - Seth hit him with the dog lead. By accident. Because he was laying on the ground. And when I called Tony to tell him that we had just narrowly avoided another ER visit -- he immediately asked "what did Braeden do???" How did he know??)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The terrible 2's strikes again
I'm talkin about ME.
You know, the one who has faith God will provide for this adoption..
until the due dates for payments loom near.
You know, the one who has faith that God has the perfect daughter destined for our family..
until I get down that it is taking so long.
You know, the one who has faith that God loves me..
until bad things happen.
Bad things like lay-offs. Again. The third time in the last year. Unless I've lost count, which is possible.
Last time was the week before Christmas. At least this time we had a month to go...
Last time I had a mini temper tantrum. O.k., a big, full-out, screaming-stamping-my-feet temper tantrum.
This time I had a mini melt down. O.k., a stay-in-my-pajamas-and-avoid-all-conversation-as-I-sit-in-a-corner-and-pout temper tantrum.
Last time, God provided another job in two days. And I chastised myself for my lack of faith. I even wrote a blog about how stupid I had been.
This time, God provided another job in three days. And so I am now chastising myself for my lack of faith. And writing a blog about it. So I can once again look back later at how immature my Christian walk can be.
We had been praying for him to get a better job where he could move up and be successful enough for me to scale back my hours more when the baby gets here. His last job was quickly showing itself to be a dead end. A big, fat dead end where a boss gives you no work to do, you beg for work to do, and he assures you it will come, not to worry about loosing your job. And then he lays you off the next morning.
This job has an exciting boss who is pumped about his partnership and is planning on growing and succeeding together. Kind of like we had been praying for. And silly me for worrying about God taking away his crappy job. And having a temper tantrum. And acting like a two-year old. You would think I would learn.
Another job in three days in a bad economy. It's kind of like He has a big plan which is better than mine isn't it?? You would think I would learn....
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What would you do?
Sunday was National Orphan Sunday. I never would have known that until this year. Orphan awareness was preached in pulpits across the country. And yet, before this past year, I was so unaware. If it isn't on the news, it didn't affect me. If it isn't on the radio, it didn't affect me. If it isn't front and forefront in your daily life - I'm guessing it doesn't affect you either.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the need for new cleats, the need for a winter jacket, the need for another box of cereal, another gallon of milk. We have so much that we focus on that our focus becomes completely inward - with the outside world as only a shadow of reality.
Until that reality drops on your doorstep, and then it affects you.
Lately we have had parents who are visiting their children in Ethiopia reporting back about the conditions of the orphanages there. We all knew they weren't the most clean places. Happy places. Places where children are well fed and loved. We knew that. But to hear first-hand descriptions of where my daughter, may, at this moment be sleeping --- it brought me to tears several weeks ago - and it brings me to tears again today.
From another AWAA parent's blog:
"Tuesday was another one of those highly emotional days. Wow. We started off early in the morning to visit two orphanages. The first one was right down the street from our guest house, and when we got there, we realized that these were the kids we hear singing every morning!! Boy did this place grab a hold of us. We walked in to dozens of older children all sitting in a line outside. Then we went to the toddler room. As soon as I picked up the first child, I discovered that they weren’t wearing diapers and just about every one of them was wet. Their beds were soaked. Some didn’t even have mattresses because they were laying out in the sun to dry. One little boy was so scared when we came that he ran to a corner and faced the wall to be avoided. Then we visited the infant room where we saw a similar situation. No diapers, wet mattresses, 3 to 4 babies to a crib. It was heart breaking. One of the families brought diapers to donate, so the ladies immediately started putting diapers on the kids, covering mattresses with plastic and sheets, and holding each of those babies. I don’t tell you about these conditions to speak badly of the orphanage. The truth is, it’s all they have. I picked up the first baby I saw in the room, and she clung to me for dear life, crying if I tried to put her down. When I could calm her down to put on a diaper, her entire bottom was blistered. We stood crowded in that tiny room as long as our guide would allow us to stay. There were moments when I thought about all the germs, infections, and rashes I was touching, but we all decided it was more important for these children to be visited and loved than for us to get dirty. B and I also spent some time outside with the older kids and they would beg us to sit next to them in their line. When we did, they’d weave their arms through ours and hang on tight to ensure we wouldn’t get up. Some would cry if you didn’t sit by them, some would search our pockets, and one even snatched our camera. An older girl walked down the line with an old rag wiping the tears and snot from their faces all on the same spot. Needless to say, our group gave bins and bins of donations to this particular orphanage. To those who donated from home, THANK YOU! Pictures weren’t allowed, but I just wish you could see with your own eyes how needed this stuff was. You cared for the least of these on Tuesday through your generosity."
