Sunshine and Rainbows

I really think I am going to need medical attention. My rear end is permanently affixed to this office chair. My arms are permanently surged into 90 degree angles for proper keyboard usage. And good thing we finally just paid off my new eyes, or they might be giving me problems too.

Research... Who invented the internet anyway? Didn't they realize that the unlimited amount of information is really sometimes NOT a good thing? I have officially waded knee deep into the world of international adoption. And I'm pretty much blown away by it. What agency to choose? When do you start? When is the money due? Will we have money by then? Do you take the recommendations of people you know, or the vast amount of people on the bulletin boards who hate the agency you are looking at? You have to pick an agency first, and that is a really BIG deal as it determines how efficient, how long, and how ethical your adoption is. (from what I gather). And baby names - that alone has taken up at least 16 hours of today alone!

So here's what I know (or how little I actually know):
- We are choosing Ethiopia because I love the people. They are beautiful inside and out. I can't imagine trying to help a child from any other country.
- Also Ethiopia because there are an estimated 6 MILLION orphans in Ethiopia.
- 1 in 10 children die before their first birthday.
- 1 in 6 children die before their fifth birthday.
- Orphans adopted are usually healthy as health care is so scarce, that orphans with major problems die before being taken to an orphanage. How sad is that?? And that's a good thing?
- It takes from 12-18 months, start to finish, to complete a standard adoption. Many take longer.
- International adoption from Ethiopia is from $20-25,000. Wow. Remind me how big is our God again??

So me, with all my grand feelings, and those Neon signs.. I still struggle with my faith. This just seems too hard. This is a huge hassle. Our lives would be just fine if we keep truckin the way we are. I don't think we could pull it off. BUT.. and that's a big but... what joys and blessings would we be missing out on if we wait? Or cancel all plans all together?

Already today - I called an old friend to tell her about what has been going on. I haven't talked to her in about 6 months. I gave her the low-down on all my signs that God had so nicely erected in my life. And she started to cry. Not a little sniffle, but sobbing. She said that she had just sat down in her kitchen to pray for Satan to leave her alone today. That she was under attack and feeling as if God was so far away. She prayed for Him to show her how big and mighty He was and what good things He could do. And then I called. That is exciting. To know that in a universe so huge, with so many beings walking this Earth, that God has the time to listen to each...and every... prayer. Who knows what the next 1 to 2 years will bring us and what we will be able to witness as long as we stay on the right path.

So why not foster / adopt in America?
- Tony grew up in the foster system. And while I always thought we needed to 'give back' for all the wonderful parents he had that inched him along, one by one, to the wonderful man he is today; he is adamant he could not do it. He could not take in a child to love and then have it return home. Especially when he knows what they are going home to. In his words, he would "go postal".

On the fun side, I also know -
- I hate all the names Tony picks and he hates all the names I pick. I am stuck on finding a name; as a name constitutes a goal. To be able to put a name to a little person makes them so much more real and the intensity to bring them home more motivating.
- the boys came up with a really good one tonight. Braeden suggested it, Seth loved it, and we even have her first piece of memory artwork ala Braeden. I'll have to wait to tell you the name as Tony is away for the weekend having some 'guy' time and it is only fair to let him know what the boys and I have named his 2nd daughter, first.... I guess. But I can share Brae's artwork, that would be fine, right??? (This is what I found on the fridge. No prompting at all. I didn't even know he was making it until he was done.) The front:

And this is the sweet, sweet inside:

So if my little man can see the sunshine and rainbows at the end of this tedious process - shouldn't I try to too??