On April 15th, I sent our homestudy to Citizenship and Immigration. It was suppose to take around 30 days, max of 90 days to get me the form I needed to adopt an international orphan.
On May 6th, DSS sent their approval. So let's be gracious and just have that as the entry date.
On July 4th, we find out our file is being sent to Missouri. 60 days, and they couldn't read a report (which would take less than 20 min. to read) and issue me the form I needed.
On July 7th, CIS in Missouri told Tony that it hadn't been mailed til July 6th. 60 days after they received it. The worker said she would work to 'expedite' our approval. "Call back next week"
On July 14th, CIS in Missouri told Tony that they had located our file but it hadn't been assigned to a caseworker yet. But Charleston had done some work on it and it was farther along than some files in process. "Call back next week" - 68 days.
Today, July 21st, CIS in Missouri told Tony that our file is in the building. You think? It is being worked on. But hasn't been logged in the system yet. "Call back next week". Thanks for expediting it.... It's been 75 days.
Charleston had it 8 weeks.
Missouri had it 3 weeks. That makes 11 weeks. Of me going crazy.
Maximum time to take was 12 weeks? I'm seriously going crazy.
And I have the complete dossier in my nightstand (now hiding from me as I got tired of it teasing me). All without this one piece of paper.
I needed to vent. Thank you for letting me do so. Cause if I go to Missouri and go postal on them, I'm guessing that wont look very good for my chances to be approved to adopt.
**I KNOW this is all in God's timing. I KNOW Olivia will be ready, just when we are ready for her. But it still stinks. The parents that started their adoptions the SAME month I did are starting to get the pictures of their children. And I have 8-10 MONTHS to go AFTER I get that package over to Ethiopia. This just really stinks. If it takes this long to get one piece of paper issued, on the basis of TWO reports already written about us, and in the file - just think how long it will take someone to get a new kidney under new government healthcare.
Rant off. You may go back to your regularly scheduled program now. Please pray for me and my sanity.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
What's her story?
Funny how when I'm feeling something - and start surfing adoption blogs - it seems other moms are struggling with those exact same feelings too.
Like the fact of how you can become so engrossed with an adoption in the same way you become obsessed with a pregnancy. Remember?? Searching babycenter.com? Searching baby name sites? Actually reading books about 'What to Expect'? (And then, with Baby #3, just trying to remember when your next o.b. appt. was??? Much less read a book?)
But baby #4 - has me hooked. Reading been-there-done-that blogs. Reading articles. Reading moms-in-waiting blogs. Everything comes back to adoption.
So when I saw a young girl on Compassion's website, a beautiful, 15 year old girl - instead of the usual desire I have to love Compassion kids - this one was different. What if? What if that 15 year old girl was my baby's mother? She was 15. An only child in the home. With a mentally ill mother. And she was above average in high school. Above average.
What about here in the US? What chance would a 15 year old in the same situation have? Yes - she may be an over-achiever but as the only child in a single parent household, much less a mentally ill parent - what are the chances she would graduate? Much less get a college education? Much less live her life to the fullest? She would most likely fall into society's trap - going to work early. Trying to make ends meet. Trying to take care of her mother. But with our nation's package of benefits, food stamps, housing help, disability payments?
Now imagine that same, beautiful, over-achieving child in Africa. Without Compassion - where would she be? What would that child, CHILD, have to do - to make ends meet? Education would be out of the question. A real job would be out of the question. A real life --- or a life filled with heart-ache, most likely abuse, most likely letting her body be used, just to scrape together the money needed to take care of herself and her mother. And then what if that abuse led to an unplanned pregnancy, and possibly a death sentence in an unwanted disease. At 15?
That could be the story of my baby's mother. And as much as I desire to hold my child - never, never would I wish that story on any young woman. Much less a child.
But unfortunately, that is the story of millions of women, no girls, worldwide. Adoption doesn't take away those stories, it just tries to help pick up some of the pieces from those broken dreams. And to make a new dream for that little one who would not have stood a chance after being left on the steps of an orphanage. After her young mother can't afford to take care of her and can't bare to watch her child die of starvation or illness. Adoption isn't a fairy tale. It is a small band-aid to try to fix a huge, gaping wound. A wound of 147 million children as we speak.
