As a mom, I can honestly say I love my job. I love my job as mom to three monkeys, and I love my job as a speech therapist where I can train other moms for an hour a week to talk to their little monkeys. But about once every couple of months, I find myself sinking into that pit of mommy pity parties. Why do I have so much laundry to do? Why do I have to clean the toilet, again?? Why do I have to go get groceries at 10:00 at night?? Why do I have to sweep the "always dirty" floor again? There are just not enough hours in the day!! It must have to do with Eve screwing everything up for us women!
Then there are the "why can't I's??" Why can't I just go on a drive for coffee whenever I want? Why can't I sleep in until 10 on Saturday? Why can't I spend copious amounts of cash on a new wardrobe? Why can't I make time for myself to make friends and actually call or hang out with them (without young'uns tugging at our pant-tails)?
But then, I snap back into reality and realize - I need to quit asking WHY and instead WHO? Who is it that God gave 3 healthy, beautiful children to? Who is it God picked a wonderful man out for (a completely opposite but perfectly matched fit)? Who is it that God allowed to have a job where she can both be a part-time mom and part-time money maker? Who is it that God destined to live forever, with Him, in a place without tears, laundry, or toilets? Oh yeah, that would be me....
So yes, I do get tired. Irritable. Crabby. But then I take a step back to be thankful for the many blessings I have. Even as I feel sorry for myself with my lack of close girlfriends - T invites new couples over both Saturday AND Sunday night and I sigh, "more cleaning, more cooking" Why, oh why? Then I think - God is stepping in, yet again to try to please this ungrateful and whiny daughter with adult play dates. So this thanksgiving, I'm going to stop whining (at least for one week.. maybe)
BUT - I still can wish for the frozen coffee can't I????
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
May 2007 - I'm FINE
So this wont be my greatest work as it's now midnight and I really should be in bed. I've had a ton of people ask lately how we have been doing and haven't gotten a chance to write each of you back so I'm blogging to update and inform everyone in one big giant swoop.
We are doing FINE. Don't you just hate it when people say that?? As far as the chilluns go, they are awesome. They make me laugh daily and are all smart, beautiful, and so happy. They are also very well-fed and eating us out of house and home! It has been so much fun to see their dynamics and how they interact with each other and their different character traits. Addison is definately a strong-willed little girl. She will never be the shy little wildflower that her mother was! Yes, I did say WAS. 11 years of marriage to one such as T will bring you out of your shell a bit...
Some of you have also asked about how Laken is doing. She is doing o.k. Mike's mom & dad are taking excellent care of her and she was given permission to remain at her previous school which was good for her. She still has a ways to go but that is expected. She loves T and really latches on to him when we are together. The boys miss getting to play with her every weekend, as they live about 30 min. away now.
I feel like I should say something about Mike - since I devoted a whole blog earlier to Danica. Mike was unlike anyone you have probably ever met. He was completely kind-hearted. But also as stubborn as a mule and would argue about the color of grass if the mood hit him. He loved his wife, and he loved his daughter. And he loved his friends and knew exactly how to make you laugh when you needed it. His colorful, redneck language will stay burned in all our minds and will always be thought about with a smile. And he loved God. He had a picture of Christ in Heaven across the back glass of his new truck. And across the front a cross with the words "It's not mine, it's His" Mike lived his faith everyday. I don't know if they have mud-boggin in Heaven, but if they do - he's right there! He is definitely missed, but he is with his wife and with his savior so it's hard to be sad for his sake as that is exactly where he wanted to be.
In terms of my marriage, my husband is still the best gift God ever gave me. I have said before, that I feel like my children just kind of come along as part of me, but to think that T was hand-picked by the creator of the universe just for ME, leaves me in awe. I have to say, the last few months have not been our greatest moments, but we are still staying strong. Mike's death completely devastated him and he is still grieving for what was lost in his one true brother. In that loss, I couldn't relate. I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't replace his lost friendship. And so I grieved the lost of MY best friend. I'm only writing all this to let you know that it is so easy to come off to the world as having a perfect marriage. The difference is, we were able to find our way back to what we were. Changed, but still the same. Even with the pain we were going through, we still both had Christ. And in Him, we both knew we had no option but to see each other through His eyes and not our own tear-stained ones. We could have opted out, it would have been very easy... and almost understandable under such stress. But instead, we are clawing our way back. So when I say we are FINE. We are. I am nothing without the man who gives me chills every time I see him on stage singing, who makes me smile every time I see him out in front playing football with the boys, who makes me tear when I see him rocking our baby in the darkness. I am just thankful to God that we were able to make our foundation strong so that when the storms came, our house didn't crumble.
