God's in the Details

The last two (or is it 3?) days have been a blur. Texting, emailing, calling, responding, and a whole lot of 'hit refresh, go check Facebook, go hit refresh, stare at photos, go check yahoo group, stare at photos, hit refresh, go check Facebook'. My days have sorta been sucked into a baby time warp which I know I am going to have to break out of pretty soon as the left overs are now vacated from the fridge and the laundry is starting to pile up.

I have been so, so blessed to have 4 (or is it 5?) great friends who all had photo consent forms (meaning they had my permission to see and take pictures of Olivia) - all in Ethiopia at one time to either pick up their children or see their children and attend court. And congrats to one on getting to come home and two on now being legal members of their new families!! (We still need prayer for the US Embassy to step it up and start getting some more of our littles home. There has been a huge lag time in the processing of cases lately.)

These friends have been so, so sweet and have loved on Olivia and been excited to send me photo after photo of her sweet little face. And when I say I am lucky - I am REALLY lucky. Some families have to wait weeks to have another family travel with a form and be able to get new photos back to them. I had them in hand two days later.

As a friend of mine said, "God loves you. And he knew how impatient you were so he planned your referral just right so your friends would be there to be able to send new photos back to you." Yep, my Daddy is into details.

I also am ecstatic that my Ethiopian sister Jerry, who lives in Addis, is so excited about her new niece. (AND she also happens to have a photo consent). Jerry was able to go yesterday to play with Olivia, hug/kiss on Olivia, and report back to me how happy she was and how beautiful a smile she has. I think it is so special that although I cannot give Olivia back her biological family, I can help to give her a loving Ethiopian family to form lifetime bonds with. Jerry also has a friend who's family member works at the center so she knew exactly where it was and was able to get clearance to go and see the baby. Just another little sweet detail.

And one of my most thrilling presents to open has been this little tidbit:

This is a watercolor print painted by another yahoo group member Katie, of Mossy Rock designs. Katie sells these gorgeous prints to raise funds for her own adoption, and does custom orders - so go check her out on etsy, hint-hint.

Last week, Katie emailed me to ask for my address as I had been so down and she wanted to send me a print to try to cheer me up. It is entitled "I will Protect You."



I received the print last Monday. Absolutely fell in love. I even wrote Katie to tell her the baby was exactly how I had pictured Olivia in my mind..

Then we received our gorgeous girl's photo on the following Monday... and pals - LET me tell you ----- I am not allowed to share Olivia's identifying information such as her real name, place of birth, or photos --- but this print painted back in October - could not look more like Olivia if Katie would have had her referral photo by her side as she painted it. It.is.an.exact.replica of the baby's referral photo. It is enough to give you chills.

So once more, God's little details... he had me staring at Olivia's face for a full week and I didn't even know it. Someone told me - "I would consider THAT the first photo you received of the baby!" Better than a 3D Ultrasound!!

And what is really amazing is how I kinda needed that little bit of assurance that yes - this was my baby. This was perfectly planned and she was THE ONE. When you give birth, there really isn't any denying that yes - that little messy, squirming thing is yours. But in adoption, love at first sight has a bit more haze in it. Because I have to admit to you, my mind held that baby, but she was a little, itty bitty, frail, in your arms kind of baby. So when we first saw this healthy, sitting up and playing with a rattle baby - I had a couple moments of 'what?'..... are we completely positive this is our Olivia?? But the moment I set her photo beside the painting, I knew. God planned this. And he even sent me a little message to say - "see.... I knew her before the foundations of the world." (Remember how I need him to thump me in the head to get things through sometimes??) And the peace that I have felt with this adoption, of this child.... and the love that continues to grow day by day with each glance at her photo.... this is my baby. And that blows.my.mind.

His plan is perfect. And all that waiting. And all those tears. And all that time... he was just putting stroke by perfect stroke on the masterpiece he is creating that we will call our family. It will be perfect. It sure feels perfect.

First Care Package to be delivered to OUR GIRL!!!!!!!

I sadly sent our first care package to my friend Angi last Tuesday as she was leaving Friday.
Figured it would be coming back to me unopened after a week.
It barely got there on time Thursday.
It flew to Ethiopia and arrived Saturday.


