The random thoughts of a mama bear fighting to make her family whole in 2012, and the bread crumbs since
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dirty Bottoms
A good friend of ours just got back from her recent trip to Ethiopia to meet her beautiful new son. While there, they visited the orphanage that he had been living in for at least 2 of his sweet 3 years.
She told me it was the worst place she had ever been. Many of the infants had recently been dropped off and still had attached umbilical cord stumps. They all were so filthy with soaking/dirty diapers that the families visiting couldn't even pick them up they were so dirty. The bottles were propped for each baby and with no burping, the tiny infants would throw up all over themselves and would lay there, not being cleaned up. The orphanage told her that they get one new child A DAY.
I am hoping our Olivia would no longer be one of those babies - but my heart still hurts for them. Olivia should already have been moved into our transition home and is being well fed, held, hugged, and cleaned. So to those that say that 'it's all about the money' - yes - we are paying alot of money to our agency in Ethiopia - but it is for the months that my child will be taken care of..... versus the alternative - her staying in an orphanage.
When I told Tony about the orphanage he clammed up until he said, "When we go on our trip - I'm not going to any orphanages. I can't take seeing that." To which I said in a completely not-so-submissive fashion, "Oh we WILL go. We have to. We have to be Jesus to those children, to hold and love them if only for a brief time." Besides that, that is the very purpose of praying and begging God to provide for the kids to go - so that they can visit and play with the older kids in the orphanages and have a love for missions and orphans birthed in them. Or will it be further birthed in us. Time will tell.
And then I got to thinking ----- how much are we just like those precious babies? Covered in our own stench and filth?? Every little white lie, every lustful glance, every gossiped word -- just more and more throw up we are covering ourselves with.
And yet ---- Christ still came to us. When he was a Prince - he left Perfection to come to where we live. To pick us up, getting himself covered in our stinking sin. And then to clean us up, make us new - and adopt us as his own. To take us home with him so that yes, when we mess ourselves again, and we will - or throw up sin all down our shirt - Jesus will wipe us clean once more. Cause that's what loving fathers do. I thank God I am adopted, and I thank God for the picture he has made so clear for us in this process to adopt one of his little ones.
The difference is that Christ comes to us and adopts us - all we had to do was call out to him and ask to be his child. These children don't have the option of asking to have a father. That's where the church needs to step up and follow the command of Christ to look after them. And that's where the church is falling down on the job. Although it is encouraging to see some churches in America now waking up to the orphan crisis.
-------------------------------------------------------
Months back we had reports from one of our visiting families about the conditions of the babies in one of the orphanages they visited. Babies sleeping on wooden planks in cribs, wet and cold. No diapers. Extreme diaper rash.
A sweet friend of mine started collecting cloth diapers and forming crews to make waterproof diaper covers to send. She then formed teams to take them over to the orphanages in Ethiopia, and now also, Uganda. Did I happen to also mention that this young mom shares the same DTE date as us for a baby girl, has a little boy already, AND had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor??? I don't want to hear anyone else say they don't have the time or the resources, or even the emotional capacity to adopt or help orphans - and that goes for myself as well!!!
We formed our own sewing team with 3 ladies showing up at church with me one Saturday morning to cut, pin, and sew more sweet diaper covers. Thank you ladies!!! (especially kind Debra who took fragments home to finish for me!)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
In the Kitchen - Pizza Marguerite
Since my last recipe post got more hits than most in the last oh, 2 years --- I am again veering off the adoption track into recipe land --- since at the moment - eating and cooking is far more fun than sitting and waiting for the phone to ring anyway!
Today's recipe is my go-to-when-we-are-starving-and-don't-want-a-can-of-instant-soup night. My kids still wont eat it but my meat&potatoes man loves it. For the kids, the pack of pizza crust comes with two - so I just make one a tomato sauce/ cheese regular:
It's a pretty basic pizza recipe but since I have had numerous friends and family email me multiple times asking for the recipe - here goes:
I didn't take a prep photo because it's about as basic as you can get:
1 prepared thin crust pizza - I love Mama Mary's Thin and Crispy. (You can find it near the pizza sauce/spaghetti sauce in Wal-Mart.)
