Demon Chickens

(I bet you clicked on the link just to see where I was going with this didn't you ???)

My eldest son is extremely artistic.
Like, better-than-his-mom, artistic. Which I am completely ok with.
About a year ago, he gave his dad this egg he had made at school that
never fails to make me giggle. I leave it in our car, just so on bad
days, I can put the visor down and smile at the silly. Here ya go, I
present to you - the Demon Chicken:

So it seems we have made the chicken mad. We've kinda known the chicken was mad. Maybe it was the way we
started loosing friends in really random, weird ways. Like the WEEK we
decided to adopt. Maybe it was the way weird things started making us
have to leave churches we loved. (loose a church? loose your prayer
support, your spiritual support, your emotional support) Maybe it was
the way Tony kept loosing jobs. Maybe it was the way things started
breaking and money owed started piling up. Or health scares. Or the
lies whispered that made us doubt. But yes, I think we have definitely
made the chicken mad. And yes, I think he has bit us, kicked us, and
thrown us to the ground. More in the last two weeks than ever. And I'm
getting sick of it.

1 Peter 5:8
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around
like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

And as I read somewhere recently - lions don't look for the big
kill. They look for the straggler, the weak, the small. They are
chickens. They don't go head to head usually with the big bull
elephant. They go after the little, the innocent, the weak, the
helpless. They usually go after the young.
It's the same with the enemy. He goes after the children. The helpless.
All over the world, there are little ones who are being picked on:
Stolen. Sold into slavery. Suffering from poverty. Dying. Prostituted.
Abandoned.

But adoption is God's plan to thwart that. Those children who otherwise
would fall prey to the enemy are led by God to a safe place. A place
where they are loved. A place where they are taught to love HIM. A
place where their story is used to show others God's miracles and God's
power.

And the chicken hates that. So he tries to stop it. Again, and again,
and again.

It would boggle your mind if I had every adoptive parent list every
weird or strange thing that has happen to them since they decided to
adopt. It's not in our heads. It is an attack. And it is on us, so that
we will back out, and leave the little ones prey to his cowardly
attacks.

But being pecked at isn't fun. It isn't pleasant or funny. It is real.

BUT - my God is bigger. And HE is stronger. And HIS angels are around
my daughter, and around us. BUT the battle, while raging above and
around us, we know who wins ultimately. And that makes me so much
stronger, and more angry, and a little more ticked off at the attacks,
and will help to sustain me until we have her home in our arms.

Silly demon chicken.

Psalm 138: 7-8
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you
stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right
hand you save me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands."

Beans, beans, good for the heart....

For those of you who haven't been following me for as long, I will always lovingly refer to Amy of "Building the Blocks" as my 'pickle jar lady'.

You see, Amy had just started her own adoption (her 4th!) a week or so before us and had set aside a pickle jar for her family to contribute their loose change to. Just a symbol - "God, we've got it started, we're going to work towards the goal, but we know you can fill it.." A couple days later, their pickle jar was running over as their entire adoption was generously donated by a spirit-led donor. So what did our family do? We put out a pickle jar of course!!!

Now our jar (which is actually a juice jug, but let's not split hairs) - hasn't been filled in one day, but I can say, over the last 2 years, God has put more change in that money jar than we ever could have been able to do on our own. Every penny has come from him. And so far, every penny we have needed, he has provided, on time and in the amount needed.

But back to my pickle jar lady.... Last year, I read this post. Amy and her family had sworn to eat beans and rice for dinner every day for a MONTH and then donate the money saved toward their 'pay it forward' adoption fund for another family. I was floored by not only the simplicity of their idea but the lesson that was being taught to their children. The majority of the children in this world will have one meal a day, if that, of the same ingredients. And our children throw away food on a daily basis... or snub their noses or whine and say 'I don't liiiiike this...'.

And while I LOVED the idea, I could only go for one night of a lesson, cause I'm all chicken and didn't want to deal with the recourse of a houseful of 3 men and a month of beans.. (although now that Addison has gotten older - I think I am seriously more afraid of her 'reaction' than the boys. Sister can put up a stank).

BUT, another year of live and learn and I'm all in on the wild side of educating my children now. (says the lady set on taking 3 under 12's on a total of 36 hours plane ride to a 3rd world country..)

SO, our church's children's program is trying to raise money to build a well in Africa and instantly, I fell in love with our new church. How cool is that!! So as the end of the year grows near and their goal is still $3000 away - we were challenged to think of new and creative ways to raise money. So my mind goes back to the beans and rice challenge - and I think I'm ready to put the clothespin on and take it for a spin.

So instead of going on my Sunday afternoon shopping trip for groceries, this week I'm going to just rest my amateur couponing skills and go get a couple more bags of beans and rice.. ( and possibly a cheap rice cooker since Tony claims rice is the only food I am inept at cooking correctly). Usually we spend around $120 for groceries in addition to money a couple times a week or so eating out. So we'll donate that amount of money to help bring children clean water.

I'll let you know how it goes. While I have high expectations -- my family may think the idea stinks quite a bit (and they might be right) - but in the process, I'm hoping their little hearts can be broken just a little bit more through the experience. Beans, beans, good for the heart......

Mustard Seed Faith

So it's taken me a good week to write this blog... cause I knew I needed to. But I didn't want to. Cause it's embarassing. And I knew to tell you the good thing I learned, I would have to confess to you the bad things I said. And that's not easy. But God said 'write' so now I write. "I just want to stop. I don't want to do this anymore!" Not the words that any child, anywhere, should have their parents say about them. But words that poured out of my soul 2 weeks ago. Out of a soul that was hurting, that was grieving, that was giving up in a snotty, exhausted fit of tears. So don't judge me too fast. Don't tell me I'm not fit to be her parent. That I haven't fought hard enough - cause let me tell you friends, 2 years is a long time to have your boxing gloves on. How could I give up on my daughter when we are so close??? (All these comments by the way, went through MY mind). But you see, our baby Olivia, at that moment - didn't exist to me any more. She was a dream. A beautiful dream that God had given me two years ago that was not destined to come to fruition. So to me, it felt like she had blown away like a vapor. An image I had created in my own mind. I should have ran, without stopping, to my Heavenly Father. Clinging to my current life verse as if it were a small island in the midst of a storm. But I didn't. So much for this strong Christian example. Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you 'Do not fear; I will help you." Or how 'bout my other current verse of the day - written down in my car and read almost daily?? Did I go there? Nope. Jeremiah 17:7-8 "Blessed is the (wo)man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. (S)he will be like a tree that is planted by the water who sends out its roots into the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought; but never fails to bear fruit." But finally, after a day of pouting, and crying, with fear AND worrying (good to know those verses sunk in my thick brain, huh?)... I prayed the next morning on the way to church for God to just talk to me that morning. Let me hear His voice. Let me know if I had heard him wrong 2 years ago. Let me know if we were making a big mistake. If it was time to turn the ship around. First a great sermon - but nope, no 'ah-ha' moments. And then after, during the invitation, the pastor goes off to a different tune sung just for me, something to the tune of: "The enemy does not want you to be happy. He is a liar. He wants you to be unhappy. He does not want you to fulfill the purpose God has for you..... stand strong... run from the darkness and into the light." And then, the next song - again, just for me: 

 The verses saying "YOU wont relent until you have it all.... my heart is yours...... come be the fire inside of me" So it hits me.... IF God isn't going to give up until His purpose is fulfilled.... and IF I claim to be His child, with Him taking residence in my heart..... and IF He is the fire inside of me..... than who am I to say 'I give up'? who am I to relent and throw my hands up because I am tired? am I not acting in the face of all I say is true? where is my fruit in the face of this drought? and since when did this become all about ME? So I come home, with the puzzled, slapped in the face kind of heart. And then my neighbor sends over a big bag of yellow banana peppers. (I AM going somewhere with this, I promise..) And I like to can them for a salad I make. So I get out my recipe box and start pulling out ingredients. 

