Yes, I do realize my youngest is almost 5.
I'm talkin about ME.
You know, the one who has faith God will provide for this adoption..
until the due dates for payments loom near.
You know, the one who has faith that God has the perfect daughter destined for our family..
until I get down that it is taking so long.
You know, the one who has faith that God loves me..
until bad things happen.
Bad things like lay-offs. Again. The third time in the last year. Unless I've lost count, which is possible.
Last time was the week before Christmas. At least this time we had a month to go...
Last time I had a mini temper tantrum. O.k., a big, full-out, screaming-stamping-my-feet temper tantrum.
This time I had a mini melt down. O.k., a stay-in-my-pajamas-and-avoid-all-conversation-as-I-sit-in-a-corner-and-pout temper tantrum.
Last time, God provided another job in two days. And I chastised myself for my lack of faith. I even wrote a blog about how stupid I had been.
This time, God provided another job in three days. And so I am now chastising myself for my lack of faith. And writing a blog about it. So I can once again look back later at how immature my Christian walk can be.
We had been praying for him to get a better job where he could move up and be successful enough for me to scale back my hours more when the baby gets here. His last job was quickly showing itself to be a dead end. A big, fat dead end where a boss gives you no work to do, you beg for work to do, and he assures you it will come, not to worry about loosing your job. And then he lays you off the next morning.
This job has an exciting boss who is pumped about his partnership and is planning on growing and succeeding together. Kind of like we had been praying for. And silly me for worrying about God taking away his crappy job. And having a temper tantrum. And acting like a two-year old. You would think I would learn.
Another job in three days in a bad economy. It's kind of like He has a big plan which is better than mine isn't it?? You would think I would learn....
3 comments:
GO, GOD!!! Isn't He awesome!? Good thing He forgives our moments of unbelief, huh!?!? A job in three days, and a job that fulfills the desires of your heart! YAY, GOD!!! Enjoy.........
Oh, Tracy, you are too funny....reminds me of all of us when we can't see, but JESUS knows just what the next step is....
We are facing walking by Faith now to, not with the job thing, but with the direction He is or is not moving us in....He is Faithful in ALL things...
Will be praying for ya girl....
Love ya
I had a question about Tony's 'perfect job' from last year -- the bad thing about being a salesman in a recession, layoffs are common. With his job from last year, the company was being mismanaged and was bought out - and he lost all salary, car allowance, and mileage. So vs. keeping a commission-only job, he chose to move on to his last job, the one that hired him with no work for him to do.
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