Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Confessions of a Blogaholic

I confess, I am addicted to adoption blogs. Just being able to follow families from the paperwork chase, to submission of their dossier (oh, dance of joy...), to referral of that sweet baby's face, to travel and home - it is addicting. And I spend way too much time that should be devoted to laundry salivating over little round faces with great big eyes.

And while we are in the mood to confess (or me anyway) - after a Sunday School lesson this past week, I need to confess to all my peeps - I have no mercy. Or very little. It's sad really. Feel free to stop following me at this point.

We did a spiritual gifts survey to which my score in the mercy column, let's just say, it's less than the number of fingers I have. Almost on one hand. As a Compassion advocate, I should probably be fired.

But as I told the teacher, I have mercy, it's just for certain people... To which he said, "that may be the definition of not having mercy." Oh, mercy.

Let me explain - if you are going through a divorce, sorry, I can't help you. If you have just been diagnosed with a strange foot disease, I really don't want to talk about it with you. If your brother's mother-in-law's second cousin was just diagnosed with cancer, I would be lying if I said I would be praying for you. I just can't do it. And up until now, I have felt really, really guilty about that. Like I am an emotional defect. Why is it my hubs has his heart ripped out when he finds out a complete stranger has cancer and my response (inwardly at least) is usually very ho-hum? We've seen a very dear friend fight and die from cancer and as painful as it was to see her go through - she's dining with the creator of the universe right now while I'm eating shredded wheat - who's got it better now?

I know that all sounds very callous and heartless but as I said, I realized that while I don't have the gift of mercy - I think I'm pretty content that I scored when God was giving out the presents none-the-less.

I got the gift of prophecy. Which just sounds cool to me. In the description, it listed those people as "strong convictions and expects others to as well; need to express herself verbally, especially regarding right and wrong; painfully direct when correcting others; persistent in expressing feelings regarding need for change; ability to proclaim God's truth without compromise." Oh honey, if you looked my name up in the dictionary - that might just be the definition! Big mouth, big heart, but also big attitude about telling you about it.

So while I may not be the one to be visiting rest homes weekly or baking casseroles for widowed spouses, I am pretty passionate about showing mercy to those little ones who are so often overlooked. And the way I figure it, since God is perfect, and His plan is perfect, He must think it is perfectly alright that He made me this way. Cause He's got those areas already covered and needs me for other things, right?

So what gift did our Daddy give you?


The Thomas Family, Artesia, NM said...

I love it! Sounds a lot like me. I would love to take the spiritual gift assessment that you took.

James 1:27 Family said...

This post made me laugh out loud. I love the honesty. I mean, really, not too many people would say that their inner thoughts were "ho-hum" when they find out someone has cancer. But you know what, that's real! I love real! We have too much fake. I'm a busy gal and I only have time for real. Thanks for the laugh and the great post.

BTW- My gift from our Father is compassion. I cry at EVERYTHING. I think we'd make a funny pair of friends. :)

Thank you SO much for all of the information and encouragement regarding our daughter, Sarah, and her health and hearing struggles. I'm googling every free second I can...

In Jesus,