Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Dec. 2006 - Do as I say, Not as I do??


So at the ripe old age of 31, I now feel the need to spread the wisdom: with other moms, my poor little sister (who has had to put up with my advice for too many long years), and with complete strangers. I'm a complete work in progress and my family needs orange cones up to warn others of the construction going on - but here it is. Don't sweat the small stuff. T and I have had so many people comment on our marriage. 1) how close we are and 2) how I let him get by with so much (he knows it!) The secret is, it just isn't worth living your life fighting about if the trash has been taken out or if someone forgot to pay the light bill. While those things are important in day to day life - they shouldn't be the basis of whether you end the day in a shouting match or not. Let those little nuances go right over your head because it's so much easier to say "oh well" and roll your eyes than to hold on to all that baggage. It amazes us the number of old friends we have that have either cheated, been cheated on, or didn't make it. While we would like to credit each other with our relationship, I know it still boils down to having a Christ-centered marriage. T is accountable knowing that he HAS to put me above all others. If not, he has a Higher Power to answer to later on. He doesn't degrade me or my mothering, he constantly shows his love for me in front of our children, and he doesn't bad mouth me to others. In the same way, I HAVE to make him the head of the household. I know that when it comes to a big decision like a new job, moving, or buying a new car - that while I give my opinion, it is still his job to step up to the plate and make the decision that is best for our home and our family. (And I am so lucky that he doesn't abuse that privilege.) I can't stand to be around other women who constantly talk negative about their husbands - tell your husband, not your girlfriends!

Now, life hasn't been all chocolate and roses. We have had some very bumpy years with the in-laws, with job changes (too many to count), and with schooling and moving. But through it all, I never doubted that I was first in his life. So for that reason, I let him have fun with his friends, I entertain, I cook great meals, and I love my husband. In return, he lets me have my girls' nights, my lone trips shopping, and my trips home for my "mom" fix. Because we know that at the end of the day - God gave us to each other to enjoy and I'm so grateful to have been given that gift.

1 comment:

Lisa and David said...

After reading your first post, (and that's as far as I got) I can see that you and I are kindred spirits. We too get admired for our marriage (21 years) and have incredible respect for each other not to speak negatively about us to to others. That always makes me feel like, "Well, then do something about it?!" Anyway, I agree with your "About Me" stuff. When the house is quiet and I have time to myself, this is when my mind goes to work. It's my best thinking time and I NEED those to stay sane.