Saturday, June 26, 2010

What you may never see

We are finishing up a fantastic week of vacation at my favorite place - the ocean. I've told Tony that I feel God the most when I'm sitting by the surf. Listening to His whispering in the waves, seeing His fingerprints on the sand and in the sun on the ocean.

We're all packed up to start home early in the morning. And I'm up after midnight feeling sorry for myself. Olivia has been on my mind so much this week. Imagining taking her down to the pool for the first time. Seeing little beautiful baby toes feeling sand for the first time.

So I sit here and cry. Why put ourselves through this? She's probably not even born yet. We have 3 wonderful, amazing children who have made us smile and laugh all week. Who have brought smiles to even strangers passing by. Children that I love more than my own life. And yet I know I am still lacking. Incomplete. Sad. It's not a side of me I show many people.

But... I know this is the path we are meant to be on. My mind tells me that I know that there is a reason for our dossier, which should have been done in February, to still be in a FedEx envelope, in my luggage, waiting for a fax of a document that never came this week, or last week, or the five weeks before. There's a reason why those that submitted their dossiers in March are now in the top 10 waiting, and I'm not even on the list yet. God had a different plan for them than he did for me. For my Olivia.

But.. even as I sit here in my own private pity party. I have reason to celebrate. I belong to a yahoo AWAA group for adoptive parents who are amazing moms and dads. These Christians pray for each other, encourage each other, and love on each other. After a month of delays, problems, slow-downs, these Christians set aside 2 hours this past Sunday to pray specifically for all the open cases, all the difficulties, all the children and families waiting.

And here's what you may never see - the miracles those prayers brought this week. Parents finally getting the word they could travel for court, parents finally getting the word they could go to pick up their children, and many parents who received their long awaited referrals for their new children. All this week. Prayer works.

And that's what you may never see - if you don't step out and say "YES" to living a life to it's fullest. You don't see how God is working in the lives of a missionary you are supporting - how prayers for health or funds were answered. You don't see how God provided funds for the many families like us that are adopting, often miraculously or right at the moment of need. You don't see how a child's life is changed, and their new desire to become a pastor, because of a small sacrifice on your part every month, or a letter telling them you love them. You don't see the widow who can now provide for her family, because of a gift equal to a dinner at a nice restaurant.

You don't see those things if you take the safe road. The comfortable road. It's so much easier on the road where you stay un-involved. I know - I stayed there for many years. Thanking God that we were so comfortable and content. But content is not what God desires for you, or for me. The enemy likes us to be content because when we are content, we are quiet. We are stagnant.

God wants you to see what His power can do. What your prayers can do. And you wont see that if you don't step out in faith and quit saying "we'll never be able to do that" "I would love to do that but...." "I wish I could help but....."

What is God calling you to do?? Even if it leaves you crying out to him?

Spend four minutes watching this video - I'm sure God will be using it to spur many of His children to action. Will you be one of them? Or would watching the video make you too uncomfortable so you'll pass it by?

Start small. You don't have to change the world. You just have to decide to make a change. Sponsor a child and know that you are letting God use you. You can never imagine where he may lead you.


The Thomas Family, Artesia, NM said...

I love reading your posts! I know you know this but it is all in His perfect timing! As we looked at our daughter tonight and dates that have influenced her little life sonar, I can see His timing and it is so much better than ours. Praying your document comes soon!


JG said...

Good word. We should always remember to answer, "Here am I, Lord. Send me." He won't send us where He doesn't want us.