And hopefully it will be delivered to baby girl Olivia Wages tonight as we sleep as we got our referral today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She is 8 months old. And I just keep telling people, she is just so healthy. We are so blessed as she has been very well taken care of. Her sweet little photos though, so, so sad. Can't wait to see her face light up in smiles! (however, I do NOT think she will be in any photos in that 3-6 month p.j. outfit)


So the call:
I was leaving a visit at 12:30 and as I went down their steps I heard the 'African Lullaby' song I had set. So I scramble to pull the phone out of my pocket ------- and hang up on her.

So I call Jennifer back, as I shake like a leaf, and she tries to get Tony on conference as "this is your referral call!!"

Tony doesn't answer (he was in court and couldn't)... so I go ahead and get the scoop! But don't even think to ask her name! Then drive 15 min to try to find him at the courthouse, run down a handicap ramp to jump in his arms and say "we have our girl!!!".

But then he has an appointment (arg)... so I go and pick up the kiddos..... and then we go home to wait for Daddy to get home to open up our email cause for Pete's sake, it's been going on 2 hours and I don't even know her name yet!!!

When Tony comes home we all sit on the sofa and open up our referral email and photos together... so, so, stinkin sweet.

And then we go into shock for about 10 minutes.... the mental picture I had of an itty bitty little Olivia is now a pretty big, almost toddler Olivia?!? BUT you know what, I am really happy about that!! As I said, she has been taken care of VERY well. And from her history, she was VERY loved. So we are VERY, VERY blessed to have a healthy little girl and can't wait to go and hug on her and get some more smiles!

So when do we go? Now (after we submit the acceptance paperwork), we wait for a court date. Recent families have traveled around 2 months after referral. So maybe late February??

Do we bring her home then? No. We will attend court and if we pass, she will officially be ours and we can post her photos all over the internet and Facebook (until then, as she isn't legally ours, we can't share her precious photos, sorry! But come see me and I just might have one on me, maybe, probably)

So we hopefully will be able to bring her home after passing court, then making it through embassy, and THEN we can go back and get her... maybe a Spring baby??

Whew, my head is pounding. I think it's from all the spinning it did today! And I know this post is almost as choppy and incomprehensible as my speech has been all day - my apologies!!!

The Day I Killed Santa

My friend Jen Hatmaker has the BEST blog posts. (And by friend, I kinda mean, like, I know her. Like, she's an adoption mommy friend. Or really, like, she kinda posts on our yahoo group board occasionally and I follow her on facebook. So kinda like she has no clue who I may be. But hey, I'm still callin friend rights.)

SO, my friend Jen posted the following post a couple weeks back that immediately went viral and was reposted, retweeted, and read outloud on media outlets across the country.

The Christmas Conundrum

And it made me think, really think - what have we done right, or wrong in bringing our brood up to celebrate the season correctly? or incorrectly?

So the afternoon of me reading the above post about the cons of creating the god-image of Santa Claus --- who often trumps our kid's own God-image of the Christ child and his reason for coming on that night 2000 years ago --- my littlest angel says to me:

"Mommy, is there, or is there not a real Santa Claus??? Tell me the troof. Cause JoJo says there is a Santa Claus and Nicky says there is not!"

And at that moment I had a decision to make -
1) lie to my child, or bend the 'troof' again or
2) take this newfound wisdom and run with it. So I ran.

"Well honey, many, many years ago there was a man named Nickolas. And he loved Jesus SOOOO much that he would make and give presents to children on Jesus' birthday because he loved him so much."

Angel - "So the Santa at the mall is not real?"

"No, the Santa at the mall is just a man who is dressed up and is pretending to be that man who lived so long ago, because he was such a good man....... and loved Jesus so much"

Angel - "So that man lived a long, long, long time ago??"

"Yes Baby. He lived a long, long time ago."

Angel (in an octave and volume slightly higher than a 757 engine -
"SO SANTA IS DEAD!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!"

aye-ya-ya. So that my friends, is how to gently kill Santa. Feel free to take notes if needed. The cost of later therapy is entirely your responsibility. Merry Christmas!

Demon Chickens

(I bet you clicked on the link just to see where I was going with this didn't you ???)