We are doing FINE. Don't you just hate it when people say that?? As far as the chilluns go, they are awesome. They make me laugh daily and are all smart, beautiful, and so happy. They are also very well-fed and eating us out of house and home! It has been so much fun to see their dynamics and how they interact with each other and their different character traits. Addison is definately a strong-willed little girl. She will never be the shy little wildflower that her mother was! Yes, I did say WAS. 11 years of marriage to one such as T will bring you out of your shell a bit...
Some of you have also asked about how Laken is doing. She is doing o.k. Mike's mom & dad are taking excellent care of her and she was given permission to remain at her previous school which was good for her. She still has a ways to go but that is expected. She loves T and really latches on to him when we are together. The boys miss getting to play with her every weekend, as they live about 30 min. away now.
I feel like I should say something about Mike - since I devoted a whole blog earlier to Danica. Mike was unlike anyone you have probably ever met. He was completely kind-hearted. But also as stubborn as a mule and would argue about the color of grass if the mood hit him. He loved his wife, and he loved his daughter. And he loved his friends and knew exactly how to make you laugh when you needed it. His colorful, redneck language will stay burned in all our minds and will always be thought about with a smile. And he loved God. He had a picture of Christ in Heaven across the back glass of his new truck. And across the front a cross with the words "It's not mine, it's His" Mike lived his faith everyday. I don't know if they have mud-boggin in Heaven, but if they do - he's right there! He is definitely missed, but he is with his wife and with his savior so it's hard to be sad for his sake as that is exactly where he wanted to be.
In terms of my marriage, my husband is still the best gift God ever gave me. I have said before, that I feel like my children just kind of come along as part of me, but to think that T was hand-picked by the creator of the universe just for ME, leaves me in awe. I have to say, the last few months have not been our greatest moments, but we are still staying strong. Mike's death completely devastated him and he is still grieving for what was lost in his one true brother. In that loss, I couldn't relate. I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't replace his lost friendship. And so I grieved the lost of MY best friend. I'm only writing all this to let you know that it is so easy to come off to the world as having a perfect marriage. The difference is, we were able to find our way back to what we were. Changed, but still the same. Even with the pain we were going through, we still both had Christ. And in Him, we both knew we had no option but to see each other through His eyes and not our own tear-stained ones. We could have opted out, it would have been very easy... and almost understandable under such stress. But instead, we are clawing our way back. So when I say we are FINE. We are. I am nothing without the man who gives me chills every time I see him on stage singing, who makes me smile every time I see him out in front playing football with the boys, who makes me tear when I see him rocking our baby in the darkness. I am just thankful to God that we were able to make our foundation strong so that when the storms came, our house didn't crumble.
May 2007 - Black Eyed ME
So in preparation for our anniversary this weekend (of 11 years) - T kindly gave me my first shiner. It's really funny to me, although it wasn't at the time my nose was running and I was weeping uncontrollably. Truth is I was looking for a remote in the bottom of the TV cabinet, he up top, and he dropped one of our 16 other remotes on my eye. Ouch. But what I have learned from my one and only battle scar, is more than just that I need to be aware of falling objects.
In the 4 days since this happened, I have had exactly TWO people ask what happened to me. Now I'm not the embarrassed type and I usually don't keep things to myself, so I don't know why everyone I have come in contact with has been too embarrassed to ask me why I look like Rocky's sparing partner. I have had a couple friends say "well... I was wondering but I didn't want to ask". You didn't want to ask???? Maybe it's because they know that T would never hit me.... but then why not ask? Maybe it's because they are afraid someone MAY have hit me.... but then why not ask? And then I started thinking..... how often do I "not ask" because of fear of hearing something that may make ME uncomfortable?