And then laugh. Cause my Daddy knows I need to be thumped in the head every once in a while just to get His point across. It was just like He was saying to me, "Tracy, you see this???? This is ALL I'm asking from you. This much Faith. That's all I need from you. I've got the rest covered." Matthew 17: 14-21 "....Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

And then tonight, as I looked for images for this post, I came across this blog and quote: •A mustard-seed may in fact be small in size, but the miracle is in the relationship between the seed and the reality of the mustard tree. The seed produced phenomenal growth, point blank. Does your faith produce phenomenal spiritual growth in your own life? Does it produce phenomenal results for God’s Kingdom in the spread of the Gospel? That’s faith “as” a mustard seed. So yes - my tree did kind of run away from the water... and my fruit kind of stunk... but I needed that moment of desperation to figure out where I was planted was all wrong. As another song says, you have to be at the bottom before you start looking up. So that's why I wrote it all down. So you can laugh at me or shake your head in disgust. But at the end of the day, so you can see what mustard seed you may be holding that needs to be planted and watered - cause God only needs that much from us, a tiny seed of faith - but the fruit He will bear because we allow Him to work in us... that's where the real fire and beauty comes from.

We're just a small seed that has to be plucked in the head once in a while to figure out where our roots need to be firmly planted...

Passing by

"I forgot my book bag"

"How can you forget your book bag!?! This one time - this is your one time. I'll go back and get it but you need to take responsibility and remember or you'll have to face the consequences next time. Consequences are real life. What if Mommy forgot to pay my car payment...... blah. blah. blah. blah. blah. blah"

So we go home. And return towards the school in a direction opposite of usual. Just a couple minutes to spare.

And there he was. Running. Fast walking. Jogging. Fast walking. Obviously late to school. Obviously upset. Book bag and gym bag over his shoulders. Walking.

I feel that Holy Spirit nudge - 'don't pass by'.

But I keep driving, and take the littles on to school. And then come out to go back home a different way, this way he should have walked. And there he is. Maybe 9th grade. Hurriedly walking to school with only about 5 minutes left to make it and a 12 minute walk ahead. So I pull over and offer him a ride. And he was a sweet kid. Good manners. Appreciative. Ran out to his bus only to watch it pulling away.

Not saying all this to toot my own horn. I'm saying all this just because it has eaten and eaten at me since yesterday.

How many passed him by? And why? Were they late? Were they in their pajamas (which I would have been on ANY other morning except this one)? Or were they scared? Of his age, or of his color, or of both?

Others told me, 'you just have to be careful now'.... 'you just never know anymore'....'it's just too risky'.

But how many others have we passed by because we are scared? How many have I passed by????

The foster child; cause they might have too much baggage for us to handle.

The orphan with a now-treatable HIV; cause just imagine how hard that would be for our friends and family.

The sibling set, cause that's just too many kids for us to feed.

The homeless man outside Burger King, begging for money; cause what if he uses the money for booze?

The neighbor with cancer that may just need someone to talk to; cause I don't have time to invest in someone else's problems.

Sponsoring a child in another country; cause what if the organization doesn't use the money like they say they will?

How many? And why?

Although such a small, small deal - getting a kid to school on time. I don't know if he was a child of God.... but God orchestrated every minute for that moment, so I have to think He had his reasons. Those reasons I may never know. The only day I felt like pulling on my clothes early. The only day we would have been coming up the road in that direction because of a forgotten book bag. I don't know why. But I'm glad I didn't pass a good thing by even if it was risky.

Cause dying on a cross was risky. But thank God, HE didn't pass me by.

Dirty Bottoms

A good friend of ours just got back from her recent trip to Ethiopia to meet her beautiful new son. While there, they visited the orphanage that he had been living in for at least 2 of his sweet 3 years. She told me it was the worst place she had ever been. Many of the infants had recently been dropped off and still had attached umbilical cord stumps. They all were so filthy with soaking/dirty diapers that the families visiting couldn't even pick them up they were so dirty. The bottles were propped for each baby and with no burping, the tiny infants would throw up all over themselves and would lay there, not being cleaned up. The orphanage told her that they get one new child A DAY. I am hoping our Olivia would no longer be one of those babies - but my heart still hurts for them. Olivia should already have been moved into our transition home and is being well fed, held, hugged, and cleaned. So to those that say that 'it's all about the money' - yes - we are paying alot of money to our agency in Ethiopia - but it is for the months that my child will be taken care of..... versus the alternative - her staying in an orphanage. When I told Tony about the orphanage he clammed up until he said, "When we go on our trip - I'm not going to any orphanages. I can't take seeing that." To which I said in a completely not-so-submissive fashion, "Oh we WILL go. We have to. We have to be Jesus to those children, to hold and love them if only for a brief time." Besides that, that is the very purpose of praying and begging God to provide for the kids to go - so that they can visit and play with the older kids in the orphanages and have a love for missions and orphans birthed in them. Or will it be further birthed in us. Time will tell. And then I got to thinking ----- how much are we just like those precious babies? Covered in our own stench and filth?? Every little white lie, every lustful glance, every gossiped word -- just more and more throw up we are covering ourselves with. And yet ---- Christ still came to us. When he was a Prince - he left Perfection to come to where we live. To pick us up, getting himself covered in our stinking sin. And then to clean us up, make us new - and adopt us as his own. To take us home with him so that yes, when we mess ourselves again, and we will - or throw up sin all down our shirt - Jesus will wipe us clean once more. Cause that's what loving fathers do. I thank God I am adopted, and I thank God for the picture he has made so clear for us in this process to adopt one of his little ones. The difference is that Christ comes to us and adopts us - all we had to do was call out to him and ask to be his child. These children don't have the option of asking to have a father. That's where the church needs to step up and follow the command of Christ to look after them. And that's where the church is falling down on the job. Although it is encouraging to see some churches in America now waking up to the orphan crisis. ------------------------------------------------------- Months back we had reports from one of our visiting families about the conditions of the babies in one of the orphanages they visited. Babies sleeping on wooden planks in cribs, wet and cold. No diapers. Extreme diaper rash. A sweet friend of mine started collecting cloth diapers and forming crews to make waterproof diaper covers to send. She then formed teams to take them over to the orphanages in Ethiopia, and now also, Uganda. Did I happen to also mention that this young mom shares the same DTE date as us for a baby girl, has a little boy already, AND had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor??? I don't want to hear anyone else say they don't have the time or the resources, or even the emotional capacity to adopt or help orphans - and that goes for myself as well!!! We formed our own sewing team with 3 ladies showing up at church with me one Saturday morning to cut, pin, and sew more sweet diaper covers. Thank you ladies!!! (especially kind Debra who took fragments home to finish for me!)

