Saturday, July 25, 2009

A dropped call

You all know the feeling, you're driving down the road talking to your mom or dad on the phone and all of a sudden, you realize you are talking to dead air. Do you just keep on talking or give up and hang up, to try again later?

Now unless you really are just addicted to talking to yourself (which I might be accused of being...hmm) - most of us hang up, as it isn't worth the effort. They aren't listening anyway.

Now let's take prayer - if you are throwing up those prayers, and never get any 2-way conversation, do you just keep on talking? If God truly IS our Heavenly Father. A Father. A Parent. Wouldn't you expect Him to throw in a comment, a question, or some advice. Or do we perceive God as this big guy in the sky with a zillion iPhones to his huge ear just nodding and saying, "uh-huh, uh-huh". If our dad did that, and never offered suggestions or advice, would you keep calling?

My point: with this whole adoption issue. It may be just me and my paranoid and sleep-deprived self, but when I tell others about my little feelings of a whisper in my ear, random emails that are far from random, daily devotionals that fit perfectly for that day - THAT is when I get the little "uhhhh-huh". Like, "o.k., Tracy, you are far reaching on that one. Whispered voices... emails from God.... someone get the padded room ready." And especially because I already have three kids and am praying for a fourth, I think that is enough to declare insanity! Even one of the agencies, when they heard we didn't have any money saved yet (but expected God to provide), gave me the "uh-huh. Well it would be optimal if you saved first before beginning the process." Yeah, optimal. But how much fun would that be??

Is God really our Father? And wouldn't you expect your Father to speak to you? Little Samuel heard the voice of the Lord. David lamented when he was unable to hear the Lord speaking. The prophets spoke daily to their God. God even spoke to the servant girl Hagar, crying in the desert. Are we less loved than those in the old testament? Do we not rank high enough for a random phone call?

Or do we, with every search engine available to us, with 250 channels on a big box, with instant access to talking to anyone in the world through chat or an iPhone - are we content to know the words of God are written in a book on our nightstand and get our most intimate and personal information and advice from other sources. Have our stained glass windows and weekly sermons become enough of a connection to God? We worship, He says thanks, and we leave our relationship at that. Are we content to hold that 'line to Heaven' up to our ear just to voice our grocery list of concerns and praises and then hang up before listening to hear what HE says? I know I was, and still sometimes am. And I know that if I would have ignored that still voice, I never would have been able to see the miracles He is performing in Africa. I never would have signed up to volunteer with Compassion at all without His leading. And how much joy would I have missed out on if I hadn't listened and believed that MY Father is alive and moving? Just to slow down, be still, and listen - sometimes we forget to listen.

So, call me crazy, roll your eyes, but I'm not going to allow a dead connection to be enough. Get the padded room ready: but God told me there is a precious baby girl in Africa waiting for us to come and get her. And I may actually go crazy trying to get there, but I'm not crazy for trying.

Psalm 29:4 The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic.


SiLa said...

Dear Tracy, I know exactly what are you talking about. I am thankful to God that He made that connection between us, because very often I get that uh-huh from my christian fellows and I question my self constantly "Am I wrong? Is that possible that I imagine this leadership through little things?"

But God is God of miracles and He did another miracle again.
He give you those words to strengthen both of us :)

God bless you and your family!

*sorry for my grammar

SiLa said...

Dear Tracy, after I receive your comments on painting "Olive tree above the sea" I felt nudge to make one painting specially for you and your family. And I did. You can see it on my new post. I want to send it to you as a gift, but I don't have your address. Because you don't have e-mail in your profile, I write you here as a comment. It is a small painting and it can be sent in an envelope. Hope you like it. Words written in post are for Olivia.

jamullins said...

Absolutely loved that post!!! We just adopted a precios baby girl from Ethiopia. Hope to read about your adoption journey soon!