My eldest son is extremely artistic.
Like, better-than-his-mom, artistic. Which I am completely ok with.
About a year ago, he gave his dad this egg he had made at school that
never fails to make me giggle. I leave it in our car, just so on bad
days, I can put the visor down and smile at the silly. Here ya go, I
present to you - the Demon Chicken:

So it seems we have made the chicken mad. We've kinda known the chicken was mad. Maybe it was the way we
started loosing friends in really random, weird ways. Like the WEEK we
decided to adopt. Maybe it was the way weird things started making us
have to leave churches we loved. (loose a church? loose your prayer
support, your spiritual support, your emotional support) Maybe it was
the way Tony kept loosing jobs. Maybe it was the way things started
breaking and money owed started piling up. Or health scares. Or the
lies whispered that made us doubt. But yes, I think we have definitely
made the chicken mad. And yes, I think he has bit us, kicked us, and
thrown us to the ground. More in the last two weeks than ever. And I'm
getting sick of it.

1 Peter 5:8
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around
like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

And as I read somewhere recently - lions don't look for the big
kill. They look for the straggler, the weak, the small. They are
chickens. They don't go head to head usually with the big bull
elephant. They go after the little, the innocent, the weak, the
helpless. They usually go after the young.
It's the same with the enemy. He goes after the children. The helpless.
All over the world, there are little ones who are being picked on:
Stolen. Sold into slavery. Suffering from poverty. Dying. Prostituted.
Abandoned.

But adoption is God's plan to thwart that. Those children who otherwise
would fall prey to the enemy are led by God to a safe place. A place
where they are loved. A place where they are taught to love HIM. A
place where their story is used to show others God's miracles and God's
power.

And the chicken hates that. So he tries to stop it. Again, and again,
and again.

It would boggle your mind if I had every adoptive parent list every
weird or strange thing that has happen to them since they decided to
adopt. It's not in our heads. It is an attack. And it is on us, so that
we will back out, and leave the little ones prey to his cowardly
attacks.

But being pecked at isn't fun. It isn't pleasant or funny. It is real.

BUT - my God is bigger. And HE is stronger. And HIS angels are around
my daughter, and around us. BUT the battle, while raging above and
around us, we know who wins ultimately. And that makes me so much
stronger, and more angry, and a little more ticked off at the attacks,
and will help to sustain me until we have her home in our arms.

Silly demon chicken.

Psalm 138: 7-8
"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you
stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right
hand you save me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands."

Beans, beans, good for the heart....

For those of you who haven't been following me for as long, I will always lovingly refer to Amy of "Building the Blocks" as my 'pickle jar lady'.

You see, Amy had just started her own adoption (her 4th!) a week or so before us and had set aside a pickle jar for her family to contribute their loose change to. Just a symbol - "God, we've got it started, we're going to work towards the goal, but we know you can fill it.." A couple days later, their pickle jar was running over as their entire adoption was generously donated by a spirit-led donor. So what did our family do? We put out a pickle jar of course!!!

Now our jar (which is actually a juice jug, but let's not split hairs) - hasn't been filled in one day, but I can say, over the last 2 years, God has put more change in that money jar than we ever could have been able to do on our own. Every penny has come from him. And so far, every penny we have needed, he has provided, on time and in the amount needed.

But back to my pickle jar lady.... Last year, I read this post. Amy and her family had sworn to eat beans and rice for dinner every day for a MONTH and then donate the money saved toward their 'pay it forward' adoption fund for another family. I was floored by not only the simplicity of their idea but the lesson that was being taught to their children. The majority of the children in this world will have one meal a day, if that, of the same ingredients. And our children throw away food on a daily basis... or snub their noses or whine and say 'I don't liiiiike this...'.

And while I LOVED the idea, I could only go for one night of a lesson, cause I'm all chicken and didn't want to deal with the recourse of a houseful of 3 men and a month of beans.. (although now that Addison has gotten older - I think I am seriously more afraid of her 'reaction' than the boys. Sister can put up a stank).

BUT, another year of live and learn and I'm all in on the wild side of educating my children now. (says the lady set on taking 3 under 12's on a total of 36 hours plane ride to a 3rd world country..)

SO, our church's children's program is trying to raise money to build a well in Africa and instantly, I fell in love with our new church. How cool is that!! So as the end of the year grows near and their goal is still $3000 away - we were challenged to think of new and creative ways to raise money. So my mind goes back to the beans and rice challenge - and I think I'm ready to put the clothespin on and take it for a spin.

