Monday, December 22, 2008

Torture - Guantanemo style

I have literally figured out how the military can break those pesky prisoners - fix their eyesight. On Friday I underwent PRK laser surgery. Let me preface by saying it was soooo sweet as a Christmas gift to fix my "legally blind" vision. No kidding. Without my contacts I walk into walls and run over small children. And I had so many people tell me how great it would be and how easy it was. Lasix that is. You know, where the procedure takes all of 2 min., you sleep through one day, and are back to work the next?? So easy. But I couldn't have lasix because I am again, legally blind. So on to PRK, without getting graphic on you - it takes a lot longer than 2 min. It involves ridding your eye of that pesky layer of cells that cover it. (Think tiny hockey stick to 'clean' your eye - get the picture?) Then lots and lots of water squirted over your eye repeatedly. Pretty sure that is what the definition of water-boarding is. Then about 2 min. of laser therapy. And you are cured. Or in my case, not. So then you drug yourself into oblivion on pain meds until your eyes have a chance to heal and regrow those cells. So for the last 3 days I would wake briefly for meds and to the feeling of staring straight into the sun. So today, day 4, for the first time, I can see a blurry computer screen and open my eyes without cringing. So fix the prisoners' eyes I say - that'll break em. I am 99% positive that Osama bin Ladan will be located within a week of surgery. And as a plus, it will probably throw those silly liberals a curveball, seeing as how we Southerners are so generous and all.

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