Doesn't make sense does it?

Disclaimer: I am not in a very good mood so I probably wont be one to mince words with this post

So here is the newest blurb to be making it's way around Facebook:

"Doesn't make much sense does it? Homeless go without eating. Elderly go without medication. Mentally ill go without treatment. Troops go without proper equipment. Veterans go without benefits they were promised. Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. Charity starts at home. 1% will repost this and 99% will not. I know I'm one of those 1%."



No, it doesn't make sense.



It doesn't make sense that I can ask someone to help a little child and they tell me they can't afford to, and then go drop $40 (more than the cost of helping that child, by the way) on one dinner at Chili's.

It doesn't make sense that it takes us, as Americans, the most prosperous people in the world, years to decide if God is calling us to do anything --- adopt, missions work, sponsorship, etc. But it takes usually less than a week to decide to purchase a new car.

It doesn't make sense that children in this country feel slighted if they only have a Playstation 2 while their friends have all moved on to an XBox. While children in another country are digging through a trash dump to find a rotten banana to have as their meal for the entire day.

It doesn't make sense that my children can play in the shower until all the hot water is used up, while children in another country are bathing in sewage.

It doesn't make sense that I can pay $4 for a case of clean water out of plastic bottles anytime I want and children in another country are dipping those same, but filthy bottles, in brown, bacteria- laden water just to have something to drink.

It doesn't make sense that international adoptions are even needed, that we are spending massive amounts of money, because the mother of my daughter could no longer afford to feed her or care for her. And there are no governmental programs like foster care, Medicaid, or WIC to help her. It doesn't make sense a mother would have to tear a child away from her breast, just to give her the chance to continue to take a breath.

And yet we have the right to complain, while we live in the most blessed country to have ever graced this planet? God has blessed America with more provisions than we could ever possibly use. And is there waste? Yes. And is there government mismanagement of money? Yes. Should the elderly, homeless, and veterans be taken care of? Of course. But out of that 1% that are posting the above on Facebook - how many of those are actually getting their hands dirty in a soup kitchen? feeding programs for the elderly? Surely they are all giving sacrificially to charity close to home???? Most aren't helping much in their own backyard, "yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first."

My problem is with the last line - as if being a citizen of this country should make us any better than those living in a third world country, many whose countries have no infrastructure or economic means to even help themselves. Corruption is everywhere, but there ARE good organizations which are doing great things that you could stand beside.

Where you live should not determine IF you live. 22,000 children will die, just today. And those on Facebook think it doesn't make sense we may be helping the other ones struggling to survive?




Out of what we, as Christians, are given - BY GOD - as everything we have is given to us BY HIM - Christians tithe an average of 1% of our income. Lower than even during the Depression.

And of that 1% we generously give - churches then distribute 1% of that to missions. The rest is used for church up-keep, paving parking lots, programs for our children. So 99% comes back to us generous Christians in the form of feeding our souls.

So 1% of 1% goes to the very commandment that Jesus gave in Matthew 10:42 to take care of his little ones. It doesn't make sense does it??

A child-like faith

So the other day I got schooled by my son. And it really makes me proud that he called me out.

But first things first - I need to announce that if you haven't noticed the side thermometer - we MET our goal of $5630 for our referral fee!! In little increments of $10-$30 from Olivia's store!! And a few sweet donations to boot.

A referral fee is the last amount of money you pay to 'seal the deal' when you get your baby's photo and history - THE CALL. The money helps pay court costs, medical costs, and everyday orphanage care for our child.

Anyway, you get THE CALL and then have to return your acceptance papers and $5630 in just a few days. So to have this money in the bank thrills me.

So when the boys found out that a holiday market at their school had pushed us to $5628 they were so excited and wanted to know - "NOW can we go get her!". Well no, not now. We still have to wait til we're number one and then we'll be able to give them the money to accept her. (which by the way, we are now #12, I think)

To which Seth asked, "so then how much more money do we need?"

Me: "Well, we need a minimum of about $10,000. And that's just for me and your daddy to go on the first trip and me on the second."

Him: (in a huff) "so you're just hoping that you'll get enough money for you and dad to go!!"

Me: "It's not really hoping Seth. I have faith that God will provide enough for us to go."

Him: (now mad) "so you don't have enough faith that God will give us enough money for us all to go see her! You should have enough faith that he can give enough for us all to go!!!"


To which I had to give it to him - yes - I would love for my kids to be able to go with us to meet their sister, play with the children at the orphanages, see poverty first-hand, and hopefully birth in them a desire and love for God's children who are so often forgotten. I would love for them to go on this trip so that they will never forget.

But no - I guess I don't have the faith that God would provide for those tickets too. Cause that's a lot of money. And He's already done so much for us. How much more can I ask Him for??

However, as I told Tony - what lesson will I be teaching Seth if I push him to dream small? Isn't this entire adoption a huge dream to begin with? And what if he really does have God telling his little heart that he will go on this trip? And I tell him he needs to just ignore that?

So the question is now - do we take that big leap of faith and tell him "come on buddy, let's go get that passport..." or do we sit back and wait to see if God moves on that front too?

Being an adult stinks. I wish I had the child-like version of this faith journey all the time..

Our Father Came

In February, 2010 I became engrossed in the story of a father's love. The Haiti earthquake had just hit and news bombarded us from every side. But in the midst of the chaos, one story made it's way to the forefront of my mind. The story of a father, who went to Haiti, to rescue his son. A son that they had been planning for, preparing for, and dreaming of for years. He saw his son in trouble, and he went to bring him home.

Ernest and Ronel Parker then slept 9 days on a hard Embassy floor - waiting to come home to their family. With disaster and death all around them - the son clung to his father, his hero father, asking "we go now?"

On his mother Debra's blog, she wrote of the day Ernest left for Haiti: "He did not have an ounce of fear in his body. He was more determined than I may have ever seen him before. The look in his eye was intense and his heart was beating just a bit faster. He was going to fight for his son. He did not care where he would sleep. He did not care what he would eat. He was not scared of what danger there could be. Nothing would stop him. A father's love was the drive behind the strength."

A Father's Love...... this time of year, as we celebrate the season - we see twinkling lights, wrapped gifts, and we picture the sweet, sweet picture of an infant in a manger.