4 Roma tomatoes, sliced
2-3 cups shredded mozzarella
1-2 chopped garlic
Fresh basil - fresh is a MUST
olive oil
shredded Parmesan cheese
Kosher salt & pepper
1) Start by brushing (or finger tip brushing) olive oil across the pizza.
2) Top with mozzarella cheese to cover all the way to edges. Don't skimp on the cheese, you're not using any meat - so that is how I get away from feeling calorie guilty.
3) Top with sliced Roma tomatoes and garlic
In my last recipe I had someone ask for clarification on the fresh garlic chopping. And again, I say - use FRESH ingredients and you will be SO much happier.
Start with a large knife. You'll have to get over your fear someday and let me just say - once you start using a large knife, cutting prep is far more fun and you get a little bit of that Rachel Ray feeling like you actually know how to cook and make millions of dollars at the same time. And I am a clumsy, messy cook and I haven't cut a fingertip off yet. Promise.
Place the garlic clove under the side of the knife and press or hit with your palm to crush the garlic. The skin will then fall away and you will have the peeled garlic perfect and clean without getting it under your fingernails.
Use the knife to rock back and forth over the peeled garlic. This is by far the best way to chop something. Just place the tip of the knife on the cutting board and rock the knife back and forth over it until it is in tiny pieces. You may have to wipe the knife off and then cut it some more as it likes to stick to the sides, but you get the idea.
Do the same with the fresh basil. Roll about 3-4 leaves into a basil 'cigar' and then rock the knife over to cut into small ribbons.
4) Sprinkle the garlic, fresh basil, kosher salt, and pepper over the entire pizza. Top each tomato with shredded Parmesan (although you can leave off if you don't have any) While I'm at this step --- please - throw away that shaker of Parmesan you have in your fridge. Go ahead and admit it, it doesn't have any taste anyway. Buy a bag of shredded instead for your spaghetti and recipes. I always have a bag on hand in my chiller, it lasts forever.
Sometimes I drizzle a little olive oil over the top of the tomatoes as well, sometimes I don't, just to leave the extra calories off. It's all good either way.
**Take note of how dark my pizza stone is - it is slick as can be from about 1,459,352 chocolate chip cookies, 2,346 potstickers, and at least 368 pizzas baked - with no bottoms burned to date.
5) Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes. Just until the cheese is meltey and gorgeous.

Ta-Da. Pizza Marguerite. That my family requests when they come and visit and my husband says even beats out the one at Carabbas. And that's high praise my friends, high praise indeed.
Today's recipe is my go-to-when-we-are-starving-and-don't-want-a-can-of-instant-soup night. My kids still wont eat it but my meat&potatoes man loves it. For the kids, the pack of pizza crust comes with two - so I just make one a tomato sauce/ cheese regular:
It's a pretty basic pizza recipe but since I have had numerous friends and family email me multiple times asking for the recipe - here goes:
I didn't take a prep photo because it's about as basic as you can get:
1 prepared thin crust pizza - I love Mama Mary's Thin and Crispy. (You can find it near the pizza sauce/spaghetti sauce in Wal-Mart.)
4 Roma tomatoes, sliced
2-3 cups shredded mozzarella
1-2 chopped garlic
Fresh basil - fresh is a MUST
olive oil
shredded Parmesan cheese
Kosher salt & pepper
1) Start by brushing (or finger tip brushing) olive oil across the pizza.
2) Top with mozzarella cheese to cover all the way to edges. Don't skimp on the cheese, you're not using any meat - so that is how I get away from feeling calorie guilty.
3) Top with sliced Roma tomatoes and garlic
In my last recipe I had someone ask for clarification on the fresh garlic chopping. And again, I say - use FRESH ingredients and you will be SO much happier.
Start with a large knife. You'll have to get over your fear someday and let me just say - once you start using a large knife, cutting prep is far more fun and you get a little bit of that Rachel Ray feeling like you actually know how to cook and make millions of dollars at the same time. And I am a clumsy, messy cook and I haven't cut a fingertip off yet. Promise.