But back to that 15 year old Gebreloa. SHE is in Compassion's program. Her schooling provided for. Her health monitored. Her mental wellness and social needs met. The love of Christ introduced to her. So in hope - I pray - that that 15 year old will be a success. Because, with Compassion, I have seen many success stories first hand.
But I also know - what could that above-average 15 year old accomplish with someone beside her? Cheering her on? Encouraging her to stay in school? To better herself for the sake of herself and her mother? Praying for her? Helping to lead her to the strong arms of Christ?
Her story could be so much different. And only someone like you could help write that story. Would you? Gebreola Shiferaw - I'm pleading for someone to sponsor her. She is only one child. But one child that deserves to be a child - and not a mother to my baby or someone else's.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
To search for a different child by birthday, gender, sex, or country - Click here. There are thousands of other Gebreola's with stories to be written.
Like the fact of how you can become so engrossed with an adoption in the same way you become obsessed with a pregnancy. Remember?? Searching babycenter.com? Searching baby name sites? Actually reading books about 'What to Expect'? (And then, with Baby #3, just trying to remember when your next o.b. appt. was??? Much less read a book?)
But baby #4 - has me hooked. Reading been-there-done-that blogs. Reading articles. Reading moms-in-waiting blogs. Everything comes back to adoption.
So when I saw a young girl on Compassion's website, a beautiful, 15 year old girl - instead of the usual desire I have to love Compassion kids - this one was different. What if? What if that 15 year old girl was my baby's mother? She was 15. An only child in the home. With a mentally ill mother. And she was above average in high school. Above average.
What about here in the US? What chance would a 15 year old in the same situation have? Yes - she may be an over-achiever but as the only child in a single parent household, much less a mentally ill parent - what are the chances she would graduate? Much less get a college education? Much less live her life to the fullest? She would most likely fall into society's trap - going to work early. Trying to make ends meet. Trying to take care of her mother. But with our nation's package of benefits, food stamps, housing help, disability payments?
Now imagine that same, beautiful, over-achieving child in Africa. Without Compassion - where would she be? What would that child, CHILD, have to do - to make ends meet? Education would be out of the question. A real job would be out of the question. A real life --- or a life filled with heart-ache, most likely abuse, most likely letting her body be used, just to scrape together the money needed to take care of herself and her mother. And then what if that abuse led to an unplanned pregnancy, and possibly a death sentence in an unwanted disease. At 15?
That could be the story of my baby's mother. And as much as I desire to hold my child - never, never would I wish that story on any young woman. Much less a child.
But unfortunately, that is the story of millions of women, no girls, worldwide. Adoption doesn't take away those stories, it just tries to help pick up some of the pieces from those broken dreams. And to make a new dream for that little one who would not have stood a chance after being left on the steps of an orphanage. After her young mother can't afford to take care of her and can't bare to watch her child die of starvation or illness. Adoption isn't a fairy tale. It is a small band-aid to try to fix a huge, gaping wound. A wound of 147 million children as we speak.
But back to that 15 year old Gebreloa. SHE is in Compassion's program. Her schooling provided for. Her health monitored. Her mental wellness and social needs met. The love of Christ introduced to her. So in hope - I pray - that that 15 year old will be a success. Because, with Compassion, I have seen many success stories first hand.
But I also know - what could that above-average 15 year old accomplish with someone beside her? Cheering her on? Encouraging her to stay in school? To better herself for the sake of herself and her mother? Praying for her? Helping to lead her to the strong arms of Christ?
Her story could be so much different. And only someone like you could help write that story. Would you? Gebreola Shiferaw - I'm pleading for someone to sponsor her. She is only one child. But one child that deserves to be a child - and not a mother to my baby or someone else's.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
To search for a different child by birthday, gender, sex, or country - Click here. There are thousands of other Gebreola's with stories to be written.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Middle Child whoops
While perusing through all the old birthday posts, I realized that my middle child must not have turned 7 this year. Either that or his mother completely forgot to blog about it. Which, there's no way THAT could have happened.What is even more startling is the fact that his birthday was accompanied by a true miracle in the state of South Carolina. It snowed..... A Lot...