And while that story should be celebrated, I think just as much, we need to focus on the impact of that sweet child. That it was not the birth of the babe that impacts us, but the arms of the Father coming to bring us home to our family.He did not care what he would eat. He did not care where he would sleep. He was not afraid of the dangers that he might face. He was coming to bring his children home.

But still, do we realize? Our world is no less broken than Haiti still is today. Broken by the sins of greed and hatred. Littered with the trash of immorality and perversion. Full of plague and pestilance, growing day by day. Spiritual death is all around us and increases every day.

And yet our father came to suffer through those days to bring us home.

And how often do we, instead, of being comforted in his arms, tell him, "just a moment, I need to stay outside and play in this rubble."

How often do we, instead of running and yelling from the roof-tops - "Our father is here to take us home, he will take all who come to him!!" Do we instead keep his gift to ourselves as we are ashamed of our status as his children.

How often do we, instead of talking to him and loving him, do we instead, stay pent up in our own rooms until Sunday, when we might emerge to tell him hello and then go back to our own cares?

Christ did not come to be a babe in the manger. Christ came to bring us home. To rescue us.

And he did not come to have us sing quick 'hello', but to worship him for the gift of our adoption. And to tell the world of his love. And to bring others into his arms and out of the destruction. To show love to those that have no one else to help them.

Spiritual death is all around. And you never know when the walls of judgement will fall down on top of you. When the plague of sin will destroy your joy, your health, and your life. Only through Christ can you have the peace that no matter how hard this world is, no matter how bad you may have once been, you are still loved, and it will be alright. And that he is still here, ever present, always watching - and doing miracles in the lives of his children. He is alive and active.

Do you know who your Father is? Because over 2000 years ago, he came so that he could take you home. All you have to do is run to his arms.

The terrible 2's strikes again

Yes, I do realize my youngest is almost 5.

I'm talkin about ME.

You know, the one who has faith God will provide for this adoption..
until the due dates for payments loom near.

You know, the one who has faith that God has the perfect daughter destined for our family..
until I get down that it is taking so long.

You know, the one who has faith that God loves me..
until bad things happen.

Bad things like lay-offs. Again. The third time in the last year. Unless I've lost count, which is possible.

Last time was the week before Christmas. At least this time we had a month to go...
Last time I had a mini temper tantrum. O.k., a big, full-out, screaming-stamping-my-feet temper tantrum.

This time I had a mini melt down. O.k., a stay-in-my-pajamas-and-avoid-all-conversation-as-I-sit-in-a-corner-and-pout temper tantrum.

Last time, God provided another job in two days. And I chastised myself for my lack of faith. I even wrote a blog about how stupid I had been.

This time, God provided another job in three days. And so I am now chastising myself for my lack of faith. And writing a blog about it. So I can once again look back later at how immature my Christian walk can be.

We had been praying for him to get a better job where he could move up and be successful enough for me to scale back my hours more when the baby gets here. His last job was quickly showing itself to be a dead end. A big, fat dead end where a boss gives you no work to do, you beg for work to do, and he assures you it will come, not to worry about loosing your job. And then he lays you off the next morning.

This job has an exciting boss who is pumped about his partnership and is planning on growing and succeeding together. Kind of like we had been praying for. And silly me for worrying about God taking away his crappy job. And having a temper tantrum. And acting like a two-year old. You would think I would learn.

Another job in three days in a bad economy. It's kind of like He has a big plan which is better than mine isn't it?? You would think I would learn....

Dumpster Diven'

I'm almost embarrassed to write this post, almost... but as not so much embarrasses me anymore (too many years married to Tony??) - here goes...

In an attempt to journal the crazy things my kids do, I couldn't leave this nugget of information out as I'm sure my son will greatly appreciate my sharing when he is trying to get a date or get into a good college.

He's an addict. And I'm o.k. with that (most of the time). My son is a dumpster diver. There. I said it. He loves to go with his Daddy to the county dump on Saturday to "hunt for treasure". And he's proud of it.

Since I'm not a dumpster diver myself, as I understand it, there is a special "Treasure Dumpster" where he finds his stash. He's come home with an ambulance, goggles you "can see race cars in!!!", barely used bikes, which his Daddy then changes out a seat on or replaces a tire tube in - and they're good as new. They have then given these bikes to neighborhood kids that don't have bikes, or taken them to Goodwill. Tony's highlights of the year were a real barber's chair to cut the kid's hair, and a good as new pitching machine for the ball team. Like son, like Daddy.

Now that I have completely grossed you out that we allow our son to bring home treasures from the county dump, (and most likely secured it that you wont let your kids play with my kid's toys anymore..) let me get to the point...

We Americans throw away half a pizza un-eaten, left-overs that we 'just don't feel like eating again tomorrow', shoes that were 'so old I had them in high school'. And yet still, we often are able to say, without a hint of sarcasm, that we can't afford to help out children in poverty. It amazes me. Even in a recession/depression, as we tighten our belts and watch our money more carefully, we still have more than we need. But maybe not all that we want.

In a personal reference letter a great friend wrote for me for my adoption packet, he wrote that I was "passionate for social justice." And that made me cringe. Social justice today has come to mean Michelle Obama's pie explanation - we need to take some of your slice of pie to give to someone else who doesn't have as much pie. And while that imagery fits - it is still wrong.

Today's social justice in America is - the government taking what they think is your excess, and (wastefully spending) on those that don't have an excess. And that, to me - is not justice, that's stealing.

But how much good could we do if instead of being forced to give, our wages stolen out of our hand and given to another - that we would be known as a Christian society that instead just gives. To hang on to our excess, to turn our eyes from those in need because we never know when we may need that extra money, is not Christlike. That's more like greed.

Because even if my husband is laid off again, even if my car is repo-ed, even if we have our house fore-closed on and have to rent a smaller place - we still have more than we need. And that's painful to realize.

So my little son - we are so, so blessed that you can find your treasures at the dump. That you can smile over a new toy. We are so, so blessed that our children have more than they need. That they have more than one meal a day and it does not come from a garbage pile. Just something to think about in these tough economic times.

As we are able to bring gently used items home to our clean home, soak them down with Lysol and anti-bacterial wipes --- there are thousands of children around the world who don't have that luxury. Their treasures are not used bikes, or push toys - but scraps of food. Food that is needed just to make it to the next day. To another day of scavenging on the streets, or the city dump. This is the images that have been on my mind lately - a place in the very city I visited in Africa. I place that I didn't know about until recently. A place that many of the orphans that come into agency placement may come from.

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12



What is it that God would have you to do with that which he has given you?
Help others to have clean water Sponsor a child in another country give to a poor village help mother's and babies in need provide help for street orphans give a barefoot child a pair of shoes

I want different kids

When discussing the logistics of adopting, Tony originally had said he wanted to take the kids with us to Ethiopia. I disagreed. The logistics of a trip to Ethiopia, with 3 kids in tow, to pick up a new baby, who may or may not have problems attaching to us - was a little too much for me to stomach. Picture 3 kids on a plane for 18 hours, 4 kids on the way back. 3 who may experience stomach problems, and a baby in diapers who most likely will have her own intestinal problems. Nope. Not happening. As much as I would like it to. I didn't like knowing that I would be needing to devote everything to this new little daughter, but knowing that my other kids needed me too. Safety was not my concern. Many parents have taken children and felt very safe. Addis Ababa is an extremely safe city..... Nope - it all boiled down to stomach issues, sadly.