Place the garlic clove under the side of the knife and press or hit with your palm to crush the garlic. The skin will then fall away and you will have the peeled garlic perfect and clean without getting it under your fingernails.
Do the same with the fresh basil. Roll about 3-4 leaves into a basil 'cigar' and then rock the knife over to cut into small ribbons.
Sometimes I drizzle a little olive oil over the top of the tomatoes as well, sometimes I don't, just to leave the extra calories off. It's all good either way.
Ta-Da. Pizza Marguerite. That my family requests when they come and visit and my husband says even beats out the one at Carabbas. And that's high praise my friends, high praise indeed.
Monday, May 9, 2011
In the Kitchen - Baked Potstickers
So in case you haven't noticed - I started a little page to the right where I can store my favorite recipes. I LOVE to cook and try new things. And then I LOVE to hold food in front of my husband or kids demanding "taste it! no really, taste it!!!!!"
Maybe that's why I specialized in feeding therapy with the babies so I can do the same to them vs. torture my husband. At least I did go through training to find out how to hold a spoon in front of a toddler's mouth for 45 minutes while they scream and refuse to eat. Fun, fun. As an added, 'about me' fact, in my hospital internship, I gagged stroke victims with 9 inch frozen Q-tips dipped in the most sour substance available (to increase swallowing muscles). How many of you still think being a speech therapist is a boring job now?!?
So on to my first official recipe post - yeaaaah!!! This one is actually a modified Pampered*Chef recipe that the fam and I have fallen in love with. It takes a little time (maybe 20 min prep) but is fun for the kids to help out with.

Just in case you have never used ginger (which I hadn't until this recipe). You first peel the skin back on a bit, leaving a 'handle' for you to hold onto while you grate on a fine section of the grater. Watch out not to grate your fingertips. That hurts.... big time.
As far as fresh garlic goes - either use a garlic press so you don't have to peel the outside skin off - which I did for this recipe. Or you can smash the garlic clove with the broad side of a knife, peel away the outside peel, and chop really, really fine. Which is how I use garlic in most recipes. (and for those pro chefs out there -- sorry for the elementary cooking lesson but I have some younger readers I know would be emailing me to ask how to do it!) Fresh garlic makes the biggest difference in ALL my recipes.
2. Once you get the mix together. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
3. Time for the fun - filling the Wonton Wrappers. Keep a bowl of water nearby to wet your fingertips, and dampen separated Wonton Wrappers so they will close easily. Spoon a tsp (or little less) of the mix into the center of each.

You then can choose to fold your potstickers into any design you would like. The three I like to make are a tootsie roll, an envelope, and one where I bring up each corner and pinch the diagonal sides together to form a kind of flower. The kids love making these. Just make sure your edges seal or the mix will seep out while baking. Arrange on clay baking sheet. You don't have to have room between as they wont expand.

** let me also say I am an addict for clay baking products. I have a large sheet pan, a brownie pan, a lasagna pan, a casserole dish, a mini pan, and a muffin pan. Have I said I love the clay baking products!?! The bottoms don't burn and cookies come out puuuuurfect as the clay lets heat go all the way through the food and cook evenly. That and clean-up is so easy - you just let cool, rinse with water, and scrape the food right off without having to soak and scrub. I have tried my potstickers on a regular baking sheet when I was making 2 batches at the same time and the baked-on-clay ones were much better - just watch out for bottom burning on a regular sheet.
**Notice how the pan to the right is twice as dark? It's because I have used it twice as long and it is now naturally twice as slick. It's called 'seasoning' and the older/darker a pan is - the better it is to cook on.
4. Bake until the edges start to crisp a little and potstickers are golden brown. Around 12-14 minutes.
Dipping Sauce Ingredients:

5. To make the dipping sauce, which is fantastic, you will need:
** this makes a decent amount. The kids like to dip their potstickers into plain soy sauce so Tony and I always have left over sauce. I use to halve the recipe but then found it refrigerated well so I now make it and store it in an oil salad dressing or glass bottle. This sauce is SO good on rice - don't let the jalapeno jelly throw you off - it is really a great mix. Spicy but sweet.
Serve with white rice and sauce. And I promise you, you wont have leftovers. Which is good because the wontons don't warm well the second go round.