And this orphanage is, thankfully, being helped by those visiting parents. Who bought those mattresses. Who bought the plastic sheeting to wrap them. Who bought the diapers to put on those babies. And yet - the need is still so great.
And yet - this is only one orphanage in Ethiopia. In the world. That is 'lucky' enough to have a relationship with an agency which can help to support them and improve their conditions. What about the other hundreds of orphanages in Ethiopia? In the world? What about those orphans?
Often times when asked why we are adopting from Ethiopia - Tony has told them - 'if your child was sick, and hungry, and a million miles away. Wouldn't you do everything within your power to bring her home to you?'
So before this post leaves your mind and doesn't affect you at all anymore - could you take a moment, in this, National Adoption Awareness Month, to wonder what you, as one person, could do? You may not think you have room for another child. Or maybe you are too old. Or maybe you aren't called to adopt, or foster.
But you could sponsor an orphan, with Compassion International.
But you could research the possibility of adoption - our agency - America World Adoption.
But you could donate to families who are trying to do everything within their power to bring their children home. With it made easier by lists of families with items for sale for Christmas -
Shopping with a Purpose
One Stop Adoption Shop
Home for Christmas
You could do anything. As long as you do something.
Proverbs 24:12
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Give me a Two!!!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Numbers speak for themselves
Average giving of American church goers (the Christians.... you know.... the ones given the mandate to "go unto all nations" and "feed my sheep" and "take care of the widows and orphans":
- In 2005, only 5% of American Christians tithed - an average of 2.58% of their income.
- In 1933 at the height of the Great Depression, Christians gave an average of 3.3%
- Of that tithe going into the American church - 98% goes back into those churches and communities, with only 2% going out into the world to fulfill Christ's commandments.
goes to the world's poor, widows, and orphans.
That's about 6 cents per day from you and I.
BUT - we NEED that money right?? It's a recession and we all are on hard times ---
For the next big numbers, just a reminder - a billion is this big: 1,000,000,000.
$705,000,000,000
Amount American teenagers spend, ages 12-17 -
$179,000,000,000
Amount Americans spend on their pets -
$31,000,000,000
TOTAL US-government foreign assistance budget -
$39.5 billion
More numbers -
Cost to eliminate the most extreme poverty - $168 billion
Cost to bring universal primary education for children - $6 billion
Cost to bring clean water to most of the world's poor - $9 billion
Cost to bring basic health and nutrition for everyone in the world - $13 billion
Number of orphans worldwide today - 165 million.
Number of children (2006) waiting in US foster care to be adopted - 126,967
Number of children (2006) adopted domestically - 50,379
Number of children (2009) adopted internationally - 12,782
- and ourselves -
- Richard Stearnes "Hole in our Gospel"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Paper Pregnancy month #2
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
One month (paper) pregnant!!!
explanation: all paperwork has been in the waiting line for our little girl, or 'Dossier To Ethiopia' for one month. One month down and hopefully only 5-8 more to go before we see her sweet face on our computer screen!
At 1 month DTE (as of August 27th), we were #23 in line for a baby girl. We fell down a spot since someone announced their date as prior to ours that we didn't know about. There really hasn't been much movement this past month. BUT, the courts in Ethiopia have been closed for 2 months due to the inability for witnesses/families to travel due to the rainy season and flooded roads. BUT, courts have officially re-opened as of yesterday! So hoping the ball gets rolling on those new referrals soon and we start movin' on up that list of waiting parents!
To celebrate this momentous occasion, we did as all pregnant families do -- we stocked up on ice cream (hold the pickles). I had read this suggestion on another blog as a way to celebrate DTE Birthdays and might I say, it felt like a stroke of genius to me. Every month they shared a container of a different flavor of Ben & Jerry's. Who am I to turn down an opportunity to eat outrageously over-priced ice cream? And let me tell ya, 5 people in one family = one itty bitty cup of Ben & Jerry's when shared..