Then the two trip rule was put into place. So now we must travel to Ethiopia, spend time with Olivia, before appearing before court to attest that we do want to be her parents. So time spent in the orphanage, most likely time spent seeing Ethiopia, visiting the out-laying orphanages, hopefully seeing more of Compassion's work (or my kids!) while we are there. Being able to play with kids of a different color, language, and economic status and see they are just the same as we are. See the joy the kids at Compassion have at having faith in God vs. faith in Daddy's paycheck and American comforts. Now this was something I could wrap my mind around. We would not be able to take physical custody of Olivia yet as she will need to remain at the transitional home until we get her US Visa. But the kids would be able to love on her, see Ethiopia, and see the sights that changed my life.

And could it change theirs?

So for about a month, I have been praying for God to throw open His floodgates of blessings on our first trip - to be able to take my own munchkins on a 36 hour plane trip to learn a lesson that no video, no book, no sermon would ever be able to teach them. OR, that God would fling those doors shut and I would be at peace knowing that it was not what was best for my kids at this time in their lives.

As our pastor preached today, Satan wants to rob and steal these little ones from us. To tear their hearts away from God, whether now, or in their rebellious teenage years, or in college. But I hope, and pray, that our kids would have their faith foundation so firm, so strong - at such an early age - that they would be true soldiers for Christ the rest of their lives, Ethiopia trip or not. A witness to the need for missions, the need for loving the least of these, the power of God's hand when Christians stand up and say "use me".

I want my kids to be different. And being different, and not of this world, is a good thing.

Addisyn, the 15 year old daughter to Amy at "Building the Blocks", recently wrote the following. Addisyn has 3 biological brothers and FIVE adopted siblings. She just returned home from traveling to Ethiopia with her mom to bring home her newest baby sister:

Re: adoption

"What I didn't know then was how God would use this experience to mold me into becoming who I am today. What I didn't know was that God would use our experience to create a passion for the least of these. What I didn't know then was how glad I would be that He did."

Re: Visiting Ethiopia

"Being at the preschool that day also made me realize how much I had been taking for granted. I no longer wanted to just claim to be a Christian - I wanted to LIVE as a Christian. Instead of just memorizing the verses in the Bible - I wanted to put them into action. I knew that I couldn't return home and go on with my life the way it had been. I couldn't open my closet door and see 12 pairs of shoes in there without thinking about those left behind with none. I couldn't go into the mall with friends and spend $15 on yet another t-shirt knowing that $15 would have fed 5 children at the preschool for a month. I couldn't just be a regular American teenage girl anymore - I was different. And different, I am realizing, is a good thing."

Counting the cost

I realized in trying to explain yesterday why we are adopting, I did a pretty poor job. I'll just blame my negativity on PMS.

I told them adoption was hard, WAY hard.
I told them adoption was stressful, WAY stressful.
And I told them adoption was expensive, VERY expensive.

I also told them that were it not for God's leading, I probably would have given up a long time ago.

(Well aren't I just the warrior for Christ that I thought I was 12 months ago??)

Truth is - while it is hard, stressful, expensive, and about 26 other negatives I could think of to describe my feelings and experiences - it isn't all about me anyway....

While the reality of the fact that having 4 kids will probably nix any plans for neat vacations like New York City, cruise ships, trips to Jamaica, etc. --- will sacrificing those be worth the cost of feeding / clothing / loving another?

While the reality of the fact that having kids share rooms, closets, and clothes will make things a little more cramped and uncomfortable - will my children sacrificing that privacy be worth them being able to see what the love of Christ is capable of? To grow up with a heart of compassion?

While the reality of the fact that saving for adoption means less money for eating out at nice restaurants, less money to buy new tennis shoes we may want, less money to have to put my little girl in a dance class or little boy in gymnastics - at the end of the day, will those things be missed or even remembered? Will my lack of a gym membership ruin my life completely? Will we miss not being able to go out to the theaters and settling for $1 RedBox movies instead? Will my lack of an iPhone damage my ability to parent a child who has come from nothing?

No -- our sacrifices aren't really even sacrifices when you sit down and list them out. Minor inconveniences maybe. Small disappointments that last a day or week, perhaps. But will my children, ANY of them, truly miss any aspect of their childhood because of the cost of answering God's call to help the 'least of these'?

No -- I think it is when we, as the world's elite, choose those little pleasures that add up, and leave no scraps to throw to the poor or needy; innocently ignoring these little ones because we are too engrossed in our own lives to see, that there is a cost...


Not everyone is meant to adopt. Not everyone is meant to travel to a third world country. I'm just as guilty as the next at not doing enough. But if you are a Christian, if you claim Christ as your own - has it cost you anything? Or is it costing them?

Job 31:15-17; 28.
"Did not he who made me in the womb make them?
Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?
If I have denied the desires of the poor
or let the eyes of the widow grow weary,
if I have kept me bread to myself,
not sharing it with the fatherless .....

Then these also would be sins to be judged,
for I would have been unfaithful to God on high."


**Take time to read this eye-opening post that will be bothering me the rest of this evening. Amy has a much better way with words than I do.

What you may never see

We are finishing up a fantastic week of vacation at my favorite place - the ocean. I've told Tony that I feel God the most when I'm sitting by the surf. Listening to His whispering in the waves, seeing His fingerprints on the sand and in the sun on the ocean.

We're all packed up to start home early in the morning. And I'm up after midnight feeling sorry for myself. Olivia has been on my mind so much this week. Imagining taking her down to the pool for the first time. Seeing little beautiful baby toes feeling sand for the first time.

So I sit here and cry. Why put ourselves through this? She's probably not even born yet. We have 3 wonderful, amazing children who have made us smile and laugh all week. Who have brought smiles to even strangers passing by. Children that I love more than my own life. And yet I know I am still lacking. Incomplete. Sad. It's not a side of me I show many people.

But... I know this is the path we are meant to be on. My mind tells me that I know that there is a reason for our dossier, which should have been done in February, to still be in a FedEx envelope, in my luggage, waiting for a fax of a document that never came this week, or last week, or the five weeks before. There's a reason why those that submitted their dossiers in March are now in the top 10 waiting, and I'm not even on the list yet. God had a different plan for them than he did for me. For my Olivia.

But.. even as I sit here in my own private pity party. I have reason to celebrate. I belong to a yahoo AWAA group for adoptive parents who are amazing moms and dads. These Christians pray for each other, encourage each other, and love on each other. After a month of delays, problems, slow-downs, these Christians set aside 2 hours this past Sunday to pray specifically for all the open cases, all the difficulties, all the children and families waiting.