** for anyone on Weight Watchers - I ran the points based on my modified recipe and it was 8 pts for 5 potstickers.
If you try it - let me know what you think! I've had great reviews as I have taken these to many different functions and they have always been a hit.
Maybe that's why I specialized in feeding therapy with the babies so I can do the same to them vs. torture my husband. At least I did go through training to find out how to hold a spoon in front of a toddler's mouth for 45 minutes while they scream and refuse to eat. Fun, fun. As an added, 'about me' fact, in my hospital internship, I gagged stroke victims with 9 inch frozen Q-tips dipped in the most sour substance available (to increase swallowing muscles). How many of you still think being a speech therapist is a boring job now?!?
So on to my first official recipe post - yeaaaah!!! This one is actually a modified Pampered*Chef recipe that the fam and I have fallen in love with. It takes a little time (maybe 20 min prep) but is fun for the kids to help out with.
Baked Potstickers w/ Red Jalapeno Dipping Sauce
Potsticker Ingredients:
- 1 can (10 oz) chunk white chicken; drained
- 1/4 cup grated carrot
- 1 tsp peeled and finely grated ginger root
- 1 T soy sauce
- 1 egg white, lightly beaten
- 1/4 cup mayonnaise
- 1/4 tsp onion flakes
- 1 garlic clove, pressed
- pack of Wonton Wrappers - found in produce section
Just in case you have never used ginger (which I hadn't until this recipe). You first peel the skin back on a bit, leaving a 'handle' for you to hold onto while you grate on a fine section of the grater. Watch out not to grate your fingertips. That hurts.... big time.
2. Once you get the mix together. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
3. Time for the fun - filling the Wonton Wrappers. Keep a bowl of water nearby to wet your fingertips, and dampen separated Wonton Wrappers so they will close easily. Spoon a tsp (or little less) of the mix into the center of each.
You then can choose to fold your potstickers into any design you would like. The three I like to make are a tootsie roll, an envelope, and one where I bring up each corner and pinch the diagonal sides together to form a kind of flower. The kids love making these. Just make sure your edges seal or the mix will seep out while baking. Arrange on clay baking sheet. You don't have to have room between as they wont expand.
** let me also say I am an addict for clay baking products. I have a large sheet pan, a brownie pan, a lasagna pan, a casserole dish, a mini pan, and a muffin pan. Have I said I love the clay baking products!?! The bottoms don't burn and cookies come out puuuuurfect as the clay lets heat go all the way through the food and cook evenly. That and clean-up is so easy - you just let cool, rinse with water, and scrape the food right off without having to soak and scrub. I have tried my potstickers on a regular baking sheet when I was making 2 batches at the same time and the baked-on-clay ones were much better - just watch out for bottom burning on a regular sheet.
**Notice how the pan to the right is twice as dark? It's because I have used it twice as long and it is now naturally twice as slick. It's called 'seasoning' and the older/darker a pan is - the better it is to cook on.
4. Bake until the edges start to crisp a little and potstickers are golden brown. Around 12-14 minutes.
Dipping Sauce Ingredients:
5. To make the dipping sauce, which is fantastic, you will need:
- 1/2 cup red jalapeno jelly
- 1/4 cup rice vinegar
- 2 T soy sauce
** this makes a decent amount. The kids like to dip their potstickers into plain soy sauce so Tony and I always have left over sauce. I use to halve the recipe but then found it refrigerated well so I now make it and store it in an oil salad dressing or glass bottle. This sauce is SO good on rice - don't let the jalapeno jelly throw you off - it is really a great mix. Spicy but sweet.
Serve with white rice and sauce. And I promise you, you wont have leftovers. Which is good because the wontons don't warm well the second go round.
** for anyone on Weight Watchers - I ran the points based on my modified recipe and it was 8 pts for 5 potstickers.
If you try it - let me know what you think! I've had great reviews as I have taken these to many different functions and they have always been a hit.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Hopefully our last
Chocolate Fudge Brownie
Not much compares to chocolate ice cream with brownie goodness mixed in. And may I say - while I have enjoyed this 8 month relationship with Ben & Jerry's - I would really, really, like to not have to pick another flavor next month. I am completely comfortable with breaking up with the guys and our monthly dates. Completely.