So the flavor of 1 month DTE, chosen by the chilluns, was officially
Which was o.k., but I'm hoping future month selections will trump. A little caramel just makes everything a little more happy. Also hoping that the months of ice cream sharing are few, cause I really would like to still fit in my pre-paper-pregnancy jeans when this is all over and done..
Thursday, September 16, 2010
But I prayed to Jesus..
My angelic 4 year old has now turned into a 30 something pound 16 year old. Whippee.
So now cue the pickiness that seems to go along with royalty; add one mama who's job it is to 'fix' said finickiness at the dinner table; and you get something very akin to World War II.
So while I love to cook meals that are at least somewhat healthy, my daughter has now decided that she would much rather just go to McDonald's thank-you-very-much. And here comes the part where my long time rule of "you eat what I cook or you just choose not to eat" vs. "I am the tiny princess of this home and you will cater to me" come into conflict.
Now mind you, I am a professional. Trained to deal with food issues, sensory issues, behavioral feeding problems. But trained to stand-off with a 4 year old who has decided she doesn't like anything with hints of tomatoes, speckles of green herbs, or slivers of onions - this has been testing my skills.
After a few meals of her picking around her food and just complaining, she has now moved on up to the heavy-weight round with the induced gagging. Usually with a bite of food in her mouth (that Tony has made her try). And she sits beside me. Cue mother induced gagging.
And I am now at the point of my story - our prayers. Heaven help us.
The other night I had made a homemade lasagna. And not the mommy-love kind with spinach but the daddy-love kind with sausage sauce and meat. Not my favorite but sometimes a girl just feels like being generous. Anyway, first, princess laments the minuscule onion she finds, then the specks of green basil, and then pretty much just rejects the whole lot and can't even find redemption in a plain ole noodle.
The king of the house orders said princess to make a choice, "eat your dinner or go to bed". And then goes to the ballpark. Thanks. Hand down a sentence then leave it up to me to do your dirty work. So after 30 minutes of sitting at the cleared table with only her plate of untried lasagna in front of her, I am working at the computer with my back to her refusing to listen to the whining about how awful it is. "Not listening to you... nah, nah, nah, nah."
Until - she starts gagging. To which I tell her I KNOW it isn't that bad. Nothing is in it to make her sick and she needs to quit. She then tells me, in the midst of tears running down her face, with complete sincerity...
"but I pwayed to Jesus like Bwaeden did that I wouldn't get sick.... but it didnnnnnn't woooook"
Explanation - Braeden had prayed to Jesus that his upset tummy would feel better in the morning. However, Jesus doesn't seem to respond as well to little girls gagging on lasagna. Lesson learned. Maybe he likes Italian??
Friday, September 10, 2010
Destined for Greatness
My middle son must be destined for greatness. He will be a missionary. A pastor. The chairman of a major children's charity. Something.
Why??
Because he has had a fish hook in his eye, which #1 didn't hit his eyeball, and #2 fell out miraculously after a prayer for Jesus to help.
and
Because he fell from the monkey bars, passed out, went blue, was unresponsive. We were sure he had broken his neck. 30 minutes later he was running around the emergency room unscathed.
and
Has had his pointer finger swell up to about three times it's size. It was MRSA infected. And it didn't fall off, as it looked like it would.
and now
Because he fell in a yellow jackets nest this past weekend. Stepped right in this hole. And didn't get stung a single time.
God has His eye on him. Destined for greatness I tell you. And as long as that doesn't involve community organizing or elections - I will be very thrilled about that....
(this picture cracks me up every time I look at it. This is a photo this poor Asian couple took during their visit at Biltmore. Little man thought that he should be remembered for posterity's sake obviously. I just happen to quickly get a shot of his posing for them too. Little cheeser.)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My other son's mother
We arrived home from a great Labor Day weekend to the following letter from my little boy Amanuel in Ethiopia. "My mother is sick so she can not fulfill any job. My sister and I go to our grandparent. Please pray for my mother to be healthy and then she can grow me and my sister."
This news would not be so upsetting except that Amanuel's father passed away 5 years ago. Widows in Ethiopia often struggle to provide for their children, but through our sponsorship and the help of Compassion, his mother had been able to start a business to provide for her children. So for her not to be able to take care of her children, much less work, worries me greatly. I do not know what his father died of. I just know that I love this child, I loved his mother, and as of two years ago when we met, she was not a Christian.