And here's what you may never see - the miracles those prayers brought this week. Parents finally getting the word they could travel for court, parents finally getting the word they could go to pick up their children, and many parents who received their long awaited referrals for their new children. All this week. Prayer works.

And that's what you may never see - if you don't step out and say "YES" to living a life to it's fullest. You don't see how God is working in the lives of a missionary you are supporting - how prayers for health or funds were answered. You don't see how God provided funds for the many families like us that are adopting, often miraculously or right at the moment of need. You don't see how a child's life is changed, and their new desire to become a pastor, because of a small sacrifice on your part every month, or a letter telling them you love them. You don't see the widow who can now provide for her family, because of a gift equal to a dinner at a nice restaurant.

You don't see those things if you take the safe road. The comfortable road. It's so much easier on the road where you stay un-involved. I know - I stayed there for many years. Thanking God that we were so comfortable and content. But content is not what God desires for you, or for me. The enemy likes us to be content because when we are content, we are quiet. We are stagnant.

God wants you to see what His power can do. What your prayers can do. And you wont see that if you don't step out in faith and quit saying "we'll never be able to do that" "I would love to do that but...." "I wish I could help but....."

What is God calling you to do?? Even if it leaves you crying out to him?


Spend four minutes watching this video - I'm sure God will be using it to spur many of His children to action. Will you be one of them? Or would watching the video make you too uncomfortable so you'll pass it by?

Start small. You don't have to change the world. You just have to decide to make a change. Sponsor a child and know that you are letting God use you. You can never imagine where he may lead you.

Wake up call

Ever think things are going along great and then you hear or find out something that makes you stop dead in your tracks and say, "woooo, that's BIG NEWS. I need to let others know about that!" Well, this is old news, but still made me stop dead in my tracks so I'm letting others know about it.


A friend let me know about a free audiobook download from www.christianaudio.com/free

The book for May is "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns. Let me just say. It is a MUST read/listen to book for all Christians. However, I didn't realize that Mr. Stearns is the CEO of World Vision and a 'competitor' of Compassion. But in the world of rescuing children from poverty, there aren't really competitors, only team-mates, true? Disclaimer: But in my opinion, Compassion International still rocks, big time. So go sponsor a child through Compassion. Like right now.

What blew me away was a chapter devoted to Christ's description of the end times and his separating of all people into groups, as a shepherd would separate sheep and goats. The story takes place in Matthew 25, and I'm sure many of you have heard it many times.

^{Matthew 25: 31-46} "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left."Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

So - the "Hole in the Gospel"?? Here is Christ, describing the Day of Judgment, (and he should know right?) Although I had read this story before, I didn't see the obvious implications until pointed out by Stearns -

Christ DID NOT say "all of you who have believed in me are on my right"
Christ DID NOT say "all of you who have prayed to me to save you are on my right"
Christ DID NOT say "all of you who go to church and praise my name are on my right"
Christ DID NOT say "all of you who are a good person and haven't killed anybody on my right"

Christ DID say, that those who fed his children, looked after the poor, cared for the sick, clothed those in need - would be rewarded with eternal life. And it was also pointed out that even those in this category were surprised that the criteria for their salvation was not a sinner's prayer - but how they responded to the calls of Christ. Something they had done in Jesus' name.

And for those on the left who were taken away for eternal punishment - in Stearns translation it was because, "For I was hungry and you had more than enough to eat, I was thirsty and you drank bottled water, I was a stranger and you wanted to deport me, I needed clothes and you needed more clothes, I was sick and you judged me for what led to my sickness, I was in prison and you said I had gotten what I deserve."

How is today's church stacking up in terms of which side we will be on? Is the church of today so focused on making sure we are against all things evil, and for getting as many people in the pews, for getting as many people as possible to say a sinner's prayer - that they have forgotten the basic commands of "feed my sheep, look after the least of these, a cup of water to one of these little ones, welcome a little child in my name"???? Those led away as goats were surprised as they thought they had done it all right but were found to be in want - and that frankly, is terrifying.

Stearns also stresses that he does not mean to indicate that good works is what will get you into Heaven. But that it is the deeds that you do that indicate the true faith that you have. Salvation can not be bought like fire insurance and put away in a lock box until the day it is needed. "Prayed prayer. Check. Go to church most of the time. Check. Drop a check in a basket most of the time. Check."

Salvation, and the true gospel, is a gradual process of growing and of becoming more like Christ.

I have told many of our plans to adopt, or of sponsoring a child through Compassion and more times than I can even count - I have heard (and I use to say this too - so no stone throwing!)

"I would love to do something like that, but I just can't afford to right now."

With a story as transparent as this - how can we afford NOT to???

James 2:18
But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

Just a little Wednesday Wisdom to think about. It was a big wake up call for me. "None of us are Christ-like yet. Gotta keep working at that. Check."

All in the perspective

Yesterday I began treating a new child - a two year old with Down's Syndrome. With her little pudgy fingers, small eyes - I'm sure many a person in Wal-Mart or at restaurants would have looked at her with pity and thought, "Poor family. Poor little girl."

But that little girl was the apple of her mother's eye. That little girl would flash me the most beautiful smile I think I have seen on any baby girl I have ever worked with. And that mother gets to see that smile every day. That little girl will never stamp her feet because she doesn't have the brand name clothing her friends have. She will never pout as her hand-me-down car isn't as great as her friends. She will never tell her mother she doesn't love her - because she is all love.

In the same way, the last couple days I have had Holetta on my mind. A slum of Ethiopia. Where the houses had more cracks and openings than I could count - allowing the turrential rains from the rainy season or the cold of the night to freely enter. The dirt floor with a feed bag to sleep on. One room divided with a piece of cloth. One bench to sit on. One dish pan to cook with. "Poor family. Poor children."

Then I look to another house, one with heat which can roast you in the cold weather and air which can freeze you in the summertime. Three frying pans. Three. Four different sized cooking pots and an extra for the heck of it. Even four different sized baking clays. Two bathrooms. SIXTY different kinds of drinking apparatus (I counted) - mugs, juice cups, nice cups, plastic cups, sports cups. A whole room just to house a washing machine and dryer. At least 15 different blankets in the house.

The first house - that family will never wish their car was a nicer model. They will never get mad that the flowers they bought for in front are dying. They will never yell at their children when they spill red juice on their furniture. That first house - their children will never say "I don't want to eat that" or "why can't I have an X-box like my buddy".

And yet we can always say - "oh others have so much more than I!" I was sickened by a realty show where the couple needed another home as they lamented the fact that they had THREE storage units full of 'stuff' they couldn't fit in their house. I got mad and left the room..... I have fifty cups - for five people..... Reality check.

But yet, both those families, they are the apple of their Father's eye. Both of them. But who are the ones that are joyful for every day? Who are the ones that praise their Father instead of saying 'why me?' Who are the ones that can count on their Father to provide their every need vs. their own paycheck? It's so easy, especially in this economy, in this time in our life, to let the world cloud over the Sonshine isn't it? Just praising God that sometimes hard times come our way, sometimes depression over a situation sets in, just so we can sit back and see the Son again.