Although...... what better way to celebrate a referral picture than with another ice cream party!! Hoping to post THAT entry very soon!
**and is it just me or have my children aged dramatically in the last 8 months?? I put all the photos together on my new 'paper pregnancy' page and I think Addison grew from toddler to Kindergartner during that time! Must be the ice cream.....
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Going running, or not
Just looking back, realizing how sporadic my posts have become. Pretty much dwindled to every month on our DTE-varsarry. Which I'm sure is just highly entertaining and a sure way to keep others reading. (Go ahead, admit it, you're waiting each month with baited breath just to see what brand of ice cream we choose.)
Truth is - when we signed on for adoption. And said "yes Lord, we will go" - we kind of were expecting an 18 month commitment followed by an 18 year bigger commitment.
And now we are at TWENTY months, and still are only rounding the corner with a faaaaaaaar, far away view of the finish line. And let me tell ya, I am not one for distance running. Give me a sprint any day and I'll push through. But running?? I walked my way through cross country season in high school. Seriously. Embarrassing I know.
So instead of rejoicing at our #4 status, or smiling as I view her changing table, which has set waiting for her in my room for 6 months now. Or the crib which is still up in Addi's room --- I have been falling on my face and crying in my own little pity party. Again, embarrassing I know.
I want to be ecstatic when others are going on court trips to see their babies for the first time, I want to be jumping up and down when they go for embassy to pick up their children. But my sinful self is sitting in a corner pouting - saying "it's not fair." (Honestly --- I scroll over their blogs to see the date they signed their application letter to start their adoption, and pout even more when their dates are much later than mine.) I want to grieve with them when they are missing their children so badly - a hurt that I can not even image - having to leave your little, fragile new baby for months on end and not knowing when you can return, all at the mercy of a foreign court system. But I also want to yell and scream that I haven't even SEEN my baby yet. And she is no less mine and I am no less in pain of knowing we are still separated. 24 months after I became her mother in heart.
Embarrassing, I know. What a strong, stable Christian I am? I despise myself sometimes.
But ya know, I still know that none of this surprised God at all. None of this was not His plan. And for us to be still, wandering around in the Israelite desert, it must be because I still need to be taught something. Something like patience maybe?? Something which obviously I have yet to learn?? So I wander still.
God chooses the weakest to display his glory. That theme is all through the scriptures. And oh boy, can I be weak.
Am I posting this to make you feel sorry for me? NO.
I am posting it to let you see that I/we are not super Christians. We are not rocks of faith or of strength. But HE is. And every week, I have seen orphans placed in families. And that is nothing short of miraculous. And beautiful.
It doesn't take a super Christian to join the race. Or even a strong Christian. It doesn't take a wise and seasoned parent to mother a child who needs you. It just takes you. And even though the race is hard. And long. And tiring. And draining. Somehow, we haven't collapsed yet. And even though that finish line is waaaaaaay out there and I may want to stop and just run for a cheeseburger instead - my heavenly Daddy is running beside me, edging me on, letting me know that HE believes in me and knows I can do it. And we will..... and the reward will be so much more than we can imagine.
You too scared of running?
Truth is - when we signed on for adoption. And said "yes Lord, we will go" - we kind of were expecting an 18 month commitment followed by an 18 year bigger commitment.
And now we are at TWENTY months, and still are only rounding the corner with a faaaaaaaar, far away view of the finish line. And let me tell ya, I am not one for distance running. Give me a sprint any day and I'll push through. But running?? I walked my way through cross country season in high school. Seriously. Embarrassing I know.
So instead of rejoicing at our #4 status, or smiling as I view her changing table, which has set waiting for her in my room for 6 months now. Or the crib which is still up in Addi's room --- I have been falling on my face and crying in my own little pity party. Again, embarrassing I know.