How often do we ask "how are ya doing?" and then nod "well that's just greeeeat" and walk away? We have become so self-absorbed that we often don't want to be burdened by another one's heavy load. "It's not my place..... I don't know them that well..... I really don't want to intrude..." But why not?? Black eyes are not the only battle wounds that jump out like big red flags. How often do you meet the friend or acquaintance with the down-cast eyes or the timid, uncomfortable conversation? Their wounds may be just as painful and we look the other way. I know how busy life is. How we run from ball practice, to church services, to the grocery store. But we still need to see that by flying on our jet plane through life, we may be leaving other's stranded in the process. I know that God didn't put me on this Earth to go to ball practice, or to even keep the church nursery. I was put here to develop relationships, with my family, my friends, and all those I encounter. To show them a peace that I have, (black eye or not). If I can't take the time to ask my children or my friends about their own shiners, than I am falling down on my job in this world and probably deserve my own beating.
As an aside: 1 out of my 2 friends' comment: "I hope T looks worse than you do!!" ha,ha.
In the 4 days since this happened, I have had exactly TWO people ask what happened to me. Now I'm not the embarrassed type and I usually don't keep things to myself, so I don't know why everyone I have come in contact with has been too embarrassed to ask me why I look like Rocky's sparing partner. I have had a couple friends say "well... I was wondering but I didn't want to ask". You didn't want to ask???? Maybe it's because they know that T would never hit me.... but then why not ask? Maybe it's because they are afraid someone MAY have hit me.... but then why not ask? And then I started thinking..... how often do I "not ask" because of fear of hearing something that may make ME uncomfortable?
How often do we ask "how are ya doing?" and then nod "well that's just greeeeat" and walk away? We have become so self-absorbed that we often don't want to be burdened by another one's heavy load. "It's not my place..... I don't know them that well..... I really don't want to intrude..." But why not?? Black eyes are not the only battle wounds that jump out like big red flags. How often do you meet the friend or acquaintance with the down-cast eyes or the timid, uncomfortable conversation? Their wounds may be just as painful and we look the other way. I know how busy life is. How we run from ball practice, to church services, to the grocery store. But we still need to see that by flying on our jet plane through life, we may be leaving other's stranded in the process. I know that God didn't put me on this Earth to go to ball practice, or to even keep the church nursery. I was put here to develop relationships, with my family, my friends, and all those I encounter. To show them a peace that I have, (black eye or not). If I can't take the time to ask my children or my friends about their own shiners, than I am falling down on my job in this world and probably deserve my own beating.
As an aside: 1 out of my 2 friends' comment: "I hope T looks worse than you do!!" ha,ha.
Dec. 2006 - Do as I say, Not as I do??
So at the ripe old age of 31, I now feel the need to spread the wisdom: with other moms, my poor little sister (who has had to put up with my advice for too many long years), and with complete strangers. I'm a complete work in progress and my family needs orange cones up to warn others of the construction going on - but here it is. Don't sweat the small stuff. T and I have had so many people comment on our marriage. 1) how close we are and 2) how I let him get by with so much (he knows it!) The secret is, it just isn't worth living your life fighting about if the trash has been taken out or if someone forgot to pay the light bill. While those things are important in day to day life - they shouldn't be the basis of whether you end the day in a shouting match or not. Let those little nuances go right over your head because it's so much easier to say "oh well" and roll your eyes than to hold on to all that baggage. It amazes us the number of old friends we have that have either cheated, been cheated on, or didn't make it. While we would like to credit each other with our relationship, I know it still boils down to having a Christ-centered marriage. T is accountable knowing that he HAS to put me above all others. If not, he has a Higher Power to answer to later on. He doesn't degrade me or my mothering, he constantly shows his love for me in front of our children, and he doesn't bad mouth me to others. In the same way, I HAVE to make him the head of the household. I know that when it comes to a big decision like a new job, moving, or buying a new car - that while I give my opinion, it is still his job to step up to the plate and make the decision that is best for our home and our family. (And I am so lucky that he doesn't abuse that privilege.) I can't stand to be around other women who constantly talk negative about their husbands - tell your husband, not your girlfriends!
Now, life hasn't been all chocolate and roses. We have had some very bumpy years with the in-laws, with job changes (too many to count), and with schooling and moving. But through it all, I never doubted that I was first in his life. So for that reason, I let him have fun with his friends, I entertain, I cook great meals, and I love my husband. In return, he lets me have my girls' nights, my lone trips shopping, and my trips home for my "mom" fix. Because we know that at the end of the day - God gave us to each other to enjoy and I'm so grateful to have been given that gift.
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