So my middle son, who not only received the miracle of Jesus helping a fish hook fall out of his eye unscathed - he also thinks he received the miracle of God making it snow JUST FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. And 'aint nobody telling him any different!
We had planned his first sleep-over. Which turned out to be a bust as no one would send their children to our house to sleep over if there was the chance of more than 1/4 of an inch of snow falling! I mean - we can't go out to get milk during a blizzard like that - why would we be able to go retrieve our child?? A snow that deep and the poor child may be stuck at my house for at least a week!!
But, the Lord has blessed us with A LOT of neighbors. With A LOT of boys. So we were able to go celebrate in Braeden's birthday snow, that God sent just for him. Staying up late throwing snowballs and tackling each other. Until about noon when it had all melted away anyway....
Happy Late, Very Late, Birthday Little Man!!!
(he's rejoicing that at least his mentally impaired mother remembered to get a present or two. And the fact that he no longer has to wear hand-me-down skates but has his own pair. It's tough being a middle child.)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A Do-It-Yourself Birthday
I need to give a shout-out to all you summer babies:
- who throw parties no one every comes to; except the obligatory cousins
- whose mom never brought cupcakes into school for your birthday
- whose friends don't call as they are usually at the beach or pool
- whose birthday party gets melded together with a family vacation or pool get-together. "Let's go to Carowinds this weekend...... oh yeah, for your birthday!! Aren't you special!!"
It's a sad, sad situation I know. For I too - was a summer baby. And I'm still trying to heal from the resentment I feel. And I swore I would never, never, ever do it to one of my kids.
Till I started working in the public school system. And had student loans. And was a newlywed. And wanted a baby. But needed it to come in the summer so I wouldn't have as many days with no pay. Cause we was 'Po. With a capital P.
So Seth - my millennium baby - was destined to be a summer baby too. I'm so sorry baby. You missed Y2K power outages but still suffer the effects of an ill-timed pregnancy..
Poor baby had to decorate his own cake....
Find and light his own candles.....
Make his own birthday hat (much cooler than a cone I must say)...
And even provide his own decorations.....
Happy Birthday to my gorgeous 10-year old!!! If mommy could just freeze time so you wouldn't have to have anymore summer birthdays (and could just stay this age) I would. Cause every year you grow older, it adds about 5 on to my middle aged parent meter... I Love you!
- who throw parties no one every comes to; except the obligatory cousins
- whose mom never brought cupcakes into school for your birthday
- whose friends don't call as they are usually at the beach or pool
- whose birthday party gets melded together with a family vacation or pool get-together. "Let's go to Carowinds this weekend...... oh yeah, for your birthday!! Aren't you special!!"
It's a sad, sad situation I know. For I too - was a summer baby. And I'm still trying to heal from the resentment I feel. And I swore I would never, never, ever do it to one of my kids.
Till I started working in the public school system. And had student loans. And was a newlywed. And wanted a baby. But needed it to come in the summer so I wouldn't have as many days with no pay. Cause we was 'Po. With a capital P.
So Seth - my millennium baby - was destined to be a summer baby too. I'm so sorry baby. You missed Y2K power outages but still suffer the effects of an ill-timed pregnancy..
Poor baby had to decorate his own cake....
Find and light his own candles.....
Make his own birthday hat (much cooler than a cone I must say)...
And even provide his own decorations.....
Happy Birthday to my gorgeous 10-year old!!! If mommy could just freeze time so you wouldn't have to have anymore summer birthdays (and could just stay this age) I would. Cause every year you grow older, it adds about 5 on to my middle aged parent meter... I Love you!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
That's my boy
The boys went with their 'daycare' (can you be in a daycare at 10 years old?) to the South Carolina State House this past week. The place they are enrolled is awesome and have them scooting all over the midlands every summer on field trips.