Honestly

Just realized it has been about 2 weeks since I posted last. I must lead a boring life.

The truth is - I didn't have much to say to uplift and encourage, or even get a giggle; so I thought it better to not write at all.

Recently I had a comment on my 'lament of my lack of compassion' post which stated that she was glad to read something real. Something honest. So here we go again folks... gotta get real again.

Honesty: a Christian music artist wrote on his blog about a year ago about his major battle with depression and I thought that was one of the most courageous things he could have done. To put it all out there, to confess his weaknesses, was so strong. Especially with his status in the Christian community. To say, "here I am. I'm not a super Christian. I'm having trouble with my faith just like you do." That was strong.

And I have always admired women/mothers who didn't try to be Miss Suzie Homemaker and sell their lives as perfectly perfect with perfectly perfect children, a perfect marriage, and a perfect hair-do to boot.

I would much rather hear about how their baby threw up on them during church, how none of their shorts will button anymore, and how their slipper got stuck on the crud that hadn't been mopped off the kitchen floor in days. Just to know that someone else doesn't mop everyday somehow makes my heart feel good. Honesty.

So here is my sticky crud, my dear bloggy friends - nothing has happened - we still have great, healthy kids - we still have a close, healthy marriage - and we still have good, stable jobs (for the time being anyway..) We are so blessed compared to so many we know. And yet I have to honestly say that I am struggling.

When we started this adoption, we were warned: "watch out, Satan will be attacking you." And it happened, quickly. Like that same week. I'll spare you all the details but in effect, the father of lies put a huge wedge between us and our church family. So we moved on. And then he did it again. And so we moved on. And since that time, we have been searching for a place to belong, a place to worship, a place to rest. And it hasn't happened. To take someone away from the body of believers, is sufficating. The lies we tell ourselves, the paranoia we feel, keep us from finding that resting place. You feel rejected, and very much like the prodigal son. So far from God but knowing you need to somehow go home.

At this point, I miss God. I miss hearing his voice. I miss feeling his presence. I miss opening the Bible and reading exactly what I needed to read. There is a huge void. Yet I know that it is me who left - and Him who is waiting for me to come back closer.....

And then the guilt - knowing that so many have it far worse, and are leaning on Him. So many have so much more to deal with, and they are resting in His arms. And yet, what is my problem? What a bad Christian I must be?? Isn't his power made strong in our weakness? So why do I feel like I am rejecting that help?

So today I got the best message from a friend with a post from a devotional book called "Rain on Me". It spoke of an analogy of God waiting on us in the storm with the umbrella. We can try to run through the downpour - but God is patiently waiting. Saying "I'm walking in the rain with you, and I'm giving you my umbrella."

It went on to say how when you are walking together under an umbrella, to avoid the rain, you must draw near and close to the one holding it vs. wanting to run on our on through that rain as fast as we can. And how "being under God's umbrella isn't a walk through a park on a sunny day. There is an intimacy to it, though, that one day, we may look back on with longing. We've all heard people say, "I'm glad that time in my life is over, but sometimes I miss how close I felt to God."

Not trying to garner sympathy, or words of compassion (for you compassion gifted souls). Just wanted to put out there that I think we all have moments where we struggle. Where we insist on being the spoiled brat pouting and walking soaking wet in the rain while our Daddy is walking beside us, waiting for us to suck it up and step under his umbrella. So honestly, while I wait for this shower to stop, and pray for the storms to pass over me, I know he's still there. And I know where I need to honestly be.



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Adoption non-news:

** Ethiopia is officially back to a two-trip country. Once for court and again to pick up your child 2-3 months later.

** Our homestudy is still MIA. As of last week they were still waiting on our background checks to come back. And yes, it was scheduled to be done in February. Thank you for asking.

** we are working on getting lots of stuff together for a mega yard sale to take place sometime this spring. Hopefully more info on that will be coming soon. I delegated the sales portion of this adoption adventure to my salesman hubby. We'll see how long that assignment lasts before I pull rank and 'just do it myself' like all women do.

Confessions of a Blogaholic

I confess, I am addicted to adoption blogs. Just being able to follow families from the paperwork chase, to submission of their dossier (oh, dance of joy...), to referral of that sweet baby's face, to travel and home - it is addicting. And I spend way too much time that should be devoted to laundry salivating over little round faces with great big eyes.

And while we are in the mood to confess (or me anyway) - after a Sunday School lesson this past week, I need to confess to all my peeps - I have no mercy. Or very little. It's sad really. Feel free to stop following me at this point.

We did a spiritual gifts survey to which my score in the mercy column, let's just say, it's less than the number of fingers I have. Almost on one hand. As a Compassion advocate, I should probably be fired.

But as I told the teacher, I have mercy, it's just for certain people... To which he said, "that may be the definition of not having mercy." Oh, mercy.

Let me explain - if you are going through a divorce, sorry, I can't help you. If you have just been diagnosed with a strange foot disease, I really don't want to talk about it with you. If your brother's mother-in-law's second cousin was just diagnosed with cancer, I would be lying if I said I would be praying for you. I just can't do it. And up until now, I have felt really, really guilty about that. Like I am an emotional defect. Why is it my hubs has his heart ripped out when he finds out a complete stranger has cancer and my response (inwardly at least) is usually very ho-hum? We've seen a very dear friend fight and die from cancer and as painful as it was to see her go through - she's dining with the creator of the universe right now while I'm eating shredded wheat - who's got it better now?

I know that all sounds very callous and heartless but as I said, I realized that while I don't have the gift of mercy - I think I'm pretty content that I scored when God was giving out the presents none-the-less.

I got the gift of prophecy. Which just sounds cool to me. In the description, it listed those people as "strong convictions and expects others to as well; need to express herself verbally, especially regarding right and wrong; painfully direct when correcting others; persistent in expressing feelings regarding need for change; ability to proclaim God's truth without compromise." Oh honey, if you looked my name up in the dictionary - that might just be the definition! Big mouth, big heart, but also big attitude about telling you about it.

So while I may not be the one to be visiting rest homes weekly or baking casseroles for widowed spouses, I am pretty passionate about showing mercy to those little ones who are so often overlooked. And the way I figure it, since God is perfect, and His plan is perfect, He must think it is perfectly alright that He made me this way. Cause He's got those areas already covered and needs me for other things, right?

So what gift did our Daddy give you?

Too Small to Ignore

Dr. Wess Stafford is the President of Compassion International and I have been reading his book Too Small to Ignore. Where I thought the complimentary book would be a mini infomercial, it has instead turned into a really, really good read. Def. worth buying if I hadn't have gotten it free!

In addition to accounts of his childhood in the jungles of Africa and a missionary boarding school - in one of his chapters he describes the good, warm, touchy-feeley story of Jesus and the children. And this picture took on a whole new light that I never would have seen before:
Just in case you didn't realize - the story of Jesus telling the children to "come to me" is told in 3 Gospels - Matthew, Mark, and Luke. The setting - Jesus is talking to the religious leaders and his disciples about the legality of divorce and marriage.