So instead of going on my Sunday afternoon shopping trip for groceries, this week I'm going to just rest my amateur couponing skills and go get a couple more bags of beans and rice.. ( and possibly a cheap rice cooker since Tony claims rice is the only food I am inept at cooking correctly). Usually we spend around $120 for groceries in addition to money a couple times a week or so eating out. So we'll donate that amount of money to help bring children clean water.

I'll let you know how it goes. While I have high expectations -- my family may think the idea stinks quite a bit (and they might be right) - but in the process, I'm hoping their little hearts can be broken just a little bit more through the experience. Beans, beans, good for the heart......

And we are.....

After almost 15 months of watching our phone with longing.... and begging it to play the stupid little song set aside only for our adoption agency....

we are now going to be obsessively watching our phone everyday..... and begging, no pleading, no - crying, praying, for it to play the stupid little song set aside for our adoption agency....

it's enough to make one go crazy...

(too late, right??) I think I gladly put on the crazy crown and became the queen of crazy when:

#1 I married Tony
#2 I gave birth to three little Tonys
#3 I said yes to our fourth little wild one, who will finally NOT look like Tony.

So what does #1 mean??

besides me taking my phone into the bathroom and having it turned on full volume for the unforeseeable future?

It means that the next little girl that our agency has, which is under 12 months of age, who is completely well, and has every last piece of her paperwork tucked snuggly in her fat file -- will then be matched with our family as we are #1 in line. But we do covet your prayers as it has just been the rainy season in Ethiopia which often brings with it illness and infections for the little ones. And Olivia has to be completely well for us to receive her referral. And with so many new paperwork requirements, it is taking so much more time to get a child's paperwork ready to go as our agency often has to drive many hours to try to track down an abscure person or office to sign off on or provide needed information.

It also means that when that baby is all ready to go, we will get a phone call from our family coordinator. It could be a Monday, but most often is towards the end of the week on Thurs or Friday... often near the end of day (so as not to cause too much stress and anticipation, right?) She will call, I will cry, we will get Tony on three-way call (hopefully) and she will then describe our new daughter. We will then rush to get the 3 littles and run home, screaming all the way, to open our email with the photos that will be enlarged and pasted all over the house. And in the car. And in our wallets. And possibly enlarged as an 8 X 10 around my neck. Possibly.

It also means that she is 'matched' with us. But NOT ours yet. So we cannot show her photo on the blog or internet as legally, she is not ours at that time. We will then wait for 1-3 months until we can get a court date and then travel to Ethiopia to meet her and appear before a judge affirming our desire to adopt her. Only 50% of families pass on their court date. So we may find out that day that she is our daughter, or we may have to come home and wait the excruciating time necessary to complete more paperwork and finally pass court. And then, and only then, will Olivia be OUR daughter and we will be able to post photos and more information.

And then we wait some more time - possibly 2-3 more months, for the US Embassy in Ethiopia to review our case and either pass us on and issue us (me) an appointment for her visa interview and passport; or then request more information, and once again - have us wait....

So the wait's not over... not by a long shot... but at least we are finally seeing the beginning of the tunnel.

It's funny - a friend just told me that we are "blazing the trail for those who would dare doubt the soverignty and might of God..." However, I told him I think we are more, "blindly and clumsily hacking our way at the bush with a machete." We'll get there one day but it ain't gonna be pretty.

Someday soon friends, someday soon. We pray. But in the meantime, we can bask in the joy of being #1. And hope it is a very, very short stay at the top..

Precious Photos

May I just point out the precious children captured in this perfect photograph??

And may I also point out the status of how valuable a digital camera is with 3 children?? And the sheer beauty of capturing the perfect picture? When you have faces like these ------

With these gorgeous eyes ---------


Or these loving looks ---------




And these award-winning smiles -----------


Or with expert (but unplanned) prop placements ----------------


It's only with the most precious photos that we capture the preciousness of these children ----

6 snaps to get 1 good shot...
can you imagine how much footage I'll go through when we increase the child number to 4??? Although if you evaluate the above, I think it may be one child in particular that I am having the most difficulty with??