To show you the difference in my boys - this was probably Seth's 3rd trip to the capital city. Every trip was just deemed 'o.k.' and I heard no details or interesting facts he had learned. Guess cause there were no ball players on the state house floor..
Braeden comes back excited with lots of details, things they saw, etc. And then he lets this one go, real casually, with no idea he is just being completely hilarious.
"And then we went in the big room where they showed us this sword that they use to turn the lights on. It had a big aisle in the middle - with the Democrats going on one side and the good people going on the other side."
That's my boy. My little mini Tea Partier..
And just in case you watch the government sponsored mainstream news (and not Fox) - and think that the Tea Party guys are just racist, anti-government redneck terrorists - here is their Contract from America, the basis of their ideals.
To show you the difference in my boys - this was probably Seth's 3rd trip to the capital city. Every trip was just deemed 'o.k.' and I heard no details or interesting facts he had learned. Guess cause there were no ball players on the state house floor..
Braeden comes back excited with lots of details, things they saw, etc. And then he lets this one go, real casually, with no idea he is just being completely hilarious.
"And then we went in the big room where they showed us this sword that they use to turn the lights on. It had a big aisle in the middle - with the Democrats going on one side and the good people going on the other side."
That's my boy. My little mini Tea Partier..
And just in case you watch the government sponsored mainstream news (and not Fox) - and think that the Tea Party guys are just racist, anti-government redneck terrorists - here is their Contract from America, the basis of their ideals.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
What you may never see
We are finishing up a fantastic week of vacation at my favorite place - the ocean. I've told Tony that I feel God the most when I'm sitting by the surf. Listening to His whispering in the waves, seeing His fingerprints on the sand and in the sun on the ocean.
We're all packed up to start home early in the morning. And I'm up after midnight feeling sorry for myself. Olivia has been on my mind so much this week. Imagining taking her down to the pool for the first time. Seeing little beautiful baby toes feeling sand for the first time.
So I sit here and cry. Why put ourselves through this? She's probably not even born yet. We have 3 wonderful, amazing children who have made us smile and laugh all week. Who have brought smiles to even strangers passing by. Children that I love more than my own life. And yet I know I am still lacking. Incomplete. Sad. It's not a side of me I show many people.
But... I know this is the path we are meant to be on. My mind tells me that I know that there is a reason for our dossier, which should have been done in February, to still be in a FedEx envelope, in my luggage, waiting for a fax of a document that never came this week, or last week, or the five weeks before. There's a reason why those that submitted their dossiers in March are now in the top 10 waiting, and I'm not even on the list yet. God had a different plan for them than he did for me. For my Olivia.
But.. even as I sit here in my own private pity party. I have reason to celebrate. I belong to a yahoo AWAA group for adoptive parents who are amazing moms and dads. These Christians pray for each other, encourage each other, and love on each other. After a month of delays, problems, slow-downs, these Christians set aside 2 hours this past Sunday to pray specifically for all the open cases, all the difficulties, all the children and families waiting.
And here's what you may never see - the miracles those prayers brought this week. Parents finally getting the word they could travel for court, parents finally getting the word they could go to pick up their children, and many parents who received their long awaited referrals for their new children. All this week. Prayer works.
And that's what you may never see - if you don't step out and say "YES" to living a life to it's fullest. You don't see how God is working in the lives of a missionary you are supporting - how prayers for health or funds were answered. You don't see how God provided funds for the many families like us that are adopting, often miraculously or right at the moment of need. You don't see how a child's life is changed, and their new desire to become a pastor, because of a small sacrifice on your part every month, or a letter telling them you love them. You don't see the widow who can now provide for her family, because of a gift equal to a dinner at a nice restaurant.
You don't see those things if you take the safe road. The comfortable road. It's so much easier on the road where you stay un-involved. I know - I stayed there for many years. Thanking God that we were so comfortable and content. But content is not what God desires for you, or for me. The enemy likes us to be content because when we are content, we are quiet. We are stagnant.
God wants you to see what His power can do. What your prayers can do. And you wont see that if you don't step out in faith and quit saying "we'll never be able to do that" "I would love to do that but...." "I wish I could help but....."