I pray things have changed. I pray that my little boy will not be one of the millions of orphans in Ethiopia every year due to AIDS. I pray that his mother will recover from whatever illness she has so that the Compassion church project will have more time to minister to her both emotionally and spiritually.
Again, these children are not just faces on a packet. They have names, they have needs, and they have the love of God above - who has asked us to love them too. Sometimes it is easy to live our happy and privileged life in America and chalk the pain, hunger, and sickness of the third world up to just a sad story we occasionally hear about on the news. And sometimes that pain smacks us in the face and wakes us up to the real world. Would you please pray for Amanuel's mother with me?
And more importantly, is God calling you to reach out to a real child, in a real relationship, and be the hands of Christ to them? There are so many children like Amanuel who are more than just statistics. To be a missionary does not require you moving to another continent. Will you?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
For: YOU From: Africa
Why still fundraising?????
Now that we have submitted our dossier and finished that stage of our adoption (think first semester of pregnancy - the throw up, nauseous, tired part) - we are on to the 'Honeymoon' portion where we wait months and months until our name is farther up the list - and then the third trimester, the heartburn and stay-up-all-night portion, of this paper pregnancy commences! In the meantime, our goal is to raise the money needed to accept the referral of our little girl. When we get her picture, information, name - we will have 2 days to send in our acceptance paperwork and $5500. This money pays for her care in the orphanage and the remainder of our agency fees. A month to two months later, we hope to have a court date assigned and will have to travel to Ethiopia to the tune of about $5-6,000. And that's just for Tony and I. We would love to take the kids on that trip but are leaving it up to God as far as funding goes. Thank you so much!!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Dumpster Diven'
In an attempt to journal the crazy things my kids do, I couldn't leave this nugget of information out as I'm sure my son will greatly appreciate my sharing when he is trying to get a date or get into a good college.
He's an addict. And I'm o.k. with that (most of the time). My son is a dumpster diver. There. I said it. He loves to go with his Daddy to the county dump on Saturday to "hunt for treasure". And he's proud of it.
Since I'm not a dumpster diver myself, as I understand it, there is a special "Treasure Dumpster" where he finds his stash. He's come home with an ambulance, goggles you "can see race cars in!!!", barely used bikes, which his Daddy then changes out a seat on or replaces a tire tube in - and they're good as new. They have then given these bikes to neighborhood kids that don't have bikes, or taken them to Goodwill. Tony's highlights of the year were a real barber's chair to cut the kid's hair, and a good as new pitching machine for the ball team. Like son, like Daddy.
Now that I have completely grossed you out that we allow our son to bring home treasures from the county dump, (and most likely secured it that you wont let your kids play with my kid's toys anymore..) let me get to the point...
We Americans throw away half a pizza un-eaten, left-overs that we 'just don't feel like eating again tomorrow', shoes that were 'so old I had them in high school'. And yet still, we often are able to say, without a hint of sarcasm, that we can't afford to help out children in poverty. It amazes me. Even in a recession/depression, as we tighten our belts and watch our money more carefully, we still have more than we need. But maybe not all that we want.
In a personal reference letter a great friend wrote for me for my adoption packet, he wrote that I was "passionate for social justice." And that made me cringe. Social justice today has come to mean Michelle Obama's pie explanation - we need to take some of your slice of pie to give to someone else who doesn't have as much pie. And while that imagery fits - it is still wrong.
Today's social justice in America is - the government taking what they think is your excess, and (wastefully spending) on those that don't have an excess. And that, to me - is not justice, that's stealing.
But how much good could we do if instead of being forced to give, our wages stolen out of our hand and given to another - that we would be known as a Christian society that instead just gives. To hang on to our excess, to turn our eyes from those in need because we never know when we may need that extra money, is not Christlike. That's more like greed.
Because even if my husband is laid off again, even if my car is repo-ed, even if we have our house fore-closed on and have to rent a smaller place - we still have more than we need. And that's painful to realize.
So my little son - we are so, so blessed that you can find your treasures at the dump. That you can smile over a new toy. We are so, so blessed that our children have more than they need. That they have more than one meal a day and it does not come from a garbage pile. Just something to think about in these tough economic times.
As we are able to bring gently used items home to our clean home, soak them down with Lysol and anti-bacterial wipes --- there are thousands of children around the world who don't have that luxury. Their treasures are not used bikes, or push toys - but scraps of food. Food that is needed just to make it to the next day. To another day of scavenging on the streets, or the city dump. This is the images that have been on my mind lately - a place in the very city I visited in Africa. I place that I didn't know about until recently. A place that many of the orphans that come into agency placement may come from.