I want to be ecstatic when others are going on court trips to see their babies for the first time, I want to be jumping up and down when they go for embassy to pick up their children. But my sinful self is sitting in a corner pouting - saying "it's not fair." (Honestly --- I scroll over their blogs to see the date they signed their application letter to start their adoption, and pout even more when their dates are much later than mine.) I want to grieve with them when they are missing their children so badly - a hurt that I can not even image - having to leave your little, fragile new baby for months on end and not knowing when you can return, all at the mercy of a foreign court system. But I also want to yell and scream that I haven't even SEEN my baby yet. And she is no less mine and I am no less in pain of knowing we are still separated. 24 months after I became her mother in heart.
Embarrassing, I know. What a strong, stable Christian I am? I despise myself sometimes.
But ya know, I still know that none of this surprised God at all. None of this was not His plan. And for us to be still, wandering around in the Israelite desert, it must be because I still need to be taught something. Something like patience maybe?? Something which obviously I have yet to learn?? So I wander still.
God chooses the weakest to display his glory. That theme is all through the scriptures. And oh boy, can I be weak.
Am I posting this to make you feel sorry for me? NO.
I am posting it to let you see that I/we are not super Christians. We are not rocks of faith or of strength. But HE is. And every week, I have seen orphans placed in families. And that is nothing short of miraculous. And beautiful.
It doesn't take a super Christian to join the race. Or even a strong Christian. It doesn't take a wise and seasoned parent to mother a child who needs you. It just takes you. And even though the race is hard. And long. And tiring. And draining. Somehow, we haven't collapsed yet. And even though that finish line is waaaaaaay out there and I may want to stop and just run for a cheeseburger instead - my heavenly Daddy is running beside me, edging me on, letting me know that HE believes in me and knows I can do it. And we will..... and the reward will be so much more than we can imagine.
You too scared of running?
Sunday, March 27, 2011
A new Sheriff (deputy) in town
Guess who's really excited that someone started working a new job today?? (Braeden) Guess who's really excited that someone is finally working at a job that he has wanted to do all his life?? (Tony)
Guess who thinks that a man in uniform is by far one of the biggest turn-ons there is??? (oh, that would be me)Guess who is really, really bummed that Daddy has to go to police academy for two months? (again, that would be me - 2 months of nightly races to the ball-field and having to wake up early to take the kids to school in my pajamas.... I need my man there to take care of the hard stuff!!)
CONGRATULATION OFFICER-TO-BE WAGES! WE LOVE YOU AND ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
**Tony will be working as a school resource officer at 3 of our local schools. Looking back, we think that this is a job that God had prepared for him all along to do -- with his background and childhood experiences, he will be an awesome, Christian, role model for those kids that has already dealt with every issue they may be struggling with. And if you take into consideration the 10-15 kids who have loved to play ball with him in our front yard, I know that the kids will love him. (But not as much as we do...)
In the Zone
Funny how when I told my mom we were having ice cream tonight she knew what day it must be -
And we are #6 in line for baby girl!! What is even more exciting is that our agency's estimation on time from DTE date to referral date is currently 7-11 months. So we are officially 'in the zone'!! Meaning that it could be anywhere from 1 week (but most likely not) to 4 months until we see her little face for the very first time. In the adoption world - rumors, speculations, etc abound and my new favorite is that a traveling family noted that there were 30 babies between the two baby rooms in our transition home. 30 babies under the ages of 12 months (we are requesting a baby 0-12 months). And of those, my friends are estimating that 20 are on our list now as in the process waiting for their mommies and daddies to come and bring them home. So 10 left, maybe. And guess what number we are overall in the line for 0-12 mos babies????? #10. Sweeet. Kinda like this:
7 Month DTE-versary!!!!!
Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream
This month, I chose a flavor for my honey. Since, truth be told, the following months have pretty much been to my flavor favs. And he loves Red Velvet cake..... but told me that he would have rather had ice cream with chocolate. Now ya tell me! This one was Red Velvet cake batter ice cream with pieces of red cake, and a cream cheese icing swirl. Ugh. The big boy hated it. The middle boy loved it. And the girl, she ate it all. The bigger boy said it was 'pretty good' and I, well, I just wasted a many a calorie on it and am glad that it wont be teasing me from the freezer tomorrow. Next month (if there has to be one), back to something with chocolate!!
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