What is God calling you to do?? Even if it leaves you crying out to him?
Spend four minutes watching this video - I'm sure God will be using it to spur many of His children to action. Will you be one of them? Or would watching the video make you too uncomfortable so you'll pass it by?
Start small. You don't have to change the world. You just have to decide to make a change. Sponsor a child and know that you are letting God use you. You can never imagine where he may lead you.
We're all packed up to start home early in the morning. And I'm up after midnight feeling sorry for myself. Olivia has been on my mind so much this week. Imagining taking her down to the pool for the first time. Seeing little beautiful baby toes feeling sand for the first time.
So I sit here and cry. Why put ourselves through this? She's probably not even born yet. We have 3 wonderful, amazing children who have made us smile and laugh all week. Who have brought smiles to even strangers passing by. Children that I love more than my own life. And yet I know I am still lacking. Incomplete. Sad. It's not a side of me I show many people.
But... I know this is the path we are meant to be on. My mind tells me that I know that there is a reason for our dossier, which should have been done in February, to still be in a FedEx envelope, in my luggage, waiting for a fax of a document that never came this week, or last week, or the five weeks before. There's a reason why those that submitted their dossiers in March are now in the top 10 waiting, and I'm not even on the list yet. God had a different plan for them than he did for me. For my Olivia.
But.. even as I sit here in my own private pity party. I have reason to celebrate. I belong to a yahoo AWAA group for adoptive parents who are amazing moms and dads. These Christians pray for each other, encourage each other, and love on each other. After a month of delays, problems, slow-downs, these Christians set aside 2 hours this past Sunday to pray specifically for all the open cases, all the difficulties, all the children and families waiting.
And here's what you may never see - the miracles those prayers brought this week. Parents finally getting the word they could travel for court, parents finally getting the word they could go to pick up their children, and many parents who received their long awaited referrals for their new children. All this week. Prayer works.
And that's what you may never see - if you don't step out and say "YES" to living a life to it's fullest. You don't see how God is working in the lives of a missionary you are supporting - how prayers for health or funds were answered. You don't see how God provided funds for the many families like us that are adopting, often miraculously or right at the moment of need. You don't see how a child's life is changed, and their new desire to become a pastor, because of a small sacrifice on your part every month, or a letter telling them you love them. You don't see the widow who can now provide for her family, because of a gift equal to a dinner at a nice restaurant.
You don't see those things if you take the safe road. The comfortable road. It's so much easier on the road where you stay un-involved. I know - I stayed there for many years. Thanking God that we were so comfortable and content. But content is not what God desires for you, or for me. The enemy likes us to be content because when we are content, we are quiet. We are stagnant.
God wants you to see what His power can do. What your prayers can do. And you wont see that if you don't step out in faith and quit saying "we'll never be able to do that" "I would love to do that but...." "I wish I could help but....."
What is God calling you to do?? Even if it leaves you crying out to him?
Spend four minutes watching this video - I'm sure God will be using it to spur many of His children to action. Will you be one of them? Or would watching the video make you too uncomfortable so you'll pass it by?
Start small. You don't have to change the world. You just have to decide to make a change. Sponsor a child and know that you are letting God use you. You can never imagine where he may lead you.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Since you asked..
So now what??? Many who know we have been fund-raising have asked - so NOW can you go get the baby? Well... no.
Now we have the $7700 needed to send in our paperwork (a.k.a. The Adoption Dossier) (a.k.a. every item about our life except our underwear size) (a.k.a. the paper pregnancy / nausea portion).
THIS PAPERWORK:
And what you can't really appreciate from that photo is the 2 copies under each stack. AND that some had to be notarized, some didn't, some had to be taken to the South Carolina State Department to be certified, and all have to be separated into 3 individual sets and placed in a very specific order.
With the $7700. And away to Virginia to America World Adoption Agency it shall go with my blessing...
Except for this pesky detail....
That would be the form I need from the United States Department of Citizenship and Immigration. A form that will be issued to allow us to bring an orphan in-country IF our federal fingerprints (that we had to go to Charleston to get taken) came out o.k., and IF they approve of our home study, and BECAUSE we paid them $830. It was submitted May 6th (not that I'm obsessing). And was suppose to take a minimum of 30 days. (not that I'm counting - what was today again???)