"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12
What is it that God would have you to do with that which he has given you?
Help others to have clean water Sponsor a child in another country give to a poor village help mother's and babies in need provide help for street orphans give a barefoot child a pair of shoes
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
DTE!!!
Current official wait time for a baby girl is DTE + 7-11 months. So early next year we may be seeing Olivia and finding out more about her. (although recent families have been receiving their referrals in approx 6 mos.) But no getting my hopes up!
We are so excited! So excited that I bit down on a granola bar, chipped half a molar off, and now have to drop everything for a dentist appt. ( I have a dental phobia... truly) Away from me Satan!! Your not stealing my joy today, I am stoked!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Two words
TWO MORE WORDS:
ETHIOPIA BOUND!!!!!!! (by way of Virginia & DC)
that my friends, would be one piece of paper that was prayed and waited for (and not patiently I may add) for 117 days. And is now with the other 14,568 pages of our dossier, in triplicate, on it's way to be proofed in Virginia at AWAA - then to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington for authentication - and then to Ethiopia! Hallelujah!!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I want different kids
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Blog Rewind : CSP Projects
Luke 18:16 "But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."
**90% of Child Survival Project babies meet their developmental milestones on time. **At the first CSP project we toured, over 1000 mothers stood in line for the available 50 slots. **Why not help more? Because we need you to help first. Matthew 25: 34-36,40 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'... "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Counting the cost
I told them adoption was hard, WAY hard.
I told them adoption was stressful, WAY stressful.
And I told them adoption was expensive, VERY expensive.
I also told them that were it not for God's leading, I probably would have given up a long time ago.
(Well aren't I just the warrior for Christ that I thought I was 12 months ago??)
Truth is - while it is hard, stressful, expensive, and about 26 other negatives I could think of to describe my feelings and experiences - it isn't all about me anyway....
While the reality of the fact that having 4 kids will probably nix any plans for neat vacations like New York City, cruise ships, trips to Jamaica, etc. --- will sacrificing those be worth the cost of feeding / clothing / loving another?
While the reality of the fact that having kids share rooms, closets, and clothes will make things a little more cramped and uncomfortable - will my children sacrificing that privacy be worth them being able to see what the love of Christ is capable of? To grow up with a heart of compassion?
While the reality of the fact that saving for adoption means less money for eating out at nice restaurants, less money to buy new tennis shoes we may want, less money to have to put my little girl in a dance class or little boy in gymnastics - at the end of the day, will those things be missed or even remembered? Will my lack of a gym membership ruin my life completely? Will we miss not being able to go out to the theaters and settling for $1 RedBox movies instead? Will my lack of an iPhone damage my ability to parent a child who has come from nothing?
No -- our sacrifices aren't really even sacrifices when you sit down and list them out. Minor inconveniences maybe. Small disappointments that last a day or week, perhaps. But will my children, ANY of them, truly miss any aspect of their childhood because of the cost of answering God's call to help the 'least of these'?
No -- I think it is when we, as the world's elite, choose those little pleasures that add up, and leave no scraps to throw to the poor or needy; innocently ignoring these little ones because we are too engrossed in our own lives to see, that there is a cost...
Not everyone is meant to adopt. Not everyone is meant to travel to a third world country. I'm just as guilty as the next at not doing enough. But if you are a Christian, if you claim Christ as your own - has it cost you anything? Or is it costing them?
"Did not he who made me in the womb make them?
Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?
If I have denied the desires of the poor
or let the eyes of the widow grow weary,
if I have kept me bread to myself,
not sharing it with the fatherless .....
Then these also would be sins to be judged,
for I would have been unfaithful to God on high."
**Take time to read this eye-opening post that will be bothering me the rest of this evening. Amy has a much better way with words than I do.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Government Efficiency
On May 6th, DSS sent their approval. So let's be gracious and just have that as the entry date.
On July 4th, we find out our file is being sent to Missouri. 60 days, and they couldn't read a report (which would take less than 20 min. to read) and issue me the form I needed.
On July 7th, CIS in Missouri told Tony that it hadn't been mailed til July 6th. 60 days after they received it. The worker said she would work to 'expedite' our approval. "Call back next week"
On July 14th, CIS in Missouri told Tony that they had located our file but it hadn't been assigned to a caseworker yet. But Charleston had done some work on it and it was farther along than some files in process. "Call back next week" - 68 days.