In the Gospels, the Greek translation describes the children as "babes" with the same word used in "a babe in swaddling clothes" and also as paidion which means young children. So these were probably children age 6 and under, all cooing, gooing, and waving at our Lord.

So in the middle of this adult conversation where children should be seen and not heard, the little ones must have been getting a little rowdy and the disciples started to chastise. And here is where the story begins to take on a new light:

Do you realize that in Mark 10:14, Mark says that when the little children were pushed aside, Jesus, the creator of the universe, was indignant. Indignant: "angered at something unjust or wrong."

So Jesus got mad.. he didn't just lovingly say, "oh no.... let them come to me for just a moment" as the above painting suggests. He got angry. Could you have just seen him, raising his voice at the disciples, perhaps even yelling, "Let the little children come to me!! Don't you DARE hinder them! My kingdom belongs to such as these!" This instance must have made a large enough impact for 3 of the Gospel writers to include it in their synopsis of His ministry. Enough to stand out as an important moment within a life-time of miracles, parables, and wisdom.

What I also didn't realize until pointed out by Dr. Stafford: How often does the scriptures note that Jesus got mad, really furious, and showed it??
1) when the religious leaders were trying to dare Jesus not to heal the man with the withered hand on the Sabbath
2) this incident with the young children
3) in the Jerusalem temple overrun by corruption and consumerism

And, as we know from scripture, in those times, the cripple, as the man was, would have also been most likely a beggar in abject poverty. So who again, did Jesus get passionately angry on account of??

The poor.
The children.
His church.

NOT:
Prostitution
Homosexuality
Thievery
Murder
Tithing

Dr. Stafford also points out, as I stated previously, children were not valued in that society. Their purpose was to be "seen and not heard." But how often now, are the world's children "not seen AND not heard." Where are our priorities and would Jesus be indignant about them? Where does the church of today rank in modeling itself after Jesus' values? Are we doing a good job taking up where He left off and working to fight for those he would have fought for? Just something to make you think...

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Today's words from Tracy ala parenthesis:

My new friend JC from Perpetual Newlyweds started a new blog hop called Words of Wisdom Wednesday, (but I guess you already knew that.... )

Here's the deal -

You post some wise words, a quote you like, on your blogger. Then come linky back to her site. And we'll all take turns commenting on your quote. (that is, if I am intelligent enough to comment, I will try my best.. having three children has severely limited my brain capacity. I mean, I can only remember so many dates of projects due, times medication was given, various appointments, bills due, amount of cheese left in the cheese drawer - before every brain cell starts systematically blowing up. At this rate, I may be a vegetable by their 18th birthdays..)

What reactions we have, and all that. So we can share these words of wisdom. (or lack of, as is often my case...my foot and my mouth have a love/hate relationship.)

(So my quote for the day: )

Charles Spurgeon - "Have you no wish for others to be saved?
Then you are not saved yourself. Be sure of that."

(Ouch. There goes about 75% of today's Christians by my estimation. Makes you stop and contemplate a bit, doesn't it?)

The best Christmas present I didn't have to pay for.

Since he was laid off back in January from a great job with Ryder Trucking, Tony has been working at a job he really couldn't stand. He wasn't being productive, he wasn't able to witness to his customers and share Christ's love with them. He wasn't able to minister to others when they were hurting or in need. See - that's the funny thing most of us don't realize about a successful job. It's not about the money, or the success - it's about doing GOD's work all day, every day; and just getting paid on the side. My two cents anyway.

Anyway, for about two months I had really focused my prayers on him being released from this prison of a job. For him to feel the joy of being out ministering to others instead of being stuck behind a desk being told how worthless he is. For him to feel success again, not for the money but for his happiness.

Last Tuesday my prayers were answered. And I was crushed.

Being laid off the week before Christmas, the day before we were to have our last homestudy. In essence, stopping the adoption dead in it's tracks. No job, no adoption until he had one. And besides that, if he were to take a job making any less than before, just to get us by, we would still have to stop for now. I could see the writing on the wall..

I had a temper tantrum. I'm sure God was very pleased. Or not. I got a gift and I didn't like it. Like a spoiled child. All those what if's? What if it takes him 3 months to get another job? What if he is forced to take a low paying job and it takes us 6 months, or even a year, to start the adoption process again?

I know God is leading us to adopt. I know God will bring Olivia home. But His timing is not my timing. 3 years from now may be his plan, but I don't like that. (stamping my feet like a brat).

I felt like I had miscarried. "You can still have another baby, just not right now."

BUT...... Tuesday night he had an old employee of his call him out of the blue. He hadn't talked to this friend in about 8 months. He told him about the job and he told him he would pass along the info to HIS WIFE who manages a Ryder-type trucking company.

She called Tony Wed. morning at 7:20 to tell him that just that LAST WEEK, they had created a position of outside salesman and had even talked about HIM filling it as they knew about his success at Ryder. He was the only one interviewing.

But, we still had to pray that the pay would be enough. For us to keep on with this homestudy uninterrupted, he would need to be making the same salary as he was. Tony met with the company manager and called me back celebrating like he had just scored the winning touchdown. He said that if he could have designed his own working conditions, it would be this exact job. The manager has the same business ethics and philosophy of the "customer comes first" and "relationship sells". They really hit it off.

Have you ever heard someone loose a job - get a job - all in the same week?? Much less in this economy??? GOD. 250% GOD. We have heard several people say, "you were very lucky." No - it's not about luck. Not in the least. Luck is an abstract. My God is solid.

And the pay? Exactly the same as he was making, car allowance and all. It's just that now he will be making 20-30% commission vs. the 5% he was making before. Pretty good deal. Tony says my prayers gave him the best Christmas present ever. Does that mean I can take back his other gift?

What's funny is that the morning he lost his job, I had emailed him the following verses that God had given me that morning. (Funny is how I forgot them so easily at 6:00 p.m. when he told me he had been laid off):

Isaiah 43:19 "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?"

Isaiah 43:5 "So do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east, and gather you from the west."

I love how when I told the above story to my sister Jerry - she replied in her wisdom that "God did lots of miracles through the generations like in Moses, Joseph, David...... he is still the God of you and me. He is on His throne and wants to make something in your life and in your generation and that is what you are doing. You see satan knows these plan of God, and want to interrupt, but he can't. Nothing is impossible to God."

How silly of me? I wish I had such faith as to not be taken off-guard at God's miraculous works. It is just so humbling when they are in your own life. To realize that even as He spins the planets in their orbits. Even as He controls the tide and the climate. Even as He creates a little baby in it's mother's womb. My God can still give me, his daughter, a perfect Christmas present. Amazing.

Addendum: in Tony's first 3 days on the job, he sold 2 transfer trucks. They weren't sure how to do the paperwork as it had been so long since they had sold a truck. Again, that wasn't Tony - that was God - helping to provide for our adoption, a bonus Christmas present!!