So when it gets here, we're good to go. Unless you also noticed that there are only my set of passport photos waiting. Cause the camera at Office Depot was broken and couldn't take Tony's today.. Of course. What was it I said about stumping our toes on EVERY step???
So then we're good to go. And THEN can we go get the baby? Well.... no.
Then we go on a waiting list depending on where our name falls in order on the important DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia) list. If we had our paperwork in today, which we don't - we would only be #21 in line on the unofficial yahoo family list for a baby girl. ....Only....
Which means waiting 8-10 months until we are #1.
And then getting a call/email with her precious little face..
And then accepting that little face as our daughter, signing some paperwork, and sending $5250 in. (money that will be used to care for her in the orphanage)
And THEN waiting on a court date 1-2 months later.
And then both of us flying to Ethiopia to attend court and see and love on our baby for 7-10 days.
And then coming home (sigh...)
And then waiting 2-3 months for the US to give us an Embassy date to request her exit visa.
And then we travel back to bring her home!!
Simple enough, huh?
And while it seems pretty complicated, and pretty expensive, pregnancy and child-birth wasn't a walk in the park either... and I'm not puking 5 times a day, every day, like I did my last pregnancy. AND I get to include all of you on the team to support, pray, and love Olivia in our journey to bring her home. Versus puking by myself in a nasty rest area bathroom. Adoption has it's perks!
CAN'T WAIT TIL YOU GET HERE BABY GIRL. WE MISS YOU ALREADY.
Now we have the $7700 needed to send in our paperwork (a.k.a. The Adoption Dossier) (a.k.a. every item about our life except our underwear size) (a.k.a. the paper pregnancy / nausea portion).
THIS PAPERWORK:
And what you can't really appreciate from that photo is the 2 copies under each stack. AND that some had to be notarized, some didn't, some had to be taken to the South Carolina State Department to be certified, and all have to be separated into 3 individual sets and placed in a very specific order.
With the $7700. And away to Virginia to America World Adoption Agency it shall go with my blessing...
Except for this pesky detail....
That would be the form I need from the United States Department of Citizenship and Immigration. A form that will be issued to allow us to bring an orphan in-country IF our federal fingerprints (that we had to go to Charleston to get taken) came out o.k., and IF they approve of our home study, and BECAUSE we paid them $830. It was submitted May 6th (not that I'm obsessing). And was suppose to take a minimum of 30 days. (not that I'm counting - what was today again???)
So when it gets here, we're good to go. Unless you also noticed that there are only my set of passport photos waiting. Cause the camera at Office Depot was broken and couldn't take Tony's today.. Of course. What was it I said about stumping our toes on EVERY step???
So then we're good to go. And THEN can we go get the baby? Well.... no.
Then we go on a waiting list depending on where our name falls in order on the important DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia) list. If we had our paperwork in today, which we don't - we would only be #21 in line on the unofficial yahoo family list for a baby girl. ....Only....
Which means waiting 8-10 months until we are #1.
And then getting a call/email with her precious little face..
And then accepting that little face as our daughter, signing some paperwork, and sending $5250 in. (money that will be used to care for her in the orphanage)
And THEN waiting on a court date 1-2 months later.
And then both of us flying to Ethiopia to attend court and see and love on our baby for 7-10 days.
And then coming home (sigh...)
And then waiting 2-3 months for the US to give us an Embassy date to request her exit visa.
And then we travel back to bring her home!!
Simple enough, huh?
And while it seems pretty complicated, and pretty expensive, pregnancy and child-birth wasn't a walk in the park either... and I'm not puking 5 times a day, every day, like I did my last pregnancy. AND I get to include all of you on the team to support, pray, and love Olivia in our journey to bring her home. Versus puking by myself in a nasty rest area bathroom. Adoption has it's perks!
CAN'T WAIT TIL YOU GET HERE BABY GIRL. WE MISS YOU ALREADY.
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