Today, July 21st, CIS in Missouri told Tony that our file is in the building. You think? It is being worked on. But hasn't been logged in the system yet. "Call back next week". Thanks for expediting it.... It's been 75 days.
Charleston had it 8 weeks.
Missouri had it 3 weeks. That makes 11 weeks. Of me going crazy.
Maximum time to take was 12 weeks? I'm seriously going crazy.
And I have the complete dossier in my nightstand (now hiding from me as I got tired of it teasing me). All without this one piece of paper.
I needed to vent. Thank you for letting me do so. Cause if I go to Missouri and go postal on them, I'm guessing that wont look very good for my chances to be approved to adopt.
**I KNOW this is all in God's timing. I KNOW Olivia will be ready, just when we are ready for her. But it still stinks. The parents that started their adoptions the SAME month I did are starting to get the pictures of their children. And I have 8-10 MONTHS to go AFTER I get that package over to Ethiopia. This just really stinks. If it takes this long to get one piece of paper issued, on the basis of TWO reports already written about us, and in the file - just think how long it will take someone to get a new kidney under new government healthcare.
Rant off. You may go back to your regularly scheduled program now. Please pray for me and my sanity.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
What's her story?
Like the fact of how you can become so engrossed with an adoption in the same way you become obsessed with a pregnancy. Remember?? Searching babycenter.com? Searching baby name sites? Actually reading books about 'What to Expect'? (And then, with Baby #3, just trying to remember when your next o.b. appt. was??? Much less read a book?)
But baby #4 - has me hooked. Reading been-there-done-that blogs. Reading articles. Reading moms-in-waiting blogs. Everything comes back to adoption.
So when I saw a young girl on Compassion's website, a beautiful, 15 year old girl - instead of the usual desire I have to love Compassion kids - this one was different. What if? What if that 15 year old girl was my baby's mother? She was 15. An only child in the home. With a mentally ill mother. And she was above average in high school. Above average.
What about here in the US? What chance would a 15 year old in the same situation have? Yes - she may be an over-achiever but as the only child in a single parent household, much less a mentally ill parent - what are the chances she would graduate? Much less get a college education? Much less live her life to the fullest? She would most likely fall into society's trap - going to work early. Trying to make ends meet. Trying to take care of her mother. But with our nation's package of benefits, food stamps, housing help, disability payments?
Now imagine that same, beautiful, over-achieving child in Africa. Without Compassion - where would she be? What would that child, CHILD, have to do - to make ends meet? Education would be out of the question. A real job would be out of the question. A real life --- or a life filled with heart-ache, most likely abuse, most likely letting her body be used, just to scrape together the money needed to take care of herself and her mother. And then what if that abuse led to an unplanned pregnancy, and possibly a death sentence in an unwanted disease. At 15?
That could be the story of my baby's mother. And as much as I desire to hold my child - never, never would I wish that story on any young woman. Much less a child.
But unfortunately, that is the story of millions of women, no girls, worldwide. Adoption doesn't take away those stories, it just tries to help pick up some of the pieces from those broken dreams. And to make a new dream for that little one who would not have stood a chance after being left on the steps of an orphanage. After her young mother can't afford to take care of her and can't bare to watch her child die of starvation or illness. Adoption isn't a fairy tale. It is a small band-aid to try to fix a huge, gaping wound. A wound of 147 million children as we speak.
But back to that 15 year old Gebreloa. SHE is in Compassion's program. Her schooling provided for. Her health monitored. Her mental wellness and social needs met. The love of Christ introduced to her. So in hope - I pray - that that 15 year old will be a success. Because, with Compassion, I have seen many success stories first hand.
But I also know - what could that above-average 15 year old accomplish with someone beside her? Cheering her on? Encouraging her to stay in school? To better herself for the sake of herself and her mother? Praying for her? Helping to lead her to the strong arms of Christ?
Her story could be so much different. And only someone like you could help write that story. Would you? Gebreola Shiferaw - I'm pleading for someone to sponsor her. She is only one child. But one child that deserves to be a child - and not a mother to my baby or someone else's.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
To search for a different child by birthday, gender, sex, or country - Click here. There are thousands of other Gebreola's with stories to be written.